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Should i move back to my hometown? Lock Rss

My partner and i have four kids, aged 12,10,6 and 18mths. dp decided that he would move interstate from vic to tas so that he could change jobs. He said he was going with/without us. My heart wasnt into moving at all. WE lived in a great neighbourhood close to schools etc. kids and i were very happy there. He movcd to tassie when our baby was 3 mths old, I stayed in vic til he was 6 mths and thought it was too hard looking after the kids on my own so we joined him in tas. I thought i owed him to at least give it a try. We have no family/friends over here. he also agreed to a 12 mth trail to see if kids and i like it here. have been here 12 1/2 mths now! Kids and i want to go back home but he refuses to move back. He isnt being very supportive of me visiting my family often and doesnt do much to help out.He sometimes swears at me if i ask for help with the kids. i feel so isolated and depressed.we miss our family terribly and he doesnt seem to care! Dont know if its the best thing for the kids and i to move back without him. any advice would be appreciated.
Hi there.

What was the reason why you didn't want to move? Was it because you are not by your family?

Also, have you tried meeting new people, making new friends? I know it can be hard sometimes, but maybe you could join some mothers group or something?

Was this move because your husbands job was better over there?




Hi there.

What was the reason why you didn't want to move? Was it because you are not by your family?

Also, have you tried meeting new people, making new friends? I know it can be hard sometimes, but maybe you could join some mothers group or something?

Was this move because your husbands job was better over there?
Hi thanks for your reply. I didnt want to move away from family/friends and because i just had a baby i needed that support network. my partners job is better for him now because he was working shift work and he was tired all the time. i have joined a playgroup and a music group but still havent met anyone that i can call a friend. Just feel like we have drifted apart since the job offer came up because that should have been our decision not just his decision. I think i resent him for that.the kids and i are very homesick. im not getting help with the kids which is very hard. WE have the option now to move back to our old house but he wont even consider it.tenants are moving out in oct and he wants to sell the house without my approval, if kids and i dont move back. He works long hours too so he is really only home on the weekends. any advice would be appreciated.
Only you can make a decision about what's right for you and your family..

Doesn't sound like you are very happy tho, so perhaps it might be a good idea to have a bit of a 'trial' moving back to your home?
Seeing as though you never really wanted to move anyway, sounds like you are just going to get more and more resentful about where you're at.

Guess you just have to weigh up the pros and cons of such a move....

Good luck whatever your decision.
Just remember, you and your kids deserve to be happy, so you need to make choices that are going to reflect that.



Only you can make a decision about what's right for you and your family..

Doesn't sound like you are very happy tho, so perhaps it might be a good idea to have a bit of a 'trial' moving back to your home?
Seeing as though you never really wanted to move anyway, sounds like you are just going to get more and more resentful about where you're at.

Guess you just have to weigh up the pros and cons of such a move....

Good luck whatever your decision.
Just remember, you and your kids deserve to be happy, so you need to make choices that are going to reflect that.

HI thanks for your advice. My partner was saying last night that i should go back for a while and see what happens. Just scared that if i leave he will meet someone and wont want us to be together anymore. We have been together for 14 1/2 yrs so its very hard for me to laeve him behind. Even after the nasty things he has said to me lately. Kids over heard him yelling at me and me crying when we thought they were in bed. (the 12,10 yrold) If we move back, im hoping then he will realise that we all belong back home.
Hmmm....A very sticky situation.

Do you think if you leave you will break up with your husband? By moving, are you willing to risk the fact that things my change between you two and it may be that you split?

If the option was that you couldn't move back to your old house, would you still find a way to get a house, or would you settle for where you are now?

I guess in a situation like this you really can't have your cake and eat it too. So, you may have to decide to have a life with your Husband and kids in a town you don't like. OR, moving back to your home town by your family, and potentially losing your husband.

Not the most nicest of positions to be in. But you do really need to decide. Happy mum means happy babies remember. And if hubby can't see that then maybe it might be better if you did move back?



By the sounds of it the kids are worried about you - and how hes treating you
How is it fair that you take the full brunt of his stubborness.? He didnt consult you about moving he made the desiciion on his own acts like he enjoys being alone and not having the responsibility of raising a family.

You have paid a high price for trying to make it work and it seems like bending over backwards performing circus tricks and various other things just isnt enough to please this guy then ontop of that is threatening to sell the house it seems like hes trying to trap you there with him because hes worried about loosing you.

As for the finding someone else thing - only time will tell and if you are happy surrounded by family and friends back home whats to say you cant do it again. You are a person to and its time you put your needs first in order to put your best foot forward and whats best for the kids.

Have a talk to them individually about how they feel and what they want and see how they feel about moving back and living seperately again.. if they are all for it then you already have kiddies who will back you and their support when you feel vunerable .. i think we both know you have made up your mind about whats best go for it
Only u know what is best .... let us know what u end up doing tho.





Hmmm....A very sticky situation.

Do you think if you leave you will break up with your husband? By moving, are you willing to risk the fact that things my change between you two and it may be that you split?

If the option was that you couldn't move back to your old house, would you still find a way to get a house, or would you settle for where you are now?

I guess in a situation like this you really can't have your cake and eat it too. So, you may have to decide to have a life with your Husband and kids in a town you don't like. OR, moving back to your home town by your family, and potentially losing your husband.

Not the most nicest of positions to be in. But you do really need to decide. Happy mum means happy babies remember. And if hubby can't see that then maybe it might be better if you did move back?
hi Im not sure what it will mean for us if i do move, i have asked him that and he just said we will see what happens. I think if the house was leased for longer period of time (6 mths) i might have just stayed here a bit longer to see if things improved for us. But i cant get past that he was willing to leave his family for this job. over heard him one night saying to his mate that he would go with or without us. I agree with what you ladies are saying. If he doesn't care about how the kids and i feel then why am i here. Kids are keen to move back home without him so i know they will be happier with family/friends around again. Have to let real estate know my decision tomorrow. ill keep you all posted. thanks so much for all of your advice its really appreciated. smile

hi Im not sure what it will mean for us if i do move, i have asked him that and he just said we will see what happens. I think if the house was leased for longer period of time (6 mths) i might have just stayed here a bit longer to see if things improved for us. But i cant get past that he was willing to leave his family for this job. over heard him one night saying to his mate that he would go with or without us. I agree with what you ladies are saying. If he doesn't care about how the kids and i feel then why am i here. Kids are keen to move back home without him so i know they will be happier with family/friends around again. Have to let real estate know my decision tomorrow. ill keep you all posted. thanks so much for all of your advice its really appreciated. smile

Hi ladies, I have decided not to move back home. I want to give it a bit more to see if dp and i can work things out. Im planning on giving it til xmas if things still arent good then the kids and i will move back with/without him. I did tell him my intentions today. SO we will get more tenants in short term and we can ask them to leave in 14 days so thats reassuring. Thanks again for all of your advice and hopefully i have made the right decision? I think he is lucky im such a forgiving person lol!
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