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3 word story updated novel, begin here again! Lock Rss

The Story so far....

One fine evening, kids fast asleep. I walked into my clean kitchen and started to cook a feast, it took forever made dessert first, it needed time to set and get firm. My husband walked in and saw me, “what’s going on in here” he whispered, and kissed and then slowly picked uo a wooden spoon and started to mix my yummy chocolate mousse. I said “that is my mousse. You are not going to have any and I am going to enjoy all this scrumptious, delicious mousse.” With that I turned and smiled, winked then put my hand in the mousse and wiped some all over hubby’s left cheek! He smiled then took the rest of the chocolate mousse and smothered it all over my new and expensive lip gloss which I got on Thursday. I tried to clean it, but it wouldn't come off my lipgloss!! FUMING, I went across the, room to try some white vinegar with terrible consequences I couldn't stand the taste of it and I spat it out I then went on a wild rampage around the house determined to rid the place of everything that was dear to my fellow husband. That will teach him not to mess with my new and expensive lip gloss. He than went into the bathroom and got the rest of all my lip gloss and smashed it into the bin. He was very mad I had never seen him like this before. it was out of shear determination that what was about to happen. Happened I took his hand and then kissed him gently we moved to the kitchen where we once had made some very passionate long lasting intercourse, and it seems like such a long time since we have been passionate about doing it on a Tuesday. Suddenly the bench and all the dishes seemed like they were going to get in the way of our rare mad passionate finger painting sessions. Luckly for us we did not leave the door open but we were in such a rush that we forgot to put on clothes. At that moment in walked son and his girlfriend We were SO into it we didnt even notice until they said what are you doing with that so we jumped out the window landin on a big pile of dog mess and what a horrible state we were in. Laughing hysterically I fell on the couch with dog mess all over my butt. I was not the least bit worried as I was planning to throw out that old couch anyway. We then went into the other bathroom and we were then overwhelmed by the smell with what we had just experienced. We both decided to go and have a shower but unfortunatley we forgot to take any soap or bodywash so we had to improvise and use the toilet brush and we came out covered in lots of tiny particles of loo blue. I realised then that we had taken all of the towels to dry us off, had to go and get some perfume to get the smell of the revolting loo off our skin. Happily, just then we decided to go out instead so we got into the car and sped off towards the town "lets go wild Lets go on ready steady cook! "What ingredients shall we buy? How about some red wine with some chicken breast and coffee beans. What should we have for desert, he suggested a pavlova and we both agreed that would not try to give us gas. Throw it at Gabriell Gate, the thought of it did cross my mind, but we then decided not to use the Pav and use some pickled plums then picked up them and threw in the pot then continued to completely pulverise the entire bunch of plums with a hammer found in the freezer section. Next we went for a dip in the pool and found a dead body in the bushes beside the shops but it was OK as it was only one of the seven dwarfs. In the end we picked him up and took him to meet our family but the dog did mess right under his burial plot so we tidied up the rest and put him under the rosebush. Along came a another of the seven dwarfs. It couldn't be happening! Dwarfs everywhere! I got my camera but they were shy so I had to bribe them. I offered them some jelly babies. "NO! they said, You killed Dopey!" Well, what can I do, The police are coming and have been told that we were in a lot of trouble. So we ran off and hid under the rose bush but Dopey smelled so I put him in the BBQ and lit it and started to sing. "I wish I was a bird, flying through the clouds". Then I heard a noise coming from the incinerator, could this be the free spirit of a very special little dwarf, Dopey? I put my hand on Dopey's halo and threw caution to the wind and decided to also put Grumpy on the next bus that is going to disappear from radar. I packed some rations and put them on ice with Dopeys teeth, clothes and hat which hadn't burnt in the fire and buried them. Just as we started to leave we heard a gunshot behind the house. Oh No! We ran out of milk! We needed to go to the deli and get some chicken breast fillets and some sundried tomatoes but we decided to eat Grumpy. But you can't eat Grumpy, that would upset Sneezy, Sleepy, Doc, Happy, No it will not, they won't even notice. I killed them too! So now we sit down to a home cooked meal, but forgot about disposing of the dwarfs so they had to go where nobody would dream of looking for two fugitivesbut what they didn't expect was to find Snow White. She had come to invite the dwarfs to a big 50 year reunion but was shocked that the big bad wolf had eaten their remains. Hurriedly we tried hiding the evidence at Binnings. We couldn't find anyone to help us so I asked a nice lady at the checkout to direct us to the drill where we did not expect t find one of the underworld lords. Once we bumped into them we got some helpful advise on covering what we had picked up at the store around the corner. We then packed up the lamborgini and sped off to the desert where they knew nobody would think to find them there. It was the middle of Australia. Right before the big pineapple aruond us there was vast acres of beanstalks as high as the clouds. Then suddenly 3 UFO's hovered overhead a strange beam of light was shining down on our see through car, the beam was so strong it blinded us and left us totally paralysed. Quick as a flash we jumped out before the aliens landed on our VW combi van and started to take our bits of chocolate peas and caramel beans and mash them......

DD1 July 2004 DD2 August 2007 DS September 2009

with their prong

24 year old mum to 2 beautiful girls

i already wrote this but you must of missed it ;-(

up into millions
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