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family issues Rss

i'm going to open up my feelings here...

my father was abusive when we were growing up - until i was in high school. i only have 1 older brother. Dad was only physically and emotionally/mentally abusive, not sexually abusive but treated my brother much worse than me. this continued till mum and my brother moved out. they said i could move out with them which i did later.

my issue is that i've always felt that mum loves my brother more and 1 day she admitted it. she said she had to because dad abused my brother more. it really hurt me to hear that and thought i'd gotten over it but now that i have my own baby and will have more in the future i vow to love all my children equally no matter what. i'm still hurt by this and don't know how to move on. i know i should just suck it in and accept that's how our family is but it's so hard...
Im not in a similar situation, and im not even going to pretend to understand what it was like to go through it. But as for you mum maybe its her way of making up for the way he was treated. Maybe she feels if she loves him more, he will forgive her for him being in that situation? Everyone deals with things differently.

Im really sorry its such a hard thing to deal with.
*hugs* babychino - that must have and still be so hard. I dont have any idea what it was/is like for you but can only offer this advice.

Perhaps your mum is showing more care towards your bro cause she maybe can tell that your strong enough to manage and get thru things on your own so she therefore is concentrating more on brother cause he doesn't/couldn't? No idea but perhaps something along theses lines?

Anyway ... all the best and I hope things get a lil easier for you. At least you can know your trying to break that cycle and will be a great mum to all your kidlets!
Hi Babychino

Sorry to hear that story, it sounds more like your mums issue from guilt, nothing to do with you personally, she should never have told you her feelings like that, she sounds a bit messed up. none of it is your fault.
Hi, have been in a similar situation, I was sexually abused as child by an uncle - don't feel sorry for me, because I no longer do, its just made me stronger and more aware where my kids are concerned. So I know how any kind of abuse can wreck you emotionally. I also had a conversation with my mother recently about how she's just there more for my sister then she is/has been for me and was informed that I was always more self sufficient then my sister so mum felt she had to be there for her more. I'm sure your mum doesn't actually love you any less any more then mine does, its just that she felt the same as mine that your brother needed you more. Still hurts but, so hugs and I hope it makes you feel a bit better to know that people do understand.

Robin

Sorry, but there's no excuse for your mother telling you that. She should never have said it. If you are struggling to move past it, maybe you need to talk to a professional? Sounds corny I know, but sometimes it's easier to let it all out to someone you hardly know as you don't feel you will be judged. Just an idea, I know some people are against it, but if it helps you move on I'm sure it will also help you be the best mum you can be.
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