My mother took off when I about 18 months old with another bloke leaving me, my brother and my sister with our dad. Have not really had any further contact with her - a few holidays as a child here and then.
When I was 3 Dad started seeing another woman who he married when I was 6. She had 3 children off her own. However this woman was the nastiest piece of work - however this nasty side was only ever directed at myself, my sister and my brother, never her own children. She was so nasty that I have decided to not let her anywhere near my child when he is born as I do not trust her.
Which brings me to my point: what if I end up treating my child the way she treated us? I could never imagine up and leaving a child (let alone 3) like my mother did and have vowed and declared till i am blue in the face that I will never, ever treat my child the way my step-mother treated us. But what if I do?
I just want to be a good mother and bring my child up in house full of love,not one that is ruled with fear as the house i grew up in was. But yet, I am scared of being over indulgent due to this.
How do I find even ground? PLease help me lay fears to rest.