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Divorce Question Rss

After reading an article about young people [meaning 18-25] getting married then getting divorced after an average of 2 years it intrigued me why this occured.

The article went on to say that most of them surveyed responded that marriage wasnt what they thought it would be hence they wanted to get out while they were still young so they could still find their 'perfect' partner. Most also said that they 'sort of' knew it may not turn out but knew that the option of divorce was easy.

I know that some people have a genuine reason to divorce EG their spouse cheats, physical/mental/emotional abuse etc. But do you think that divorce is made too easy these days? If you are divorced are you still happy with your decision to do so? Do you feel you or your husband couldve done more to save the marriage?

I've been married for 16.5 years now and it has not been easy. DH and I agreed that when our twins were old enough we would seperate. We felt as if we'd grown apart so much that we just resented each other. I resented the fact he was at work so much and not at home helping me more often and he resented the fact that when he walked in the door he was handed a baby and being told by me what to do.However once things settled down and we each opened up to each other plus got some help things dramatically improved. He never moved out and now even though we still have our ups and downs we are glad that we made that effort to stay together.
I think that so many people go into marriage these days with the same sort of mentality they have with dating - "oh well, if it doesn't work, there's always someone else"

I don't think much can happen in order to change it, I honestly think that's the GenY mentality with most things...

I used to have that mindset when dating, I would just jump from one guy to another. But when I married, it was something a lot more sacred for me...

I have an 18yr sister who just got married and one month later they're already having big problems...divorce has already been mentioned numerous times. blink
I think divorce is made too easy for everybody, not just young people. I've heard statistics saying that half of all marriages inn Australia end in divorce. I guess it comes down to how how much effort people are willing to put in. Obviously there are situations where no amount of effort will help.

I married my DH at 19. We are still here 8 years later. Geez it has always annoyed me no end when people tell me that coz we got married young we are 'more likely' to get divorced. roll eyes

mummy of two

Yeah, I have decided that relationships are a two way thing that requires an amazing amount of work.

Before I met my DH I had several broken relationships and I was a single mum. We met and became pregnant straight away, so my DH learnt how to deal with a 2yr old, we had the pregnancy and we had to learn to live with each other- he had to move out of the house he was living in and we thought why not??- at the same time. It was hard but the one thing that kept us going was that when one of us gave up the other one fought for the relationship until we got our s#@* together and made it work again.

It has been 8 years at christmas and although he really drives me insane sometimes I have never met anyone that I want to be with more nor do I trhink that I ever will.

I dont know what the future holds for us but I hope we continue to wake up every day and say you are the one that rocks my boat. smile

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I can't speak from experience but I think sometimes people don't realise that marriage needs to be worked at. DP and I have been together 10 years we will get married at some stage, money is the only thing stopping us lol.

I wonder how long the couples you've mentioned have been together before marriage. Because I honestly don't think getting married will change our relationship as in it wouldn't be what I thought it would be, but it is something we really want. Even being in a relationship we need to work on it.

But in answer to your question, yes I do think divorse is made to easy. Oh and I'm not talking about those that split because of cheating etc. It seems like marriage is treated just like dating really.

Honey marriage makes it better, there is nothing like a person publically saying YOU ARE THE ONE!! wink smile

http://decadent-delights1.webnode.com/blog/
My blog, take a peek into my world

IMO, couples are afraid of hard work. The first sign of trouble, or the honeymoon period ends, then suddenly that's it! Rather than fix the issues & probably go on to have a great, lasting marriage, people move on to someone else, where funnily enough, the same issues arise. People think marriage is going to be easy, but it's not. IMO, you need to constantly work on your marriage, if you want it to last that is. I've only been married for 5 years, so I'm still a "newlywed" & there have been challenges along the way, but to me divorce is an absolute last resort, after therapy, counselling, trial separations etc etc.
I don't know anyone who goes into marriage light-heartedly ... I also can't comprehend why anyone would spend that much money on a wedding if they weren't sure it was forever?

The people who I know that got married young (eg.18-25) are still together and strong.

DH and I were together at 17. We had our toughest time when we were 24 and had an unexpected pregnancy (DS1), and almost broke up at this time. We didn't end up marrying till we were 27. I actually think cause we have grown together we are pretty strong. We have our ups and downs like all couples but we are of the mindset anything can be worked through .. as so far this has been the case for us

IMO, couples are afraid of hard work. The first sign of trouble, or the honeymoon period ends, then suddenly that's it! Rather than fix the issues & probably go on to have a great, lasting marriage, people move on to someone else, where funnily enough, the same issues arise. People think marriage is going to be easy, but it's not. IMO, you need to constantly work on your marriage, if you want it to last that is. I've only been married for 5 years, so I'm still a "newlywed" & there have been challenges along the way, but to me divorce is an absolute last resort, after therapy, counselling, trial separations etc etc.


I agree whole heartedly with this. smile

DH and I got married almost 10 years ago at the ages of 22 and 21. We have pulled through some incredibly hard times and I guess I get a little annoyed at friends of ours who separate just because they have "lost the spark." What the?? Not many people try to solve the problems anymore cos its just too hard.

DH and I have come out better and stronger through one of the most difficult situations that a marriage can go through.... an affair. So we are proof that you can get through that and become stronger on the other side of it. Its taken an awful lot of hard work, but we are better for it.

I think marriage counselling should be mandatory for married couples after a certain amount of time. It truly does help and I personally think it would lower the divorce rate by a lot. And its just too easy to get divorced.

I agree that marriage is sacred and some people go into it too quickly or for the wrong reasons.

I agree that it takes a lot of work, but I think it would take an equivilant amount of work to sustain a relationship like that, regardless of being married.

I disagree with the notion of divorce being too easy. I have never heard of an easy divorce. It appears to be hell for all involved.

It would be terrible if it went back to divorces being harder to get. People change, they grow apart, sometimes relationships turn sour and its more then just not putting enough effort in. Sometimes divorce is the right option.
Imagine if your circumstances changed, but divorces were harder to get. How trapped would you feel? Legally you are bound to the one person you need to be away from. What a terrible situation. Can you imagine the stress.....

Don't get me wrong, I think some people get married and realise pretty quick that they made a mistake. But I would rather they do that and have the option of divorce rather then a lifetime bound by a wrong decision.

I disagree with the notion of divorce being too easy. I have never heard of an easy divorce. It appears to be hell for all involved.


I meant that its too easy LEGALLY to get divorced. I am sure that emotionally it is pure hell. sad Believe me, I nearly went there. It wasn't fun at all. sad


I meant that its too easy LEGALLY to get divorced. I am sure that emotionally it is pure hell. sad Believe me, I nearly went there. It wasn't fun at all. sad


I am sorry you had to go through that.....

but if you are talking in regards to marriage, isn't it the emotional stuff that people would be concerned with. Why should it be harder legally to get divorced if its based on emotion?

IMO, couples are afraid of hard work. The first sign of trouble, or the honeymoon period ends, then suddenly that's it! Rather than fix the issues & probably go on to have a great, lasting marriage, people move on to someone else, where funnily enough, the same issues arise. People think marriage is going to be easy, but it's not. IMO, you need to constantly work on your marriage, if you want it to last that is. I've only been married for 5 years, so I'm still a "newlywed" & there have been challenges along the way, but to me divorce is an absolute last resort, after therapy, counselling, trial separations etc etc.



I agree with this aswell. I think that too many people these days see too many movies/tv shoes with happy endings and think once they get married it will be all peaches and cream. Which is not the case in the real world!!

As the pp says, marriage requires constant work, I don't think it matters what age you get married and I don't think it is just gen x. I know that my aunt has been married 4 times because she is chasing some unreal feeling that may exist in the beginning but doesn't last. She also thinks that once married things will be totally different, which i think is a tad naive.

I got married when I was 25 and we are going strong. Of course we have ups and downs but we always work through our problems.

But in reply to the OP, yes I think divorce is made to easy for people these days!
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