Huggies Forum

I just dont understand !! Lock Rss

I think sometimes you have to choose your battles. I love my MIL now but there was a stage where we didn't get along and she thought I was trying to 'steal' her son and I thought she was delaying cutting the cord!

We both know each other enough now to TALK and tell each other what's bothering us but before we just bottled it up and let it brew. I am the type to confront family if they have a problem with me and I also can't hold a grudge. (I haven't had anything serious happen to warrant a total exclusion of her though)

I think it depends on what the MIL has done to a person, there are some pretty nasty women out there who have it set in their minds that no one is good enough for their children, no matter how in love they are. They have also lived their lives vicariously through their children their whole lives so to see their children meet their partner and start another family signals jealousy and hurt. My own mother says "I will love anyone my children love" which I think is a great philosophy but give me 20 years and I'll see if I can live by that!

I like my DH's Mother-in-law better than mine wink

My MIL is alright, we get along pretty well. We used to have a few drinks and talk about all sorts, including the adoptions of DF and SIL - pretty sensitive subjects I would have thought but shes ok about it all.

Shes been a bit weird lately and we haven't seen much of her - something to do with leaving FIL and now moving in with new Boyfriend...

Love my boys M-10/05/08 J-01/12/09

Posted by: SweetDreamz
I like my DH's Mother-in-law better than mine wink

NAH she can bug me just as much lol
My MIL annoys he crapola out of me, is a pain in my rear and is sometimes just a cow...But its just like any other relationship and I would be lost without her and depend on her for alot. She decided that she didnt need her huge house and we needed it more than her so she went out and built a new small house for herself and has let DP and I live in her house...She drops everything to have my 3 kids (1 of which isnt really her grandchild but she has taken her on as her grand-daughter)she babysits 3 nights a week while I am at netball or DP is at soccer so we can have that time as a couple.

Sometimes I can strangle her but for the most of it shes awsome!

Mummy to 3 little goblins

im one of the lucky ones... i get along with MIL and FIL really good. They are down to earth country folks that drink and laugh alot lol. Their kids are always first!! And they love the grandies (as FIL calls them)

I feel really bad for the girls that put up with the MIL's crap!!!! don't know how most of them haven't ripped their hair out by now with some of the stories i've read!
Posted by: prouddadof3
my shotgun will stop me being a fil for another 30 years

hahaha typical fatherly comment!!!! Although, i'll have something to say if Cohen brings home a mini skirt, boob tube, boots wearing girl LOL
I have great inlaws. Thats not to say MIL and i have not had our show down over the last 12yrs. But things are normally pretty good. Better since we had ds as i grew a back bone haha.

I have noticed in my group of friends it is the girls who MIL's only have sons who have the issues. If Mil has daughters as well there isn't a problem.

I noticed this with my MIl as she only has 2 boys and was queen bee until i came into the picture ( BIL is gay so no chance of him bringing another women on the picture)

I think a lot of women find it hard to share that special "only women" title with another. Plus my attitude of "i don't answer to my own parents i am not answering to you" probably was a shock to her too lol.

But now i have to say i love her more then my own mum.

i''''m baking a baby

Well, my fiance doesn't have a mother so, I don't have a MIL. My FIL isn't my favourite person in the world but, all he ever does is compliment me on how well I look after his son and grandson so, it's pretty easy for me to get along with him lol!

DF does, however, have a grandmother - a Greek grandmother. This terrified me prior to meeting her. I'm the only non-Greek in DF's entire family so, I was a little concerned as to how they would take me. But, his grandmother threw her arms around me and, other than trying to shove food down my throat until I burst, she is absolutely delightful. She's lovely and made me feel welcome from the start.

I'm very lucky though. I know of some horrible in-laws and count my lucky stars that I didn't end up with them!
[Edited on 10/01/2009]
Personally I find it really hard to "shrug off" mean comments from a MIL when they come at you 100% of the time. I'm always smiling and putting up with it when really, why should I have to accept her behavior? (Mil). I hate doing that just for the sake of peace, but I do it, doormat me :S

Personally if you have a great MIL, great for you! smile But I understand when people vent here as a mean one is very unpleasant and actually really hard to live with.
Posted by: Elailah*Andy*Krystal
Sorry that turned out to be really long smile
It is a very touchy subject with me & when I get started well thats what happens sorry.
I just find myself stressing & not wanting to see them because I know what happens when I do, so I would prefer DP & kids go without me. What makes it worse is when we are with extended family they act like the perfect grandparents When they are far from it.
I dont for one min think that if your MIL is a horrible person that you should just grin and bear it ...I think if she is detrimental to you and your family than you have to do a bit of self preservation ...

but if it is a snide comment here or a put down there and a bit of a sticky noe in your buisness here and there then yeah ..I think you should have a vent about it ...have a cry ..then build a bridge and have a new day ..I dont think holding onto things said 10 years ago is healthy for anyone !! never know ..she might regrett it just as much as you do ...

and plus ...I live 2 hours away from my IL ..they are very old adn when they come they come for weeks a few weeks with two woman in the house is NEVER going to go smoothly ..I know this is now how the relationship is going to go for ever in a day is cause she in my kitchen telling me that I burn everything I touch I tell her that if she doesnt bloody like it then she can cook either that or belt up ....soemtiems she cooks sometiems she belts up !! lo lol lol...she can decide ..

I dont for one min think that anyone should be a door mat ...soI do think that if it is an on going thing than it is worth saying to her "What is your probelm with me ??" and say it honestly so she has no where to go ...let her know how it makes you feel and that you dont treat her like this ....and then ....if she is still going to go on with all her crap ....WIPE THE WOMAN least then she knows and it is an active decision on her behalf to do and say the very things you have told her offend you .......I dont see how anyone can get all cranky when they are prepaired to sit and say nothing .....she may not know that what she is saying is hurtful ...let her know and then there is no excuse !!!
I wish i had a MIL or a FIL!!
I just know that hubbys mum and i would have gotten along like a house on fire and i thinki could have always turned to her when her sons PISSEN me off!!

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