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Life after breakup Lock Rss

Ok so my DF and I just broke up last weekend after 6 years of being together. We got together when I was 21 we were pregnant by the time I was 22 had a second when I was 24 and now im 27 and single. He has moved to melbourne for a while for work so im in a position that is completely unknown to me. My DF was always more domesticated than me. Not that im completely inept in that area but it was just something that he was better at. He was 14 years older than me and had had periods in his life when he had lived alone and had to look after his other kids by himself.

So now im in a 4 bedroom house with my two girls plus I also decided that I was to keep the business we had together and im just finding it impossible to keep everything going. Before I met DF I had only lived out of home for a bit and that was in a sharehouse situation where cleaning etc didnt really take priority. I feel like the house is a pigsty that resembles a laundromat. Plus I even feel like my ideas of making sure my kids are eating and drinking healthy options are going by the wayside because im feeling so overwhelmed. DF always did the cooking and although im not uncapable just fitting it in is a chore.

Plus along with everything everyone id expecting me to fall into a pile. The truth is a feel stronger now than I have in the last six years. I just dont know how im going to be able to fit in all of the household chores along with trying to run a business and making sure my beautiful girls have everythinf they need.

I guess im just wanting to hear that somebody has been in the same situation and come out the other side.
I haven't been in the same situation as you but have struggled with depression where keeping the house clean and cooking meals was just completely overwhelming for me. What I found works best for me when I'm overwhelmed is to break cleaning the house down into daily jobs. It means that each room is cleaned once a week, although the whole house is never fully 'clean' at the same time, but at least I feel like I'm doing something. For me it's something like : Monday - Our bedroom and ensuite, Tuesday - 3 kid's bedrooms, Wednesday - kid's bathroom and toilet, Thursday - Lounge, dining, study, Friday - Kitchen and playroom. I also find it helps to have a day a fortnight where I do a bulk cook up and then freeze meals so that when I can't face making a meal I have healthy meals I can just reheat to serve. I try to have it the day after I shop, so shop Friday, cooking day Saturday (also why my kitchen is cleaned on a Friday - it is all clean for me to make a mess in the next day tongue ).

I don't know if this will work in your situation but might be something worth considering.

I also broke up with my husband, when I had a 4yo, 3yo & 2month old. I didn't miss anything as he didn't really do anything per se. However since then I have just run my house as usual.

Do you need the big house? Soon the kids will be at school, and the amount of time spent in the house will get shorter and shorter. I live in my mum and dad's in two rooms with my three kids. The de-cluttering and downsizing of 'stuff' was actually quite cathartic. Smaller spaces are easier to clean and tidy.

I don't iron (hardly ever anyways), I always do loads when the hamper is full. I hang everything, then just hang it in the cupboard. I have a big pole put up in the laundry for hangers, and to dry when it's wet. I always dry in the dryer overnight as the power is cheaper. I rotate the big stuff, beds, towels into a cleaning routine as others have said.

I also have a shopping/cooking schedule. I do a menu for the week. Only 5 days though as flexibility and takeout needs to be worked in. I 'shop' in my pantry and freezer before writing my list. I go to aldi, then either Coles or safe ways to get the stuff on special or that aldis doesn't have. I don't buy unhealthy stuff much. It's a trEat if we have lemonade or juice and I don't have them in my house. Same goes for chocolate salty snacks. I love to cook, but also have fuss pot kids that don't eat a lot... Things like on Mondays, we all go straight from school to auskick and don't get home till 5.20ish. We have roast (chuck it all in the oven), slow cooker (stew, corned beef with veg chucked in, etc...). Other quick melas for me is grilled meat, salad in wraps, apricot chicken & rice, fried rice, meat on a stick & salad/veg, can even put the veg in between the meat, meal in one, rice paper rolls, schnitzel & veg/ salad. Lasagne, spaghetti Bol, shepherds pie, sausage rolls, etc can have tons of veg hidden in. Always make big batches and freeze. We have a vege garden the kids love to potter around in. They eat carrots and peas right out of the ground (washed of course), we put beetroot, zucchini, squash, pumpkin, etc .. In chocolate brownies and cake. Keeps it moist, and they're getting homegrown organic veg into them with a treat too.

Get the kids to start taking a bit more responsibility too. You guys are on your own now, you need the help. Clothes go in the hamper, dishes go in the sink, brush teeth, get dressed, etc...

Also, who cares if the house is a bit messy? Say yes to help if offered. Research organization techniques, etc... To help you. There are a lot of brilliant blogs by ladies that can help and may suit you.

Good luck, working and keeping children and a home is hard. Good on you for wanting to be the best you can be for your kids.
Thank you very much for your replies. I really appreciate you sharing your ideas with me. I think that some of them could definitely work for me especially breaking down the cleaning jobs and freezing meals. Best of all its good to just have somebody to listen tongue
Something I forgot before, with the cleaning of the different rooms each day, I give myself a set time limit to get it done, normally about 30 min, so that I don't procrastinate/get side tracked. I figure that since I'm only doing a couple of rooms each day it doesn't need to be a huge amount of time out of my day. I also have a rule that if it isn't done by ... (mine is lunch time) it can wait until next week. That way if something unexpected comes up like a dr's visit etc I'm not stressing about getting home and cleaning the rooms that 'should' be done that day and I just try to make sure I'm not out the same day the next week smile

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