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1st born abandoned ? Lock Rss

Hi, I am planning to have a 2nd baby but I am scared because it feels like I am abandoning my 1st born daughter. She will go from No 1 to getting in trouble all the time because she mucks up while im feeding (as read on this forum) or smothers or hurts the newborn or is noisy while bub is sleeping etc etc etc.

I have a beautiful 2yr old girl who is the apple of my eye, we do everything together, she has never been in day care, she only ever gets babysat my mum or mum-in-law and we do all sorts of mums/bubs activities during the week, playgroup, swimming, unofficial mothers group at the local park etc.

I was also really sick with my daughters pregnancy, vomitting up to 20weeks plus migraines with no drugs allowed. I worked right through with only one sick day but I didnt have a toddler at me all day to play with her and I worry that I wont be able to cope with being sick again with a toddler running around. She is a really well behaved girl but likes me to be everywhere she is and actively playing her games.

Did anyone else have these feelings and worry as much as I am about this. I would love to just have my daughter and thats it but I dont want an 'only child' and for her to be alone in her life.

Please help, I am going to start trying next month but am really half hearted about it.

Bec. Mum to Jade (June 03) and Makai (July 06)

Hi Bec

we have a lot of the same feelings as you (except i had MS till 41 weeks) however we have made the decision for Bennett to be an only child.

Not so much that we dont think we have enough love to go round but all those reasons you said - aren't outweighed by our desire for another baby.

Most of my friends dont understand where we are coming from but as most people feel they want multiple kids we just feel we ant one.

If you do decide to have another I am sure that you will have enough time for both as all my friends with 2 or more certainly do. They say its tough at first but all are very happy with their decision to have siblings.

What ever you decide make sure its your decision as really its got nothing to do with other people how many kids you wnat to have.

Steph smile

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

Thanks everyone, I guess there is no rush except my husband is turning 37 this year. I am 28 but feel we need to do this now so he is still young and fit (he has a bad back already). Steph, did age or ability to conceive play a part in your decision?

Bec. Mum to Jade (June 03) and Makai (July 06)

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