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Mums group meetings Lock Rss

Hello Everyone

I am in a really fantastic mums group but have a bit of a situation and wanted to know if anyone else would say anything.

There is about 6 of us that meet and we take turns in coming to each others houses (and the person who's house it is at makes food ie sandwiches or whatever) well it is usually the same 4 of us that say we can have it at my house next week.

And the other couple who come (and don't host it at their house) don't bring anything along with them.

Am I being a total cow if I say something?

melissa, vic, Patrick 2.5 & Laura 15 months


I don't think you are being a cow if you say something.
Our group also rotates houses but two different people bring food, muffins etc and the host supplies the tea and coffee.
This works out great as I have not asked it to be at my house as it's really old. It is really cold and rundown and it is not that child proof. I can keep an eye on my son but I would hate it if any of the other babies got hurt.
If the two people don't want it to be at there house then suggest to them to bring some food, you don't have to bake something just buy a packet of cookies. It's only manners.

Tineka, Mum to Hamish 3yrs, Abby 1yr & 1due 10/04

Hi Melissa

I think it's only fair that everyone contributes. Maybe like Tineka said - they don't want to have it at their house for whatever reason but it wouldn't hurt for them to bring some food. Maybe if you all worked out a food roster or at your next get together just ask them what they would like to bring next time - they're hardly going to say "I'm not bringing anything!" as they would look like total cows tongue !!!

All the best
Jasmine smile
i would just like to add another senario as to why they may not bring food or be the host

it could be that they dont have the spare money or their partner wont give them extra, or as someone else suggested that their house isnt baby friendly, or maybe they would be a bit embarressed for others to see their place. maybe if u ask these things in a subtle way then if all these are not the reason, 'speak or forever hold your peace' as they say

i dont go to a mothers group for these very reasons. i dont like my house and im not allowed extra cash for things other than what we need.

DD 13/11/03 -DD 11.11.05 - DS 17.4.08


thanks for your responses.

I just think they don't really think to offer.

I know what you mean though chelby, I am a full time mum and so we are on one income and we are lucky we can afford to do these things. It doesn't cost me that much to organise something its more the effort and thinking of what to make.

thanks again for your thoughts



melissa, vic, Patrick 2.5 & Laura 15 months

This is really in response to Chelby,

In our area we have a 1st mums group that use to meet up at the health centre and we would discuss all & everything. When that finished we all decided to go walking rather than go to each others houses. It's worked out really well, we usually walk for an hour and then find someplace to sit and talk for an hour (usually a cafe/park) We have also gone out for lunch a couple of times and had lunch at another mums house who loves to cook. It's so easygoing and not formal. And also your not under any pressure to invite others around if you don't want to (i'm in the middle of major renovations and my house seems to be covered permently in dust) and of course it costs nothing!This kind of mums group might be right up your street if you can organise it.

mum of 1

Hi Chelby

Our mums group does exactly what Jo77's does. We all met at the clinic when our babies were about 6 weeks old, we went there for about 6 weeks and when it finished we all decided to go walking together every week. We all just bring our own lunch and sit in a park along the way. Maybe contact your clinic if you're not in a group already as they hold older baby groups (5-7months) and pre toddler groups (9-12 months) as well. If you are or were in a group maybe suggest the walking idea to them or even just meeting at a park where you can all bring your own lunch/morning tea.

All the best
i feel im too old to make new 'good' friends and i have a fear that once ppl get to know me they wont like me.
im having a really big low with myself the past month or so.
i dont have anything to talk about with other ppl and i would end up talking about my problems and the last thing i want is ppl to feel sorry for me so i wont burdon anyone .

i'm good at giving advice i think i need to take my own advice.

maybe i will wait til hannah is 12mths b4 i join a group. or is that guna be too late by then?

DD 13/11/03 -DD 11.11.05 - DS 17.4.08

Hello Chelby

We are never too old to make friends and its a shame you feel like that!

You sound like a really nice person and I am sure anyone would be happy to have you as a friend

Friends listen to each others problems and you wouldn't be a burden!

I don't think you are ever too old either to join a mothers group

you will be amazed at how much better you feel if you find someone to take a walk with

Look after yourself and if there is anything us other mums can help you with just let us know



melissa, vic, Patrick 2.5 & Laura 15 months

Hi Chelby
You are never too old to join a mothers group. In my mums group the oldest is in her late 30s and our youngest is in her very early 20s, we did have one younger but her daughter wasn't the same age as our girls but it was a way to try and get her some new friends.
You never too old to make new and lasting friendships either.
You'd also be suprised at how much you'd have to talk about with you little one, what she's been up to, giving advice on whats helped with you.
We still meet once a week at a different house each week and the host supplies the food but we are usually too busy to eat anything and most of use drink water when we're out. We don't judge people by what they have and haven't got we're there for the company.
I hope you change your mind as I look forward to our weekly meetings, we've even started swimming lwessons as a group with all except 2 mums doing them.

member since 2004

Hi Chelby

I've been feeling a bit the same as you lately. All was going fine with my mother's group until a couple of months ago when most went back to work. Then there were only 3 of us left and the other 2 mums had more in common with each other than with me so I felt like a bit of a third wheel. Over the past few weeks we haven't been walking like we used to and we also used to take all of our babies swimming together and last week I got an sms saying they weren't swimming so I think that's that. I've seen it coming for a few weeks and so I went and checked out a local play group but most of the mums had older kids and they all sat in the corner talking while the kids played outside and because my son is still a baby I couldn't exactly leave him to fend for himself! It wasn't what I expected - I thought the adults and kids would interact a bit more. So I think I'm going to check out a few other playgroups in the area, surely there must be one where we'll be happy. I've also met a few mums through this site which has been really nice. I'm quite a shy person (you wouldn't know it with the amount of posts I've done on this site smile !!!) but meeting people face to face is a different story. The way things went with the mothers group didn't make me feel much better. Maybe a playgroup would be another option for you, you could join now or if you want to wait until Hannah is 12 months that would be fine too. Don't ever feel like you're too old to make new friends, there are plenty of us out there feeling the same way - we just have to find each other smile ! If you'd like to chat my email address is:
[email protected]

All the best
Hi, your never too old to make friends!!
And of course you have something to talk to people about. All we talk about is our bubs and the latest whinge we all have which could be anything. The eldest in our group is 39 this year and the youngest is 26, so quite a diverse group which is great!
Also check out all the playgroups in the area or perhaps put a post out on this site asking if there is anyone near you that would like to go out walking or whatever. I'm sure i've seen a post somewhere on this site that has done that already. Or else go out walking every day and your bound to keep bumping into the same people.

I don't know ehat else to advise, i live in a rural area so don't know what happens in cities etc..
Just keep at it!

mum of 1

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