Huggies Forum

Friends going wierd? Rss

I was wondering if anyone else has the same or similar problem to mine.
I've been friends with this girl for almost 12 years and just since I've had my son she's gone funny.
Its not the fact that I've had a baby as she has 2 girls of her own aged 3 and 19 months.
We used to speak regularly, but now its very rare, and usually if I ring her. When we do speak I feel as though she deliberately tries to get me in a bad mood, which annoys me so much that I get in a bad mood (but she doesn't know that as I don't let her see it).
To top things off she was even late (showed up about 5-10 minutes before it all finished) to my son's christening as they were paving their driveway. No apologies or made up excuses, and they didn't even say anything to us it was my uncle who told me why. Plus when we went to her house a few days later for tea and they blatantly pointed out their paving and asked me what I thought of it, I didn't dignify them with a response.
I've come to a few reasons as to why I think she's gone off her tree.
1. I had a boy as she has 2 girls.
2. She wasn't asked to be a godparent (we aren't to her kids but thats not why she wasn't chosen).
3. He's a good baby and I don't run to her for advice (I run to you guys).
4. My husband helps out heaps, whereas hers doesn't.
My sister-in-law thought she might be jealous of me but I don't think I have anything to be jealous of.
Has anyone got a similar situation or is it just me?
Let me know what you think
Kristy

member since 2004

if she treats every one like that she will no hve any friends soon . people are strange . find new friends

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

I'm not sur if she treats everyone like that but I feel like I've been friends with her for so long that I don't want ot throw it away. But at the same time I do find myself limiting or reducing the amount of time I spend with her or talk to her. She actually doesn't have many friends so I'm thinking she's treated them in a similar way.

member since 2004

It sounds like she might be jealous - people can get weird and not realise that their life is great already - maybe she feels like your life is going really well and can't see that her life is fine - or maybe her life does suck and she wishes she had your life???

if she starts trying to make herself look like you - run away - fast - smile

Steph

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

Thanks Stephanie,
You put a smile on my face and really made me laugh.
Now that I think about it I do think she's jealous, but the strange thing is I have a few things that I'm jealous of her about but its never been an issue with me. But I don't have grren eyes to become a monster.
She's always been skinny, didn't have a problem losing baby weight, even though she eats junk food all the time. She's a lot better at sport than me, her husband has a sponsor so his costs are subsidised, whereas we have to pay for everything ourselves (our husbands both race BMX bikes).
I will run fast if she starts to try and look like me, its funny that I never thought that my life was that great until I sat down and tried to work out why she's flipped her lid.
I have a beautiful baby boy, a loving and helpful husband, a great house, a nice car, a good job, and on the most part a great mix of loving family and friends.
Life is good.
Kristy

member since 2004

Hi Chukkas

I had the same problem with a friend I had been friends for 12 years she was Godmother to my son & her hubby Godfather to my daughter (not any more) She stopped ringing & when I rang her she was short with me so I gave up trying to please her as I have plenty of other friends so I don't need that sort of stress I find that I had to tread on egg shells around her in the end.
I stopped calling her & she never rang me & that was last July I was upset in the beginning now i'm more peed off.
Don't let your friend play with you head she is not worth it! Just concentrate on the friends who are true friends.

Good Luck


Bec
Hi Chukkas,

It certainly does sound like jealousy. I'm thinking she sounds like a pretty ordinary friend at the moment so you probably won't bother with her soon. Seeing as it's got to that stage you would have nothing to lose by being direct and asking her straight out what her problem is. And let her know that you are disappointed about her tardiness just because she was paving her stupid driveway. If she doesn't come up with any good excuses then you know it's jealousy.

By the way, it's nice to know that you have reflected back on your life and are enjoying and appreciating it. At least that's one good thing she's done for you lately!

Good luck and don't be shy about asking her what is wrong- remember to say to yourself, "i've got nothing to lose" because at this stage you really don't.

bubsy32

she is just so not worth it! You don't need people like this in your life dragging you down, sorry to sound harsh but been there, you prob won't get an honest answer if you ask her what her problem is but i would ask her anyway just to make a point.

mum of 1

I had a friend for 14 years who had a domineering husband (mind you, they accused my husband, who is very supportive of me, of being domineering????!!!). They no longer contact us because of a disagreement they had with my mother and as far as they were concerned, they did no wrong at all and the sun shone out of their you-know-where. Now I have no time for her anymore and have refocussed my efforts on the friends that do care.

Angela, NSW

Thanks everyone for their advice.
Being as stubborn as I am I haven't called her and am waiting for her to do so, Its been almost 2 weeks and I think I've actually been a lot nicer person for it. The only problem I have is that we share a lot of the same friends plus our husbands are friends so confronting her may not be the best idea, as I'd still have to see her at BMX racing which is almost every week.
Plus I actually don't think I could do it without getting upset and I don't want to let her see or know that its gotten to me. I'd rather she didn't get that satisfaction. I also think I've let her walk all over me for too long I don't think I would be nice at all.
I have plenty of other wonderful friends that may not have been my friend for that long but I know that they're there for me whenever I need them. I've even left Liam with some of them to go out ( I haven't left him with her).
Sorry about the long posts, but the situation just irks me. Oh I could go on about this for ages, but I won't as she's not worth the RSI I'd get. *lol*
Take care all you lovely mummies.
Kristy

member since 2004

Try asking her what exactly is she angry or jealous of you for, and if she wont deliver, tell her she is upseting you and you would don't know why she is treating you this way. Make sure that you direct your comments towards you like" I feel" or "when you do this "I " . Friends are funny I had friends that just outed on me just like this, but before any relationships or kids, I think that sometimes we all head off on different paths and wether we like it or not we may loose friends this way. Maybe this is what is happening. A friend once told me that we go through different stages of our lives and sometimes this looses friends. So find a new friend if she can't answer you. If she isn't interested in what you feel. Maybe she isn't the friend you need. When I say this I have only one couple my hubbi and I know, and we have lost friends this way too. So I speak with the knowledge of this experience. If you loose your friend no matter how you try to fix the situation, I am deeply sorry, I empathize with you. Good luck. Mrs. L. Commins.

Mrs. L Commins

I will always see this woman as her husband is good friends with mine and they both compete in the same sport. I have just distanced myself from her and made new friends, I see her at sporting events but rarely any other time.
It does irk me though that she can travel to her sisters house all the time, which is in the same suburb as me, and never comes to my house or even call and ask me to join them. Or she makes plans to take her kids swimming with her sister but excludes myself and my son (who actually takes swimming lessons and loves it).
But really and truthfully I'm beyond caring anymore as it takes up too much energy.
Kristy

member since 2004

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