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upset father Rss

hello there, does anyone have any ideas on how to solve this one. my daughter is 15 months old when her father comes home she finds it hard get used to him again, as he has been at work all day. she will try to smack him and won't play with him or let him change her without a screaming fit. this really hurts his feelings and has started to think that if he leaves her along then it's going to slove the problem. she is fine after a while with him when mummy isn't around. please any suggestions would help restore this daughter, father realationship.

leelee,Qld,14mth & 4 wk old.

You could try getting him to take her for a walk when he gets home. My daughter, at about the same age, wasn't quite that bad, but she hadn't really connected with her dad either. So he started to take her for a walk every day after work. It usually worked well. They were doing something together, but since he wasn't holding her, or playing with her, she didn't seem to have the same hostility towards him. If she was making a fuss, at least it was outside and didn't seem so bad. He'd take her places I never walked with her, so it was all new to her, and point out things I would never bother to point out, and they even eventually found a "special" playground that only he took her to. It also gave me a bit of time at the end of the day to finish dinner, or just take a break for myself.
I totally agree with the post above. It is really important for children to have quality time with both mum and dad wherever possible. I don't have this problem with my daughter as my husband takes care of her alot but I remember my dad always doing something special, not expensive, but special with us whenever he was at home. He used to work alot so he really only had us to mind on Thursday nights and Saturdays when my mum went to her part time job. He would always make my brother and I pancakes from scratch in the morning for brekky on Saturdays. I remember us sitting up at the bench watching and waiting. We would then go to the shopping centre that my mum worked at, visit her, have a wonder around, lunch and home. He would always buy my brother a matchbox car and I would get a Mr Men book. I still remember those days so clearly. Your hubby just needs to find the thing that he likes to do with your little girl. They will eventually have their secrets between them as she gets older. Leaving her alone in the long run I think would be a horrible thing for both of them. Every girl needs her daddy.

I hope this helps somewhat.

Kaz

Karen, NSW, 1 baby girl

HI there i have a simillar issue with my partner. He use to bath our daughter and pop her to bed about 3 months ago she started to want me at bed time then he had to get a shoulder recon done and was unable to hold her and do all the normal things and now it is all about me as soon as it is time to get out of the bath i have to take over from there. I have to pop her to bed and all the rest. it was so great when he did it as it gave me a break and i could get tea ready n all the other stuff and now i have to do it all.........
Ella (out daughter) is 22mths she loves spending time with him but i could see it upsetting him for a while. the other week i went shopping one day with a friend and he had her all day he went and bought a seat for the bike and she loved it so every arvo when he can he comes home and takes her for a ride and she loves it sooooo much. I dont know what advice i can give i just figure it is a phase she is going through as it is when she is tired she wants mum and she spends all day with me. I am also notiing my partner strugglying to understand wat Ella is saying she is starting to talk alot now i hear her baby gibber all day and know what it means he dosent and she gets so frustrated when he dosent recognise what she is saying. i feel a little sorry for him the poor guy. Just wanted to let you know that you guys arnt alone.
Good luck Alison

Alison 27yr NSW - Ella 4yr, Kylan 18mths, one in t

Hi,
I have the same problem. DH works long hours and they don't have a lot of time together. DS goes through phases when he is pleased to see his dad when he gets home, but then wants to be with me. We developed a routine where DS plays with Dad while I put finishing touches of tea and a quick tidy up after tea. Also, they have a couple activities that only they do together. DH draws animals for him and ds makes the noises. DH also helps ds build a lego tower so it touches the roof. DS loves this and I have deliberately left those activities for the 2 of them. A couple of times when I have been desperate for something to entertain ds, I have tried these activities and ds is not interested - its something just for them.
I hope this helps

When my DD was 14 months old she went through a stage (for the next 10 months) where she only wanted me and wanted nothing to do with her dad - he could not even push a shopping trolley with her in it, couldn't put her in the car, couldn't change her nappy - nothing. And he has been a very involved dad from day 1. So we made sure that Dad did all the fun things like swimming, playing ball, reading stories, walking with her on his shoulders. So if she wanted to do something fun, she had to do it with her dad. That really did the trick and today they have the most wonderful relationship.

http://whitesinnz.blogspot.com

HI we had this exact problem with my youngest son when he was round the same age,he would cry & try to smack his father& wouldnt go near him.We started by talking on the phone in his lunch break just even to let my son hear his voice then in the afternoons we would look at photos of daddy & talk about games we would play when he got home.They also had their speacial games that they played with daddy(i have 2 boys now 2 & almost 5)at first i would have to join in but after a while he was then happy for me to go off & do what i needed to do round the house.In no time my youngest was the first to jump all over daddy when he walked through the door.
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