Just after some advice please...

Hi all,

I received news yesterday morning that my SIL's brother committed suicide the night before. He did have a lot of problems and i guess he thought this the only way out.

My problem is i have no idea what to say to my SIL and it doesn't help that i am over 200kms away. The only things i have heard about this guy aren't good ones but i still want to be there for her and my gorgeous 3mth old niece.

I haven't spoken to her yet as they only found out ysterday morning and have spent most of the day with her family but when i do speak to her i don't want to say something stupid or what may appear thoughtless but actually isn't IYKWIM.

We were also going to put a notice in the paper but i have no idea what to say once again....

Any help would be greatly appreciated, TIA

Nicole

Hi Nicole!
What sad news! I am so sorry!
I have a rule that if you don't know what to say don't say anything. Let your SIL talk to you, cry if she wants. I think it is the fact that someone is there willing to listen that helps, especially if they feel they don't have to use any pretence that everything is hunk-dory! (IykwIm)

As for a notice in the paper I can't help you really. Not knowing you or your relationships makes it hard.
A suggestion is his name, condolences to his family (names?) Sadly missed by everyone. then your names. Does that help?
I hope so!
I am sorry again for your sad news!
Mwa,
Bec

I'm sorry for your families loss.

most important thing - be honest. Tell SIL that you are sorry, but you dont know what to say or do. If she needs anything, please ask, and you will do what you can to help - even if it is only to listen on the other end of the phone.
Ask her if she wants your company - and be respectful if she says no.



As for the death notice for the paper.

Surname - given name
Deepest sympathy to SIL and family on the loss of ______
He may be gone but never forgotten.
- your names


It doesn't have to be a work of art - just a simple note to let them know you care. You may be able to get some guidelines from other notices in the paper - we did that when dad died.

Sorry again for your loss.

just be honest and say you just heard the awful news and you are at a loss in what to say but that she is in your thoughts. ask is there anything you could do just be for the family and cry with them( my cousin did the same some time ago and it was enough for my aunt to have someone around to share thoughts and memories with)