Huggies Forum

The Huggies Forum is closed for new replies and topics, you can still read older topics.

Separated under one roof.... Lock Rss

Hi
My husband and I have been together for 15 years and have 2 wonderful children. We have recently separated, sleeping separately, doing our own thing however still remaining friends for our kids. Our house is currently on the market (and has been for 6 months) and when it is sold we will be separating. He has not moved out as yet because we cannot afford for him to and we are legally recognised by Centrelink "separated under one roof"

Anyway, this may sound strange to some people and did to me at first however it does make sense for the kids..

We would like to get a house which has either 2 houses on the one property or a house with a huge block and a smaller self-contained granny flat for my husband to live in. The reason being is so that we are both still readily available for our children and financially it works also. I work for his business he owns with his brother and they still want my work to continue.

I just wanted peoples opinions on whether you think this is strange? Have you heard of a situation like this before?

Thanking you in advance..

I think it's great that even though you are separated you are still able to be civil enough to have such an agreement.
I've not been through anything like this myself but if it works for you why not.
Thanks for the reply. No we don't plan on staying alone forever, obviously eventually each of us will have separate partners however we will deal with that when the situation arises.

We have discussed with eachother issues like this and have thought it is better for us to stay on the same property (not in the same house) because the kids are young.

However, if things don't work out, then it will be both of us renting separately. As I have said, we are both amicable and the kids don't even suspect anything and it's almost been 2 months.

My family and my husbands family are very close. We are all one family because my dad is in a partnership with my husbands babysitter from England. My brother is marrying my brother in laws best friend so our family meals and occasions are always with both families together.

That's why I was asking if it sounds strange, it definately sounds weird but I am sure either of our future partners would understand initially especially if they're the right person.

Sorry forgot to mention, we are looking at divorce but we cannot legally be divorced for 12 months.

Just a question... Are you getting single parenting payments now from centerlink?
hello,

cant say i have heard of this situation. i fully understand why you would want to do this, but at the same time think it spells trouble.... once you arent under the same roof thats when people are open to meet others, and after 15 years i cant see how if you seen him bring someone home (either for fun or cos hes interested) or vice versa its going to go down well, there is always love there for someone after long periods of time and because they fathered/mothered children, and it would really hurt u or him to see each other with other people.... living on same property under diff roofs also still gives each of you a certain amount of control over the other whether you mean to do it or not.

im glad you guys are so good with each other about the split and can remain friends and are close as a family but i think doing it the way you guys are planing it could destroy all of that.

wish you all the best and hope that whatever you choose to do works for you! good luck smile
Hi, I think its great that you have been able to split amicably. So many couples go for the throat when seperating, so to be humble, is lovely for all involved. I can see the points with everyone responses. It could work, It could not. Money permiting, maybe you could live in seperate houses but within the same street/culdersac. This way you would both have greater independance, but still be nice and close to each other.

I wish you luck and hope it works out, it could be great.
We are in the process of getting separate payments. We have been through the paperwork and have been told to get separate accounts.

The same street would be great but the odds of finding 2 rentals in one street near our sons school would be against us.

Well, we shall see how things go.

'thatsmygirl'

Both of us have brought someone home for fun (hopefully that doesn't offend people, it was a mutual understanding) so we definately don't have that issue. We know we love eachother but only as the father and mother of our children. But again thank you for the well wishes.

Thanks everyone again smile

well if you guys have come through that hurdle then MORE POWER TO YOU!!!lol go for it! really hope it works out as being close would benifit the kids greatly!! good luck to you and your family! smile
I just wanted to add that its great that you can be so amicable with your ex for the sake of the children. Good on you.

I hope it all works out for you.
Hi, from what I have read this seems quite common. I am just about to start doing this, my ex is renting a room with my Mum and I (Mums house). We are amicable but he is immature. We have been separated for over a year and I am taking a new job (200k's away) 60 hours a week with shiftwork so if I shared custody with him I would never see the kids (aged 1 and 3). He dosn't work at the moment. Ideally he would live in a granny flat or similar and Mum might decide to build one on her property.

I don't know what will happen when/if we meet someone new. I have no interest in another relationship, i need to get my life together.

Good luck to you xx
My DH and I split about 4 years ago (we got back together 2 years later) and I guess compared to most it was an amicable split and we stayed good friends but did have out moments!!! Personally I don't think you can live under the same roof especially when others become involved. Your children will still see him on a regular basis if he is in the same area.

Also do you not think it will be hard to explain to your children when mummy or daddy has someone else in the house in the morning??? Good luck if you decide to give it a go but I think you are asking for trouble. You both need to let go and move on independently.
Sign in to follow this topic