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I want to leave (i think) Lock Rss

Hi,
This maybe long so i will warn you now...
Ever since my partner's daughter stayed during the xmas hols i have felt as tho i have no control over my home life. I have been diagnosed with PND and i feel as tho i get no support whatsoever, actually there is no support.
DP won't attend counselling appointments with me, won't even attepmt to phone anyone to find out more. I've stopped taking AD as they just made me tired and really groggy and i couldn't function properly.
Then there is the money issue, we have hardly any and it always seems to be my fault. We have a V8 he refuses to get rid of, plus paying off 2 cars and i'm not "allowed" to put damon into daycare so we can start to get on top.
I get $300 a fortnight from centrestink and i'm s'pose to do all the shopping with it and put petrol in the car that will last until the next pay. I have nothing to wear ( it sounds trivial but it's not). I wear the same clothes all the time as there is nothing else in my cupboards.
My older kids are missing out too, my DD had to give up ballet as i couldn't find $8/week.
We live on a property 20kms out of town and i go into town once a week and even that is supposedly too much. I do everything possible on this one day including playgroup, post office, top-up shopping etc...
But yet he can spend upto $150 on food when he's working away on the road (he's a truck driver). I feel like i am being controlled and manipulated into doing everything his way all the time.
I can't remember the last time i had a kid free couple of hours.
I can't continue living like this anymore but yet i love my DP, i just want to feel like me again...

Hi Nikki,

I know how hard it can be sometimes and i can relate to some of the things you mention. You mention that you have PND, im not familiar with the medication that is prescribed for this but I have heard that there are different ones that you can take. I also know that depression makes everything 10 times harder to cope with life in general. There are some great councelling lines where you can call up and chat though, where they will just listen or give advice. Im sure if you called the parenting hotline they could give you ones of these numbers. I was down for 9 mths after my son was born and found them really helpful, it was good to talk to someone and get it all off my chest you know.

I really feel for you about the money etc, we dont have heaps but we make do with what we have. My partner provides us with everything we need and we use our centrelink payments carefully. Will he not give you a bit of spending money? What you say doesnt sound silly or selfish at all, its important to look after yourself and clothing is a basic neccessity. I've been into the salvos a few times and they have some nice things in there, especially baby clothes.
Does your partner have control over all the money? maybe you could keep $10 a fortnight from your centrelink payment and save up for something special for yourself. Its hard sometimes though, I know whats its like to have no money just even for the little things, like a coffee with the girls or a haircut just simple things.
Have you tried talking to him about how your feeling? getting it through to men though sometime can be impossible, but going about it the right way pays off.

I have a very supportive family who are more than happy to watch our 1yr old boy. Do you maybe have close family or friends or a neigbour who will watch your kids? Some time to yourself might make all the difference.

Stay in touch, I hope things get better for you - it'll work out for you I know it might not seem like it now but they will.
hi there i know how u feel re the mony issue i couldent even pay for lunch or a drink when i went out with the mothers group i use to ask for water and lie that i ate before i came until one day i got real depressed when one of the mums kept asking me questions and i got so upset and she brought me lunch in the end it all worked out for me chin up i know its hard and so depressing but u will pull through
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