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Relationship problems Lock Rss

I've been with my partner for about 7 years and we have 2 beautiful children together. Unfortunately its been a difficult relationship having our first child very early on in our relationship and when he was only 20 and I was 22. My partner suffered physical abuse from his stepfather as a child and he pushed me around occasionally when we had arguments and had major temper outbursts. I slowly learned over the years how to avoid arguments and walked away when things began to escalate so we had several years with no angry outbursts. To cut a long story short, I wanted to get married but this was not what he had in mind, and although I was disappointed I accepted it. We started to really fall apart last year when I was having difficulty juggling university, shift work and our two children, as well as him wanting to buy a house with assistance from his mum and stepdad. I found myself getting closer to a male friend who I had no physical relations with but gave me support on an emotional level. I was ready to leave my partner, thinking maybe some time by myself before pursuing another relationship may be beneficial. I quickly realised that he and his mother would do their utmost to make this a difficult process, and possibly hurting the children, so I stayed. Later on in the year, after a night out I met my male friend again, and we hung out. I stayed at his place and although nothing physical happened, I told my partner where I was and profusely apologised. later that night he physically threw me up against the wall whilst holding our one year old, leaving my arm bruised, and me terrified that our toddler was going to get hurt. There are other non-physical outbursts that he hasn't been able to control his temper which some family and friends have also witnessed. After all this I am still here, and he is making such an effort to be a better partner and try to make up for the hurt. We are even about to go to counselling. I'm so confused though, and feel so sad when I see other couples getting engaged and buying property etc. I'm working towards a future for our kids and he doesn't seem to be able to take any steps in a forward direction. Do I accept that there are some things that my partner can't provide for me emotionally and try to make more of an effort, or do I leave and hope I eventually meet someone that can meet my emotional needs?

Sorry for such a long post.

Leave! Leave now. Find somewhere safe to go. He is poison. Get the kids away from him

You need to get as far away from this man as possible. If not for yourself think about the safety if your 2 children.
Whatever you decide, you have to make sure that you and your kids are safe. Ideally you also want your kids to grow up knowing what a normal, safe husband/wife/partner relationship looks like - not to accept domestic violence as normal. You should not have to live in fear, especially not of your partner. Think about how growing up in this home situation will affect your kids. If you've tried fixing the relationship and nothing changed, I would seriously be considering other options. Good luck, take care & we're always here if need be x
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