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Marriage Lock Rss

For us everything changed after getting married. We did not live together nor did the deed before marraige due to our religious beliefs. So it definately was a pivotal turning point in my life.

I personally hate the term "partner" - I really dislike it when I am refered to as DH partner when I am his wife.

I love being a wife, I like the belonging aspect and the fact that we are a team. I know many older couples have said to me that there are hard patches but it keeps getting better with age.



I love that I am married to my best mate, confidante and someone who knows me just as well as I do. To me I feel like we are one person - he is my right arm - we have this closeness that we didn't have before being married.

Although it's probably different in my situation as I was 19 when we got married, and for me it allowed me to truly let go and let him see everything about me that no one else had seen. I realise this is probably something that would be due to my age at the time..... had we not gotten married at that time I'm sure our relationship still would have changed over time to what we have now.

I don't know the answer to your question... if you have been together for a long time, share a home, kids, bills ect it's probably not going to make much difference in terms of how your relationship is. But it could be a nice chance to take time to celebrate your relationship, your love and companionship, and a nice time to pamper yourselves a bit. However if you really don't believe in that piece of paper you could just take some time out to yourselves with a few nights away.

If I were to get married again... I'd make it less about the people that were coming to witness it. Our wedding cost us more than we could afford at the time which put a lot of financial strain on us. I wish we had've gotten married on the beach in Bali (we went there for honeymoon anyway) with just immediate family if they could come. It would have worked out way cheaper and would've been way more intimate.

Each to their own... personally I love that we are married - it's something I can't really even explain - but I do understand what you mean when you ask about it. I don't judge anyone for not wanting to get married at all! It doesn't make your relationship mean less if you choose not to get married.





I love that I am married to my best mate, confidante and someone who knows me just as well as I do. To me I feel like we are one person - he is my right arm - we have this closeness that we didn't have before being married.

Although it's probably different in my situation as I was 19 when we got married, and for me it allowed me to truly let go and let him see everything about me that no one else had seen. I realise this is probably something that would be due to my age at the time..... had we not gotten married at that time I'm sure our relationship still would have changed over time to what we have now.

I don't know the answer to your question... if you have been together for a long time, share a home, kids, bills ect it's probably not going to make much difference in terms of how your relationship is. But it could be a nice chance to take time to celebrate your relationship, your love and companionship, and a nice time to pamper yourselves a bit. However if you really don't believe in that piece of paper you could just take some time out to yourselves with a few nights away.

If I were to get married again... I'd make it less about the people that were coming to witness it. Our wedding cost us more than we could afford at the time which put a lot of financial strain on us. I wish we had've gotten married on the beach in Bali (we went there for honeymoon anyway) with just immediate family if they could come. It would have worked out way cheaper and would've been way more intimate.

Each to their own... personally I love that we are married - it's something I can't really even explain - but I do understand what you mean when you ask about it. I don't judge anyone for not wanting to get married at all! It doesn't make your relationship mean less if you choose not to get married.

Thanks for a great answer.
For the wedding day! That's what I reckon, nearly every girl wants to be a bride...

I am not married, i have wondered what the benefits are.
Not trying to be sarcastic, i truly want to know what changes for you when you are married.
I mean would things be easier for us for loans and what other advantages are there to being married. I am really interested in your views.

Do you like being married? And did you feel any different after you were?
Would you do it again?



I think of our marriage as a public declaration of our love and commitment to each other. Our wedding day itself to me was not ever about the dress or the reception but rather about that covenant that we wanted to make to each other in front of our family and friends.

What changed? Not much apart from my surname,lol.

Marriage doesn't change the relationship you have with your partner, nor do you feel any different afterward (well I didn't).

Our wedding day (to me) whilst a significant day because we made our vows to each other, was at the same time only one day of our lives; marriage and commitment to me, is not just making those promises to each other but spending each day from that point on showing that you meant them.

I walk tall and proud to be married to my husband and have his last name.
If you take your vowels serious then marriage can be very life changing.
It is a commitment, a contentment, a goal setter, a future, families are produced. Marriage is everything wonderful, if you marry the right person for you.
Haven't read all the other replies, but for me, I'd say it was a sense of psychological and emotional security.

I think, in past relationships, I kind of had this subconscious attitude of, "well, if it doesn't work out I can always leave..." and that was somewhat exhibited in my attitude toward relationships. Sort of as an escapism. I didn't really see the need to 'work through' major issues that would arise because I was never really serious (except for one guy before DH and we NEVER fought or disagreed anyway!) so walking away was easier.

But with DH it was different. Well, at first it wasn't. I still struggled with that mentality and found that it was something I had to work on. For me personally, marriage provided that sense of security that both of us are fully committed to our relationship and one another - by agreeing to be 'bonded' by the law and tradition, we were both vowing to one another and in the presence of all our family and friends that we saw each other as 'worth it'.

We were married 2.5yrs after we started dating and we had DS a year before. I think it did change our relationship, the before mentioned insecurities that were present prior to marriage (even when we had a child) dissipated after we married. That's why I say psychological. lol. Because nothing physically changed!!

But then, I was raised in a Christian family so these values and beliefs were instilled in me from a young age - probably contributing to that sense of insecurity. I honestly believe our views of marriage (and many other important matters) are strongly determined by the values imparted into us at a young age and consequent experiences.

If marriage isn't something that holds a lot of value to you, what about talking to you partner and trying to discover why it means so much to him? That might help you to understand things from his perspective too and determine whether it's something to move forward with or not. smile

I personally hate the term "partner" - I really dislike it when I am refered to as DH partner when I am his wife.


I think you'll find that the word partner is used a lot in this forum, largely because there are many different relationships and relationship 'stages' here, and partner seems to encompass them all. smile
ah renee... you always say what I can't seem to say!! lol
Our family were the same with christian beliefs and morals... even though we had sex before marriage and already lived together (much to the disgust of my parents) there was a real sense of security through getting married. We had already been together for 5 years so it seemed like the natural progression of things.

However now I look back I realise I was WAY too young to truly understand what we were doing. Not that I have any regrets - we have both changed and grown together in the same direction and that's something that's really special to me.




so that when i divorce him i get everything tongue laugh

sooooo just joking.


really its because it just felt "right"

i didnt think of pros and cons or advantages and disadvantages. it just felt right. and im a big believer in following your heart.

so that when i divorce him i get everything tongue laugh



yeah, I can see you explaining HOW the truck/s would benefit you...bahahaha



ETA: Oh and chalys, I agree, I've changed and grown a lot and I think Dh has too. Funny thing is, we're COMPLETE opposites, in every way. Yet, it works so brilliantly for us! And I can see how it's slowly brought us into the 'middle' by kind of levelling each other out. haha (e.g. I'm a little more laid back and cruisy now instead of living like a chipmunk on speed!) lol

yeah, I can see you explaining HOW the truck/s would benefit you...bahahaha



ETA: Oh and chalys, I agree, I've changed and grown a lot and I think Dh has too. Funny thing is, we're COMPLETE opposites, in every way. Yet, it works so brilliantly for us! And I can see how it's slowly brought us into the 'middle' by kind of levelling each other out. haha (e.g. I'm a little more laid back and cruisy now instead of living like a chipmunk on speed!) lol


LOL I can just see you as a chipmonk on speed!! bahaha! Dh and I are complete opposites too - he was the funny social guy that has everyone in hysterics when we go out, and I was the shy girl that struggled to say hello to people.... we've both come to middle ground - he takes life a little more seriously now and I've become more outgoing than I ever thought possible. He's still the centre of attention when we go out though - but I don't mind him doing all the hard work for us!!! lol




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