Father does not want to see her........ ever!

Just throwing a question out there.......
I have a 2yr old girl who has never met her father. When I told him I was pg he said he never wanted anything to do with me/child if i went ahead with it.

I went through the whole court process of having to obtain DNA testing to be done as he refused to sign the b/certificate.
I am certain that his parents would not know about my daughter.

My Question is: Do his parent have the right to know about their granddaughter? And if so, should the decision for them to decide whether they want to have contact with her be made by myself or the father.?.... does that make sense??

I am thinking about sending them some photos (under separate cover) and giving them the opportunity to make contact with my daughter. But I am two minds about doing this for fear of retribution from her father..... ?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

p
[Edited on 09/11/2009]

My daughters dad was like that at first wanted nothing to do with me or my baby if i kept her, he even put a intervention order on me, saying i was harrassing him (which i wasnt and was proven when the order was not put againts me) and i had to go through Lawyers to get him to do dna, she was proven to be his like i said and then one day out of the blue, he turned up to talk to me and see his daughter she was 8 mths old, since then he only comes around when he feels like it, sometimes he doesnt see her as he comes late and she is in bed, other times iam not home and other times he see's her, although she doesnt like him when he is there she wants nothing to do with he she backs away and when he goes near her or picks her up all she does is scream,
His side of the family also do not know about Taneesha (except his older brother who knows me)and i was like ok so should i just turn up and say hey this is your grandaughter, or what, i havent and they still havent meet her, and she also has step brothers and sisters she has never met,
Sorry this is long but once i got started i couldnt stop, lol

thanks ann..... and no problems about not stopping..lol.......leviniaa

thanks "dongbat".....you've given me a few things to further consider......... thanks again...leviniaa

my sisters ex has their son once a fornite for 1 day . my sis told him that next year when their son starts school he could take him the whole weekend insted the idiot said he does not want him the weekend it will probably intefere with his new g/f etc men can be so dumb what will they do when the kid at 15 rejects him?

Hi, my name is Kylee and im having the same problem with my ex, he has a new gf and they have a baby 2 months younger than my daughter, my son is also his and he has seen him once this year and that was in may, he saw Kelsey then too but she was only 5 months old, so she didnt know any different. My son went for the weekend and cos the father never has anytime or him and his gf have always got plans that dont fit corey he never comes to see him, i live in Noosa and he is in Harvey Bay, the last time that we spoke we had a fight (as usual) and when he was supose to hang up he didnt actually hang up and i heard everything that was said, his gf said to ring me back and say that u would have corey then just dont take him back at all and cos there is no papers he could take him and i would never see him again, so im stuck there. And also we are going through DNA with my daughter cos his gf doesnt believe that she is his, he has never made contact ive always rung him, should i continue to ring him or just let him contact me when he is ready, corey looks at a photo and calls him the "bad man"! We are supose to be going through court but they are taking there time. Im really sorry this was so long.... and i was wondering if anyone has any advice for me Thanks

Hi Everybody! I'm not sure how old these messages are because i'm just new but i think i may have something that could help. I am a single mum and have been in and out of court for all of my daughter's life. Although i have not needed to go through DNA testing i have had a hard time with my ex. Brianna was six months old before her father was put onto the birth certificate because he refused to sign. My Ex is extremely bitter at me for 'ruining his life plan' so mostly i leave him to it. Brianna sees him on saturday and sunday fortnightly and returns home to sleep. I had to go to court for this too. She has a lot of problems after she sees him which are currently being examined by a child therapy expert. Anyway... I'm getting carried away so i'll get to the point. Legally the grandparents can apply for contact with the child in their own right. If they want to see your child but the father doesn't want anything to do with him/her that's fine. If you really would like to let them know i'd suggest giving them a call if you got along well with them and ask if they would like to meet somewhere neutral for a coffee or something. Somewhere like a park or a cafe. If you don't think you can call them write a simple short letter saying how you feel about them not knowing and attach a certified (for more credibility) copy of the DNA report. Either way it means that you can rest easy knowing you tried and leave it up to them.

Hi everyone, My ex partner doesn't see his daughter very much either. I used to ring him all the time to find out why he didn't turn up when he said he was coming to see Ashlyn. Now I don't I've come to the conclusion that she doesn't matter to him. He didn't turn up for her 1st birthday he was busy with an escort agency. He also said he was coming at Xmas and didn't show. It is dissapointing as I tell Ashlyn that he is coming and she gets all excited then she gets upset. So now I will not tell her when he is supposedly coming to see her. When he does see her she is weary of him. I have a couple of pictures of him holding her and they are on the wall. When she sees them she points and says Daddy.
Her father will ring my sister to find out information and my sister will rub that in my face. Like the time I was trying to reach him to tell him about his father dying. I left message for him to ring me urgently so he rang my sister, as my sister didn't know he then turned his phone off. It took another 3 hrs to get in contact with him then he said "Whats so bleep important.

As for the family we see them occasionaly they also don't have contact with their son. They don't want anything to do with him. Ashlyn just lost her grandfather from this family. When I take her over there they ignore me. That is hard to cope with.

So from now on I will not ring him he can ring me. Ashlyn has other males that love her especially my father as we live with my parents.

Hi Mish!

Your ex sounds like the twin of my ex!

Hi everyone,

My sons father threatened to run me over in his van when i was 6 months pregnant. He still refuses to believe that Caelan is his son and has never seen him. I ran into him once in town at a tafe reunion and we're were both in no state to talk civilly to each other. We'd both had a few and were screaming at each other. I did however talk to his current girlfriend, who is really lovely. She threatened to break up with him if he didnt see Caelan but he talked her out of it. Good luck to her! Ive sent his mum some photos, he called me and screamed saying that i was a bitch for doing it and making his mum cry. Caelan will be 1 on the 8th, less then a week away and Matt still hasnt shown any interest. How do i explain to my son about his father and is there anyway i can try to get his mum more interested?

Belle

Hi Belle,

I'm sorry to say but experience has told me that fathers won't come to the party until they are ready and that there isn't much you can do to make him. (Unless you want to take him to court for DNA which he has to pay half of if you succeed in making him eat his words)

Do you have any photos of you and your ex from when you were together? That is all i have for Brianna. She knows who he is and i tell her that a long time ago, before she was born, the man in the picture with her mummy helped her make a baby who turned into a beatuiful girl named Brianna. That man is her father and he lives at his house so he can't come over. She is usually happy with that. I don't tell her that he keeps refusing child support, refuses contact so he can attend a party etc. because i feel she needs to find out for herself what he is really like. When she is ready i have saved all our correspondence (I had to write so i didn't scream and cause more trouble) so she can make her own decision from both sides of the story.

As for his mother, she knows now. She knows how you feel and she knows how her son feels no doubt. If you try to push her to see caelan she may resent the situation just like his father. I know it's hard but i think it may be best to leave her some time to decide how she feels about caelan for herself. Does she know how to contact you and does she know when his birthday is? If so just wait until his birthday before you say any more. If you haven't heard from her by then you could give her a call and see if she would like to meet somewhere neutral (not their property or yours) to see her grandchild. If not just send a letter with your contact details and caelan's birthday details now, then wait.

Hope that helps
Keep us all posted