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Taking 2 year old to a funeral Lock Rss

My FIL passed away on wednesday nite suddenly.

DH wants to take our 2 yr old so she can say goodbye to Pa.

Has anyone else had a close family member pass away and taken the kids to the funeral?

Are we doing the right thing?

Any advice would be appreciated.


Bianca, Emily 7/11/03 Jess 24/3/05 Thomas 12/6/07

In my opinion I do beleive that you are doing the right thing in taking her, there is also something kind of comforting, in seeing a small child at an elderly persons funeral.
(I hope that doesn't sound wrong, I don't mean it to)

I am also sorry for your loss.

Take care xox

22 mths #2 due Sept 06

Hi Bianca,

I cannot offer any advice from personal experience but as far as if you are doing the right thing or not, I think that it is a very personal decision.

Does your 2yo understand what has happened?

One of my VERY VERY dear friends past away last year from Breast cancer and left behind 2 beautiful girls. Her youngest was 3 at the time and the oldest was 5 and they wer both at the funeral and went to the grave after the service also. I don't believe that there was any negative effect on them for the experience (outside the obvious of course).

My DD was still very very young at the time and we took her but she was not aware of anything anyways. She was only 3mths old.

If you are the sort of parent that is honest about "life" with your kids and are not trying to "protect" them from the realities of life (be they the softer sides or harder sides of life) then I think there can be no "harm" done.

You do the right thing for you.

My condolences for your loss.

Take Care.
your husband obviously wants to take her, & that might help him along too through the day. Little people have an amazing way of doing just the right thing at a time of grief.

We've been to a few funerals this year... too many to remember actually how many, and at each of them, there were children there that were younger than 2), one was at the end of Jan & was a close friends husband & her little girl was 11mths old, the other was the same little girls grandpa only a month ago. She was excellent & gave her mum cuddles and kisses at what seemed just the right time.

It's so personal and individual... we took my daughter to my husband's nan's funeral, and it wasn't a bad thing, but I know people who disagreed with the decision.... I think it's nice to say goodbye...

My thoughts are with you at this time....

mAy all yOur wiSheS cOmE trUe...

Hi there,

i am also sorry for your loss.

this is quiet a sad topic sad

i just wanted to add though, my parents never beleived that funerals were a place for children. so when my grandpa, great pop, great grandma and nan all died, we were never allowed to go to the funerals and say goodbye. when my pop died i was only about 5, and dont remember it very well. nan, grandpa and great grandma all died when i was about 11 - 13. anyway, i now feel like i never got to really say good bye to them. and to this day i wish i had been able to go. even if just to hear all the nice things people had to say about them. and listen to all the stories and memories everyone had of them. and even though i may not remember the funerals, i think it would be comforting to know i got to go and say good bye.

of course, it is your choice whether you allow children to attend funerals. but from my own experiences, i think i will leave the choice up to my children, if they are old enough to decide. i dont want to force them to go if they dont feel comfortable. But i want them to know they are always welcome to come say good - bye if they want to...

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