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What would you do? Rss

Hi Guys i need your opinion on this one. I enrolled my son in soccer. (i discussed it with my husband initially and he was against the idea) i still went ahead and did it. Now my husband is very angry with me that i went and enrolled him in behind his back. I keep asking him why our son should not be in soccer and he keeps saying it's not the soccer its the principle that you went behind my back and erooled him. I would like to know what other mum would do in a situation like whereby they would want their son to do a sporting activity (which you know he would absolutly enjoy) yet your husband forbids you. How do you resolve it?

thanks

Caroline Springs

I guess you need to find out why he doesn't want him playing soccer. I also think he has every right to be angry since you went and did it anyway. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?
I can see why he has the dirts for you doing that. But did he explain why he doesn't like the soccer playing in full? If he hasn't, or won't, I don't think its unreasonable that you are mad that he won't communicate.

I think you need to have a pow-pow and lay it all out on the table. But most of all - does your son actually want to play? That would be the major thing to consider (to me anyway). Good luck.
Well I don't think I would've gone behind his back about it. If it was something I really wanted my DS to do then I would've told DH to his face that I'm doing it so get over it. But what are you DH's reasons for not wanting your DS to do soccer? Could you have chosen a different sport that your DH would've been happy with?
Rowena
P.S. This is the same as in your other post, sorry didn't see there was 2!

I can understand him being shirty that you went and enrolled your son against his wishes, but IMHO I would do what my child wanted. Maybe have a chat with him to ascertain his reasonings as to why he is so against your son playing soccer. Personally I think if the child is wanting to play a sport then I would encourage them but it needs to be a family decision.
my DH would have the poops with me too if i went and did that against his wishes.

my DH doesnt want our kids playing soccer either he wants them to play footy.

maybe its not that he doesnt want him playing sport maybe its just soccer he doesnt want him to play.
I would have to agree. I would never go behind my DH's back and do something he has made it very clear he is not happy with and I think your DH has every right to be angry with you. I think you need to sit down with him and have a good talk about what his objections are and make it clear what your motivations are. It may well be that his parents pushed him into activities he was not interested in and didn't respect his wishes as a child and he just doesn't want that for his son. At which point you need to make him some assurances that you will not be a "soccer mum" and will not pressure you son. Basically you need to communicate with each other and reach an agreement rather than going behind his back and I would be taking your son out of soccer until you work through things. He's only 3 so there is plenty of time to get him into sport once you and your Hubby reach an agreement.
Hi thanks for your opinion. Just like to add that my husbands takes our son to every soccer game in Melbourne (Melbourne victory) and they both have a great time. Our son is three, but this club is catered for three year old (soca time joeys) i have heard great revies about them. My husband agreed to join in the soccer but when he found out that it was held on Saturdays he changed his mind as he wants to go aways on weekends. (At the moment he still works every saturday).
I told him we can still go away after.

How do you resolve a problem when it concerns your children whereby you want them to do a sport (that you know they will love) and your husband is so pig headed and stubborn (that when no mena s no), My kids are young and i hate to see what will happen in the future when they fet older!

Caroline Springs

i think thats a stupid reason for your DH not to want him doing sports.

nothing is better for kids than phisical activities, he need to think of your son rather than himself.
That's true, but I think it is so important that parents remain united in their kids eyes as they are the masters of 'divide and conquer' without mum going behind dad's back and doing something that he clearly doesn't want you to do.
I can see why your husband is angry, I don't think its a great idea to go behind is back.

But on the other hand, I would be extremely p.issed if my husband was only thinking about himself (ie wanting to go away on weekends), and not the good of my son.

But still, I think it would have been better to sit down and explain why your son would love soccer etc etc, and why it is good for him to have a sporting activity. (This is all based on your son WANTING to actually play of course.)

Maybe you'll both have to sit down and havea chat, apologise to him etc and explain WHY you did it.

I basically agree with what the other ladies have said in regards to going behind your hubby's back. HOWEVER, you mentioned he has a "no means no" policy.. I'm sorry - is your marriage a dictatorship???? It's not all about your hubby and whats good or convenient for him, it's about providing your children with the opportunities life has to offer so that they can lead a happy and fulfilling childhood. What's done is done now though, if he doesn't want to be a part of it, then he can go away on weekends by himself.
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