I just dont understand !!

I know there are some mean MIL out there ...but i have had a few boyfriends and one husband and i have gotten along with all of them !! ...

I soemtimes feel that sometimes people dont get along with their MIL cause they either have their back up to start off with or they have done something wrong towards them and they just cant seem to move on from it !!

My MIL is wonderful ...seh has said some mean things to me in the past ..but I just sort of shrug it off and move on !! ...seh told me when hubby got really sick and needed a brain operation "well ....he was never sick when he lived with me " ...sort of implying that it was my fault he was sick ..that hurt a bit ..well ..a lot considering it was a birth defect that made him sick in the first place ...so in actual fact ..it had more to do with her htan it did with me !! but I can see that she was scard for her sons safety and she was lashing out ..I am a big girl ..I can take it !! ...but I can also look past why people say things as well ...sometimes it is out of jelousy ..sometimes out of fear ....but you cant just take what they say to you and run with it !!

I know there are some real cows out there ...and some of them need absolutly no forgivness what so ever ...but dont some of you think it would be worth the peace you get if you just looked behind what the MIL is saying rather than the actual words she is saying ??

thats jsut me anyway ..

I know there will be a haep of people now telling me how horrible our MIL is and what she has done to you ...and I am sorry ..this is not meant to offend ..I am just syaing ...just swallow your pride ...be the bigger person and I am sure she will forget to put you down or be horrible to you if she getts no reaction !!

well I happen to disagree and I feel like this thread is directed at me and right now when I already feel upset and sensitive its not nice.

I had a fantastic MIL as well & agree with you

mine is just a cow who tries to control our life. We have words when she gets too pushy, 99% of the time I bite my tongue, for DH's sake.
But I can't stand her, she can't stand me, but we are civil most of the time!
I would love to have a better relationship with her, but I don't think ytou can always put 2 women together and have them get along

your thread was probably the straw that broke the camels back ...but I have been thinking this for quite some tiem now !!

if your MIL is a cow ..then she is a cow ..not much you can do about it ...but I do actually think that some of the things that soem of you get upset over are trivial !!

I never directed this at you ...regardless of what you think !!

I am sorry your mother in law has issues ...and I did say that there are some out there that need no forgivness ..I am not completely blind !!

Hey I am lucky with my MIL too, she is one of the nicest people I know and I gave her good reason not to like me lol - I got pregnant early on in the relationship!! but she still likes me!! and all of my boyfriends from the past have had lovely mothers too!, then I don't normally have much trouble getting along with people so maybe thats part of it??

I have a friend who hates her mil (seems nice enough to me) and her mother hates her own mil and her sister hates her own mil. Hmmmm maybe a bit of a pattern goin on here lol.

I understand what you're saying Frances. Mine is an extremely unpleasant woman. I have had no contact with her since the week Bugs was born because of what she did that week. It was extremely nasty and the nurses removed her from the hospital. I am now organising a GC holiday so that she can see my husband and Bugs, I will be at a day spa or relaxing by the pool on the days she sees them. My previous partners parents have all been wonderful and I still keep in touch with two of them.

Dakotagrace I don't think Frances was having a go at you. She was simply expressing disappointment that not all of us have a positive relationship with our <IL's.

I dont understand it either Frankie.
I love my MIL! Mind you she is still very young (52). She is a trendy Nan, very easy to get along with, takes a joke, plays jokes on you. She is supportive, loving, accepting, friendly, and a complete dag! Our last conversation was about her needing to have a full leg wax, and bikini wax, because she is off to Thailand, and didn't want her "moustache" showing (Her words not mine!)

I love that I can get her gift vouchers from Sexyland, and she will very happily march in there to spend it. My MIL is the bee's knees!

I love the fact the MIL allows me to be me, and accepts me for me. I don't have to ever put on a show, or pretend to be someone I'm not during out visits.
So there you go Mum, You read this and I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it, but that is fine too!

dakotagrace, luke'smum did state that she knows that there are some really nasty mil's out there that deserve no forgiveness, so it's not like she's telling EVERYONE to get over it iykwim?

I have to agree.....my mil can really annoy me sometimes, but so can some of my other family and friends. For some reason i think we tend to hold things over mil's heads far to often! (It's espacially hard when you have such an awesome relationship with your own mother smile )

Posted by: little boy blue
mine is just a cow who tries to control our life. We have words when she gets too pushy, 99% of the time I bite my tongue, for DH's sake.
But I can't stand her, she can't stand me, but we are civil most of the time!
I would love to have a better relationship with her, but I don't think ytou can always put 2 women together and have them get along

for sure ....I think that is alot of the problem ..MIL and daughter in laws are not meant to be under each others feet ....when I spend to much time with mine she getts on my nerves also ...but she is a sweet lady who wants the absolute best for her son ...I bite my tongue aswell ..and mine is an angel ...it is what we as woman have to deal with ...if we have a MIL ..she is going to at one stage or another offend us ...it is the way of the world ..dont try and fight it !!

my mil although strange always has her daughter and our kids best interest so yes she annoys me at times but she is still great whereas my wife has the greatest mil in the world

Yeah i generally agree Franny. There are always MIL threads about how bad they are etc etc, and don't get me wrong, they very well may be the devils spawn! LOL But from my point of view, i think the same as Franny, get over it and move on... But this only comes from being a person who has no inlaws at all! DF parents have both passed away so i have never had to deal with having them. I wish i did!! I would love a mother and father inlaw, and if they were only a QUARTER of the people my parents are they would still be AWESOME!!