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I need some advice...... Lock Rss

Hi Girls,

It's Jen here, you might remember me from the post "You can't choose your Family!!"

If you had read the post you would know that I was having some major problems with my SIL. Well, they still continue. We had my son's 2nd birthday on Saturday, combined with my 30th. (we are a day apart!!) I invited my SIL, BIL & neice to both the parties. We had not heard from her until an email arrived late on the last night on the RSVP day. (We were a little annoyed that she had to email us and could not use a phone.) She replied that herslef and her daughter would LOVE to come to my son's birthday but would be unable to stay for mine, and her husband would not be attending either.

Well the day has been and gone, and this is what happened, she said hello to me (as I had said it to her) and that is all, she sat with her mother and father for 2 hrs and talked to only her family.
on the Sunday I was looking at my pressies, there was no card from them to me, just an Aunt card from my neice.

My BIL also has the same birthdate as me, and we found out on Monday that she had all of the family over to their house for dinner to celebrate his bithday, but we were not invited!!

The advice I need is, sould I continue to invite her to functions at my house?? I don't really want to (as she makes me feel uncomfortable) but I also don't want to sink to her level.

Can you help me please??
Hi Jen

They make it so hard don't they? As soon as you don't invite her she'll probably make a big deal of it and you'll look like the horrible one - I'm just guessing as that's how my inlaws would be. Maybe next time you are having a function call her near the RSVP date and ask if she is coming or not, that way the ball is in her court and if she keeps refusing you'll know not to invite her in the future and if she says anything then you can point out that you've given her heaps of opportunities but thought she wasn't interested and you didn't want to make her uncomfortable by having to turn you down again. I hope this helps.

All the best
Hi Jen,
Don't families suck sometimes. To make less waves I would keep inviting her but don't ever count on her coming. At least that way if she does make it you'll get a little suprise.
By not inviting her would really be sinking to her level and I can tell your a far better person than that. It may also make things difficult for your other half as its his family thats the problem. And it could cause problems with you and your IL's.
If its his sister maybe he might wish to say something about how she's been treating you. I know that my brothers aren't shy about having a chat if someone has upset their partner, even though they've been given the wrong story/impression by my mother (but thats another story).
Hey just because you invite her doesn't mean you have to be best buddies with her, be polite and courteous as no doubt it will really annoy her.
Hope this all makes sense and is of some help to you.

member since 2004

Hi Jasmine and Chukkas,

Thanks for you reply's, that is what my gut had been telling me to do, I suppose I just wanted some reassurance. As much as it annoys me I will continue to invite her, and as you say hopefully it will be her that is more uncomfortable than me.

To Chukkas,

Just a note to let you know my Hubby supports me 100%. He has already had a talk with his sister but to no avail. She does not think she has done anything wrong and will not apoligise for her actions towards me. It upsets me to see what she is doing to her brother, as I know if it came down to it he would have nothing to do with her, if it ment that our family would be happy, but hopefully it won't come to that. Thank you for your kind words they really mean alot.
Hi Jen
I'm glad your husband is supporting you on this one as sometimes they can think your making a big deal out of nothing (mine's not like that either).

Your SIL sure sounds like a piece of work. Its sad that she has to be that way, but its her loss.
We had in-law issues at one stage when my BIL lived with us and it was my husband who stepped up and told his brother what for. It was almost a year before they spoke again, and they were previously quite close.
My BIL used to say rude remarks and be quite mean to me, not behind closed doors so no-body could see but in front of everyone. He went so far as to tell friends that I was a bi#*%, and not to leave him alone with me. I couldn't work it out, but at least I had my husbands support.

I hope you can limit the amount of time you have to spend with them so youdon't have to be brought down by her.
Hope you and your son had a great birthday.
Take care. Hope I could help.

member since 2004

Wow Jen, no cant say i do remember you.

Gotta agree with above poster, sometimes families do suck!

I agree with Chukkas, i dont get along with one of my SIL's at all! Long story that one....

Anyways we tolerate each other and invite each other to birthdays and family get togethers but thats it. We dont ring or go out of our way to talk to each other and it suits the both of us.

Sometimes i wish it wasnt like that, but unfortunately she is a bit of a toxic person and i just cant forgive the crap she has caused to my mum in the past. Maybe i have too much pride, but she has never apologised for her bull S H I T!! so im not backing down either.

Anyways definitely be the bigger and better person for not leaving them out of your parties and in the meantime steer clear of her.

[Edited on 21/06/2008]
Why are you gals dragging up a 2004 post?

LMAO wow i didnt even notice haha how funny
PMSL Ro, i didnt even look at that. it was on page 3 or 4 of general and i didnt even realise lol lol.
Looks like Mia was up to no good last night!!!

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