Huggies Forum

Parents and IL's visitng us Rss

When we lived in the same town as our parents my family would just call in for a cuppa or to drop something off or for a cuddle with DS. But DF's parents (they are divorced and both sets do this) wait to be invited, but I don't remember to invite cos they are welcome anytime. They have been told this!

Now we live in a different town, my family booked tickets and told me they were coming (they checked out when we had stuff on first before Xmas but just booked what suited them), now I am wondering how much effort do I have to put in to get DF's parents to visit.

So my question is, do your parents and IL's call in unannounced, or wait to be invited?




Well I cant say about my parents as my Mum has passed and my Dad is not a part of our lives but my FIL lives with us and my MIL comes to stay every second weekend so not really an issue here.

I would just give your MIL a call and mention how much your DS would love to see them and see what she says?
I did that the other day, well got DF to do it cos he is a bit blunter with getting times, dates, confirmation. But we got a "We will see" from one which we will have to follow up again. The other set is coming to visit, as they already had that holiday planned before we moved here. As for the next visit, that will take more invitations.

What has made me question what others do is that both my parents families are drop in for a cuppa people and the phone is there to keep in touch, regularly. So when my family rings they always ask if DF's parents are coming for a visit, have you heard from them, etc. because my family see them as a part of my life so are being polite and taking an interest. Then I always get a "Oh" response when I say we havn't seen or heard from them.

My family are drop in people even if you are just passing through town on your way somewhere else, you stop in, so I am trying to get used to this different way but not realy understanding it.

Hope that made sense.




Haha, I guess everybody is different... because I would be super annoyed if my in-laws turned up unannounced! I'm fine if they ring first and say "Can we stop in for a cuppa in about half an hour?".. but I wouldn't appreciate them just turning up on the doorstep. Perhaps your in-laws feel more comfortable being invited? Set yourself a phone reminder every now and then to give them a call and invite them over! Hopefully you get to see more of them that way. Good luck!
My mum waits to be invited and so does mil & fil. Now sil & bil use to just drop in when they felt like it but hubby has told them to ring first to make sure we are home. My brother comes when my mum comes over.




my IL's SIL's too just stop over whenever they are passing and feel like it

my dad waits to be invited and i dont go to his place unless invited

my mum isn't welcome cause i dont speak to her
No one drops in here unless invited as we live 45 mins away from everyone (my family and IL) and they don't want to drive all that way for nothing lol

However, I do prefer a phone call just so I can tidy the house/ put a bra on laugh







I hate ANYONE dropping in unannounced (unless its for a very important reason or you are my mum or dad), i think its very rude. My SIL loves doing it and it drives me nuts, I'm in the process of training her to call first. If my PIL rocked up without asking atleast 24 hours before I would be super cranky.








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

I'm not sure what you can do except what a PP said, by calling them regularly and inviting them over. I guess its hard on your part because you obviously don't mind so getting through to them they can call in any time is a bit difficult. Maybe keep calling them and they might get the hint lol

Mine call before coming. I ask them to because bub is a terribly light sleeper, and once she's asleep I like her to be that way for as long as possible(usually only 1/2 hr!). We have a little foxi x jack russell and she barks the house down when people come to the door <img src='https://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' /> so bub wakes up...grr




I'm not sure what you can do except what a PP said, by calling them regularly and inviting them over. I guess its hard on your part because you obviously don't mind so getting through to them they can call in any time is a bit difficult. Maybe keep calling them and they might get the hint lol

Mine call before coming. I ask them to because bub is a terribly light sleeper, and once she's asleep I like her to be that way for as long as possible(usually only 1/2 hr!). We have a little foxi x jack russell and she barks the house down when people come to the door so bub wakes up...grr


LOL! We managed to get DS to sleep through this, then our wee lil dog had to be put down, so the neighbour thought she could let her dog out (shared drive) and it would run to out fence (by bubs room) and bark!!! Argh! Needless to say, with my reaction the neighbour and I didn't get on very well!


Thanks everyone. It is interesting to hear most people don't call in unannounced, so maybe I do need to make that extra extra effort to invite them. Now to put it to the test!




My IL's live in Rockhampton so they have to call if they are heading down this way. Same with SIL and her family. Whether we catch up with them is up to us. (Once my IL's had a stop over in Brisbane for an hour on their way to Melbourne and wanted us to meet them at the airport for a visit. I said no since it would take us up to and possibly beyond 2 hours to get there during peak hour. And with a toddler and newborn, not an ideal time to travel.)

My Mum never drops in. We always go to her house which is annoying so I've started reducing our visits in the hope that she'll get the hint and come over here occasionally. Either by just dropping in or arranging a time and day. I've even told her and my sisters that they are welcome whenever they want. They just couldn't be bothered putting in the effort I guess. We do live 10mins away after all, it's such a hike to get here. roll eyes

My Dad is a bit of both. Sometimes he'll call if he's an hour away, other times if he working close by he'll just drop in.

I prefer people to call before, just so I can tidy up the house ad hide the dirty dishes. Lol. But it seems that even though we say 'drop in whenever you want' people still want an invite but then ignore it. Makes no sense. All we can do is keep inviting I guess. :/

Like some of the others I really hate when people just show up... haven't really worked out the 'norm' yet with my IL's, they have been doing a bit of both but I think DP is training them to call first!

My family live far away, but the flights etc they have booked recently they have called me and said 'I'd like to visit at this time does this suit you?' They don't need inviting.

I understand you want them included and want them to feel welcome but you can only do so much I think it should be your partners responsibility to maintain that relationship. I wouldn't stress if it were me smile
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