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  5. My child Keeps Throwing Things with a Smile on her face

My child Keeps Throwing Things with a Smile on her face Lock Rss

Kristina is 20mths, beautiful child. She is low maintainence compared to a lot of other kids I know & associate with.

The problem is her favourite past time is throwing things & often repeating "Don't throw!" at the same time, with a smile on her face. Its like she gets a kick out of doing the wrong thing & I am not sure what to do anymore. Its a daily routine, there are always toys & stuff on the floor in the kitchen & meals area & in the rumpus room. When I am cooking she starts dragging her toys from the rumpus room to the kitchen & it drives me crazy but I don't have the energy to spend every minute of the day telling her off for dropping something.

I have gone down to eye level & told her not to throw & to pick up the item she threw, & persist until she does but a min. later she's doing it all over again with either the same object or a new one. I am afraid that I am not managing her behaviour & that things will get a lot worse in a couple wks time when I am expecting my 2nd child.

It started off during nappy changing time, we would offer her objeccts/toys, to amuse her while we changed her. But she would keep throwing them & we would keep offering new stuff to her. We also did this as a means of trying to get some food into her mouth during meal time, Kristina is a very fussy eater (even as a newborn she refused the breast/bottle often).

One lunchtime when Kristina was eating next to nothing & the floor was covered with items I had enough & stopped offering her things to play with/hold during meal times (with the exception of cutlery & finger food). Thankfully there are now less things to pick up after meal times & there are even times when there is nothing to pick up after the meal!

As a rule I tell Kristina to pick up the items she threw immediately after change or meal time, but she still continues to throw them. I no longer offer her items to hold when I nappy change her except for bathtime when shes getting dried, moisturised & dressed.

Every night before bedtime Kristina is expected to pack up her toys. Either my husband or I give her a hand but I ensure that we don't do it all for her. Recently if the place gets messy in the morning I would do the same just before afternoon nap.

Perhaps she has too many toys? We keep a box of toys/books in the rumpus room & sometimes when I am cooking I would offer her plastic cup/bowl/spoon so she can pretend play with me. At times I rotate the items in her box so that it is exciting for her but I haven't done that for a while. Some of the toys she leaves lying around she really shows effection for (eg she loves her rabbit, cuddles it, calls out "bunny, bunny!" but still at times throws it or leaves it lying on the floor).

If you have any suggestions or have the same problem I would love to hear from you!

Vic, 3 girls

Don't worry too much just yet as she's just reached the age where she is starting to push her boundaries to see how far she can go. Try ignoring her completely and you'll see out of the corner of your eye that she'll give up eventually.

Getting her involved in helping you prepare her food is good. I found my daughter ate more if she got to help. I'd cut up the fruit then put it on her own cutting board with her plastic knife where she would try and cut it again and then she had to put it in the bowl and spooning a little ice cream. She took great pleasure in giving everyone fruit salad to eat saying "my made it!". She also started to want to make her own sandwich and yes the bread was torn to pieces as she tried to butter it but she ate it all and was proud that she did it. Even leaving a little water in the sink after washing up and putting her on a chair (and supervising) to let her "help" wash the dishes. Give her the feather duster or a cloth as you clean the house and she'll keep herself busy. When we go shopping my daughter has her own list (paper that she has scribbled on) and I involve her by asking what she needs to buy, then handing it to her and she will put it in the trolley.

I also packed up heaps of toys and put them away in different boxes. Every 2-3 weeks I switch the boxes around while she is asleep then sit back and watch her rediscover her old toys.

As with everything, it's all trial and error. So good luck.
hi mommy v,

My 21 month old boy sounds exactly the same. He throws toys around all the time, he started with just the ball now he throws all his toys around. He also throws things into the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. I think it's just boredom, as we live in a unit and it such a confined space. I try and get us out as much as possible but it's not always possible. I think it must be a faze. I'd love to hear any suggestions.

Mum to toddler

I agree, I would try to ignore the throwing. You'll need nerves of steel, the throwing will probably get worse before it gets better. She could be throwing things because she likes the attention she gets when she throws - even if it is bad attention. When you ignore it she will throw things bigger and harder and louder and for longer, but eventually she will stop.

Do you watch the Supernanny? Maybe try the naughty corner if ignoring it doesn't work. Good luck.

Hi I know you posted this a while ago but I gotta say - DONT IGNORE IT!
Ignoring will give her the message that its ok. and its not. My son was a thrower aswell.
Here is what we did and he nolonger throws(very rarely)
Each time he threw something we took it away and told him off very sternly. By saying "dont throw" she is showing you that she knows that she is doing the wrong thing. For now ignore the smiling. My son is almost three and still smiles when he gets in trouble, for some kids its a nervous thing. as long as they see that you are not happy and this is not ok. We would take the item away especially if it were a toy and he would not get it back for the rest of the day. he would also go to his time out chair and then we would reenforce our disapproval of his throwing. he stopped his major throwing by just over 2 and started again just recently. My boy was the same. this was just about our only complaint with him. but that doesnt mean he should be aloud to get away with it. when he started again we did the same thing and when he did not respond we told him that next time he threw something we would take away all of his toys. he did, so we did! for a week he had nothing to play with. That was three months ago and he has thrown nothing since except a ball!
Good luck, but dont ignore it because it wont go away, you are beign tested and if they see that you will ignore it then that gives them a message which says if shes not watching we can do anything!!

Kathryn - Zack-4, Toby-2 & Molly 1

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