Huggies Forum

I did it. Lock Rss

Good on you for taking that step. Hopefully it is enough of a wakeup call for him to change his ways.

Good luck and *HUGS*.

"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

Well done for being brave and saying that things are not good enough. I sincerely hope he steps up and sees what he might lose

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Good luck hun xx good on you for showing him you mean business. Hope he steps up now.

ProudToBeAMummy wrote:
My pastor just rang me and told me he is glad I left. I have run out of tears for him and had two panick attacks today but I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Comments you've made in the past have concerned me about the lack of support you've received from him. I am happy that you have the support of your pastor and hopefully church community so you can stay strong in your decision and have people to fall back on in this time. Agree with Jas, set your standards high and accept nothing less if he wants to come back

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ProudToBeAMummy wrote:
Thanks ladies for your support. I am just really worried that he isnt going to look after himself, i know I shouldnt I dont want him to hurt himself.

Just because you left, doesn't mean you don't still care about him and it's completely understandable too. As the others have said, just make sure that he changes his ways and treats you like you deserve to be treated if you decide to take him back. Good luck with everything and I'm glad your pastor supports you smile
He may benefit from this time apart from you - to learn how to look after himself and not be so dependent on having someone to take care of him. Ultimately though, you need to look out for yourself and your child and he is a grown up so should be able to fend for himself - that is not something you need to be worrying about.

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I am glad you are putting yourself & your bub first so hopefully your DH will make a change smile Best of luck with it all hun xx
If he can't stand on his two feet and look after himself he's not up to looking after his family. You can't help someone that won't help themselves. You've done the right thing. I just hope he's able to look within and prove everybody wrong. Good luck xx

ProudToBeAMummy wrote:
Thanks ladies. The mil just informed me that dh was unofficialy diagnosed with Asperger's. And they had him in occupational therapy.

Wow and your just finding out now?! What age did they stop occupational therapy? And he's never spoke of it? You can understand this being a barrier for him in life, but how can you help and support him if you were never told?

ProudToBeAMummy wrote:
Thanks ladies. The mil just informed me that dh was unofficialy diagnosed with Asperger's. And they had him in occupational therapy.

Oh no, I knew I should have said something earlier :/

Your partner's problems sounds so much like several other men I know who have Asperger's (including my partner who meets more criteria than just Asperger's).

I'm not sure myself whether leaving him was the best thing - I have a lot of experience with ASD young adults, and they sometimes just aren't capable of doing what is expected of them. I'm not saying put up with crap, but maybe you just didn't know how to help him and took that as he didn't want to take what you offered. Either way, please do stay in touch. He sounds like he needs help and unlike NT people, autistic people don't just "snap out of it".

He would need to see someone who knows specifically about autism. I could find out for your city if you need it at all.

I'm sorry I didn't say something earlier when I suspected that sad
My husband has Aspergers. It sometimes feels like i'm looking after three children not two! He can't help the way he is but it does make it very difficult. I wonder why you were never told?

Tony Attwood is an expert and is world renowned for his knowledge about AS (Asperger Syndrome).

There are lots of things online about Asperger's. There is a big FB page called Asperger Syndrome Awareness. There is also a page called - the girl with the curly hair. The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. ThAutcast. Through those, you would be able to find more. Many autistic people write about their experiences, in blogs and in magazines and in forums.

The best thing IMO would be for him to research it himself. I really think that when you are able to understand yourself and why you feel the way you feel about things, why things are so hard for you that are easy for others (usually, autistic people spend their whole lives being told "why can't you do that? Of course you can do that, you are just lazy/rude/can't be bothered" etc) - once you know WHY and that it is not your fault - it is much easier to tackle problems and approach things differently.

It doesn't sound like his mum did much to help him, and I personally would not trust her advice about it. If she knew about it, she should have done more and at least informed him about it. It's kind of a big deal! lol
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