Be comfortable in your skin – this is a judgement free zone. Find out more!

Huggies Forum

Switch to Nappy-Pants

for toilet training!

Learn more
  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Toddler
  4. Toddlers & Dads
  5. married but feel like you are a single parent!

married but feel like you are a single parent! Rss

I am in a defacto relationship with my fiancee. We have a 27 month old daughter and a 11 1/2 month old daughter, I am also pregnant with our third child. A boy due in december. My partner thinks just because he works during the day he comes home at the end of the day and decides, he shouldn't have to do anything because he's been at work. He needs a break. Where is my break. I'm up at the crack of dawn, washing clothes, towels, sheets. Doing dishes, making beds, sweeping, vaccuming, washing floors, changing nappies, preparing meals, steralising bottles, not to metion washing CLOTH nappies. Putting up with temper tantrums. As well as grocery shopping with two kids. When do I get a break. The girls will very rarely sleep at the same time. The only time I get a break, is when I go to bed at night, which is usually disturbed by my kids. The majority of the time he's worse than they are. leaving dirty clothes everywhere, dropping his stuff as he walks through the house, in his mud covered boots on my freshly cleaned floors. Why should he get a break, I certainly don't.

Ali,NSW,Wade

hay i'm the same aaron comes home from work and want to play a game on the computer i keep izcc happy, but when it comes to watching my tv shows only for 1hr, he expects izacc to be quiet, but he doesnt take him, so now i give up on doing everthing, i feel like i'm the only one here, he better pull his socks up.
i've said to him i'm not your slave
hi i'm the same, a few weeks ago aaron and i have a huge fight, he told me he didnt love me anymore but loves izacc, i was so upset i cried for 5hrs non stop, my head was killing me, i felt like that was enough and i wanted to leave him, i'm doing everything for him, cook dinner, look after izacc, clean the house, but i thought about izacc 5months at the time, he needs his dad, but i can do it on my own, but then i would always go without everthing i want or need,
aaron never said sorry for upsetting me,
we always fight about money, and i'm always cleaning up after him, now i dont care anymore about keeping the house clean, if he doesnt clean anything why should i.
we r fine now 1 month on, he gets to go to work at do nothing, he doesnt understand how tired i get.

so know he says he loves me, but how do i know that he means it??, i love him so much

so dont worry you laddies are not the only ones.
It's so great to read stories that you can relate to!! My sister and I have come up with a motto to deal with 'OUR' hopeless husbands!!
'EXPECT NOTHING FROM THEM AND YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED'!! Doesn't make you feel better all the time, but occasionally it works!!
We could write a novel about the actions of our hopeless husbands!!
Here's just one recent story I thought I might share -
I was dealing with our 3yr old, putting her to bed. My son was crying 'cos he wanted his bottle. My husband had just stood up to go to the kitchen. So I said 'Can you please get M's bottle while you're out there?'
My husband returns with a beer, sits down and relaxes watching T.V!! I said 'Where's M's bottle?!'
HE HAD FORGOTTEN!!
M's crying still - WHAT'S UP WITH THAT??!!

Nicole, 3yr & 11 month children

hi there,

i thought i was the only one having a partner who is not helping much. Before we had our daughter he was so excited and we were planning how will share everything around the house including looking after the baby.
For me was a big decision to have a baby because my parents live overseas and my partner's parents live about 2 hours away from us and they both work, so i knew i would not get much help from them.

So when our daughter arrived i gave up work so i could stay at home with her.
And the same thing happened to me that to the all of you. Hubby comes home work, too tired, need to relax, need a break, so he does not have to help me. He thought that because i did not go out and earn money my life was on holiday. all he saw that i could catch up with my friends during the day at the park, but he did not see that having the baby with me sometimes i could not even finish a sentence cause i constantly had to watch the her.
Most of the time i could not wait for him to come home from work so i can sit down for 2 minutes.
But no, when he came home i still had to do everything and cook dinner, etc.
And what really annoys me that he still lives his life if he was single. Goes to his friends house once a week religiously no matter what. That is his " time off"
Yeah, time off from what???????
When our baby turned one year old i went back to work casual. I work shiftwork which means i start at five in the morning but i finish early too. finish at 12am. It is still 7 hours working though. this goes 3 times a week.
When i work hubby takes baby to childcare. so he got some taste to be with her all alone without my help. but all he has to do give her breakfast, dress her and walk her to the childcare.
And most of the times he complains that she drives him nuts and he cant handle her.
He makes me feel giulty of working and beeing away.
Recently he changed job and now he starts early in the mornings so he cant take her to childcare therefore i cant work my roster cause no one to take daughter to kindy.
lucky my work is really flexible so i changed my days and hours but it means i have to work on his days off, sat and sun long hours 5am-5pm.
he has to look after her now these days and all i hear is complaining that how tiring is to have her all day cause she is a very activ toddler. I told him welcome to the club.
the reason i am writing beacuse what happened last night really p*** me off.
I got home from work after a 12hour day at 5.30pm. He was laying on the sofa watching Tv, dd was running around. I asked him what is for dinner he said he did not care beacuse he is too tired.( but he expects me to put dinner on the table every night when he comes home from work)
i said it was ok just order some take away.
After that i had to prepare someting for my dd to eat , feed her, bath her, read for her, make the bed, and put her to sleep, while he was on the sofa like a big f***ing whale watching the footy.
and then he is upset that i dont have time and the drive to be intamate anymore.
today i am back to work at 5 am again.
and i guess tonight will happen the same.

Where is all that help he promised me before we had the baby??
Sign in to follow this topic