I'm assuming here that talking to him is not necessarily a good way to communicate effectively. It is really common for autistic people to not be able to process verbal input properly and at the same speed as NT people. Having Asperger's is definitely a valid "excuse" for finding things hard. It is pervasive and sounds like he didn't get the help he needed.
Instead of just assuming he doesn't care, is lazy etc, ask him WHY he finds it hard, ask him to think of ways to communicate better, let him explain to you how you can improve your relationship. You can't put assumptions of how things like conversations, decision making and discussion, should be, onto him. He is different neurologically and so everything you take as normal and unspoken - may not be that way for him. Both of you can have input into how things can get worked out.
I'm assuming your "excuse" comment was directed at my post. I'm not sure you took it the way meant it smile
There is no denying that having Aspergers is going to make things harder for him. However it is not an excuse to be lazy or not spend time with his DS. There is a difference between finding things difficult to cope with and pure laziness. I am not saying that everything he was/wasn't doing stems from laziness, but some of it probably does.
A big problem is attitude. If he can have the attitude that he wants to get through this he will be able to do some things that he finds difficult. But if he has a negative attitude he will find it much more difficult to overcome those things. Obviously if he didn't know he had it that adds another hurdle.
And I know what I'm talking about - my brother has Aspergers wink