Huggies Forum

regarding my post yesterday Lock Rss

last night was crap for me to put it nicely. i didn't get to read any of the responces to the post i made about birth mums as i had to go out. when i came on later it had been removed and i had a few pm's regarding it. some of the pms wer supportive but a few were not andi got really upset with those ones. i made that post to express my FEELINGS about wether i should try and locate my birth mum, its my birthday soon and i always get emotional around this time, as i said in the post i can't talk about it with my family, so i expressed what i felt on here. i never meant to start a huge debate about adoption and i am sorry that thaot is what happened.
to the people who sent me kind pm's and messages i thank you and to the people who didn't all i can say is plese respect the feelings of others when youdon't know what the whole situation is.

Gee it wouldnt be hard to guess who sent you a nasty PM. Dont worry about her, she only sees black and white. You were not the only on she upset, hugs
[Edited on 27/03/2008 by Huggies Moderator]
Darl Im assuming you mean the adoption thread??? Some members well one in particular thought it was her right to judge women that give their child/ren up for adoption. The replies to this person and her subsequent posts became nasty. The rest of the thread was very supportive towards you and your decision to contact your biological parents.
You have every right to raise the issue. I hope that you receive the support and care that you deserve. If anyone has a problem with your posts or threads then they can, quite simply, choose not to read them. PM me if you need to discuss it, I will not pass judgement on your feelings or situation.
I know this must be such a hard decision for you, I personally think you should try and locate her. At the same time her current family might not know about you and it might cause problems. Its such a horrible situation for you to be in. I think its your right to want to see your birth mother.
Thats just my 2c

HI, hope things work out for you, i'm not sure what i would do..But its a shame your family dont want to help you look for your birth mum...
Goodluck with the choice you make...Leah
Some people are just cows.
Try not to let them bother you!


[Edited on 27/03/2008]

dont worry about the people who send out negative PM's they arent worth your time darl!!!

I say go for it sweets, If you ever need to talk im only a PM away
[Edited on 27/03/2008]
Stephanea, The adoptive mother has known from the minute she adopted the OP the chance of OP wanting to know/ meet OP's birth mother was high. Unfortunately it comes with the territory. By wanting to find a few things isnt going to hurt her mother, Her adoptive mother knows she is her mum she raised her she loves her she knows she cant and more then likely WONT be replaced.

We all have ideas about what our biological parents would be like! But you have to think about it. The OP would be going through so much heartache and just curiosity now that she is a mother herself. For instance do the OP's children look like the OP's biological parents. Its such a hard decision and i think that with time and ALOT of support this can happen especially if it is what the OP wants.
Posted by: Stephanea
I didn't get a chance to read that post sorry. But - most posts have the tendancy to go WAY off track. And seeing as you mentioned adoption in your post...i am assuming some people just took it and ran with it. They probabley only read the 'adoption' part and not what you were saying about it.

You have every right to want to find your birth mother. But is it worth the hurt it will cause to your mother who actually raised you? She is more your mother than whoever actually gave birth to you. TBH - i think you'd be happier NOT finding out who she is. I'm sure you have ideas and fantasies in your head about her being a good person, etc, and you'd be heartbroken if you were to find out she wasn't, and that every ideal you had about her was false. You'd be shattered. I'd PERSONALLY just rather live with the ideals of her in my head, than be shot down.

Speaking from experience i found it better knowing then the unknown.

Unfortunately i left my run to late and my father had passed before i found him but i have found grandparents aunts and cousins.

at least when faced with FACT you can learn to deal with it.

i''''m baking a baby

I didnt find out until i was 11 that my birth mum had died when i 5 1/2 months old and the woman who i thought was my mother wasnt. So while i cant understand your situation totally i certainly understand your feelings.

When i was told about it i ended up saying something about it at school the next day and i was told not to talk about it again. so there wre many many questions that were never and have never been answered. I always had felt there wasnt someone quite right and that something was missing from my life even before i found out the truth. I have since met up with the rest of my family, but there are so many secrets i dont feel that i will ever know the truth. My Dad is the one with alot of the secrets and he will never tell them.

It has taken a while but im slowly making peace with the fact that i will know so little. And i am blessed with having a new mum and loving family.

Its sounds like it is something that you want to do, and probably feel that you need to do. There maybe conciquences but you will need to weigh up whether your need to know is worth the risk of being hurt. And i guess if you go in expecting the worst you cant be disappointed (if that makes sence)

I hope that helps a bit, and good luck
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