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how louzy are my inlaws?! Lock Rss

Hi!!!

My inlaws are crappy!!! I dont just mean my mil or fil I mean the WHOLE lot. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins etc.

I give them a bit of credit because apart from mil they live over east, so I dont expect regular visits or anything. But they dont even call! We get cards for birthdays and xmas.... WHOOPEE!! The biggest effort they have made is when two aunts, fil and grandparents came for our wedding and spent TWO days. That was over two years ago. None have seen dd except on fb photos which I only upload for their benefit. When dd was born fil had a two minute convo with dh and his nan rang his mum to congratulate us.

Well I thought we would extend the olive branch to mil and invite them for easter. We haven't seen them since xmas when we went to them. They were meant to come down and bring our xmas presents from them because we dont have a tow ball on our car. It was an outdoor setting and a sandpit. We still dont have those.

Well got a txt this morning. They aren't coming.

They didn't come for dds first birthday, which they only gave notice the night before. The reason was oh we are so tired from our melbourne/ hamilton island holiday. And last time they said they were coming they called the night before and said they couldn't because the car needed a service. THE REAL REASON WAS THEY WANTED TO GO TO BUSSELTON TO USE THEIR FRIENDS BOAT INSTEAD.

I just can't get over how selfish and rude they behave!

I always wanted a united, loving extended family for my kids, doesn't look like thats gonna happen.




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

I know that feeling Hun xxxx
Dps mum is a selfish women so is her mother but Dp has a relationship with his aunts and uncles and pop on his mother side but doesn't see them but there there sort thing.
You can never say you haven't tried hun if there not going to make a effort you don't either and see what happens?
Try not to get upset sweetie I know it's hard but they aren't worth it they sound so selfish what amazes me is how do we get a pretty good men that's spawned from pure selfish mothers!
Hang in there sweetie and brush them off there not worth your thoughts xxx
I know how you feel..
I'm on the other end of the scale my MIL is a control freak and thinks that she can have a say in everything including how we raise OUR children!! At the end of the day it really is your inlaws who are missing out in being apart of your lives. I hope it gets better for you soon xxx

You have tried and now the ball is in their court.

It sad that they don't want to be in your kids lives.

Sending you a hug.




Thanks guys! I try not to let ot effect me but its so hard because not only does it effect my dd but also my dh. He was so upset when there was no one from his family at dds first birthday. And he gets hurt bytheir obvious uncaring all the time.

Both his parents have kids with their new partners and they spoil them.mil has bought each of the other kids a car and fil takes his on holidays when they are in mid twenties and able to find their own holidays. For dhs last birthday he got a phone call from his mum and a card from his dad. Its so sad.

At least dh tries really hard to be the opposite. He is very protective of dd and even though number two isn't even born he guards my tummy from EVERYTHING lol. He asked me if I wanted the steering wheel adjusted the other day. I said no, why? He said oh I just thought it would be safer for the baby. Lol




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

Big hugs!

DH's family are the same.
I suddenly realised one day - the only time we ever see them is when we go to them. The only reason any of them saw DD1 when she was born is because we happened to go to a family dinner the next week.
His aunty always makes an excuse to get out of coming to DD's birthdays, and didn't even bother to let us know she wasnt coming.
I don't plan on inviting them anymore!

It makes me sad for DH, we've done nothing to them and because of MIL they have wiped us.

Theres more to family than being blood related, none of the people i consider to be family are actually related to us.
I've started another thread called "advice please! Inlaws" because dh has seen on his step sisters fb that they are going to busselton instead of here!

There is no difference in distance!

Im asking people if we should ask mil why they dont want to come.


Jb85 im starting to think they are a waste of time. I cannot think of anything we have done to deserve this treatment. I always send them updates and photos of dd. And its like they dont care.
Im so angry because it hurts my dh who also hasn't done anything wrong. sad




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

I'd stop sending updates and photos, if they ask why you haven't sent photos, it may lead to a conversation about why they don't bother.

I used to give MIL lots of photos of DD until she said one day, 'i've got these photos' how about thank you?! (and she didnt have them as they had only been taken a few days before and she hadn't seen DD for a month!)

I used to think DH's family were so nice and normal - they make mine look like the brady bunch!
Well I spoke to dh about it tonight. He said he doesn't want to say anything because his mother is the sort of person to start an all out screaming match and hold a grudge fir the rest of his life. (Which is true - she wouldn't speak to either of us gor three weeks because we changed our wedding venue.)

I told him that really if she was to stop talking to us altogether it wouldn't be any different to now.

I said to him this is the last straw for me. I said I dont mind talking it out with the in laws myself if it comes to that. But I will not allow this to happen again I said this is the second time they've dropped us for someone else and the third time they've hurt dh in less than 12 months. I said I will leave it up to him this last time but one more incident and ill be taking it into my own hands.

Im not sure if I was too harsh by giving this ultimatum? Im just not one to ne walked all over or to allow anyone to the people I love. Do you think I over stepped the mark??


** on a side note I know they aren't bad people and we could do alot worse. But id like to get the negativity out of my life iykwim?




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

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