This has nothing to do with you and what you have done wrong to deserve this!!
These feelings you have are absolutely normal, and to be honest, if we didnt feel like this, i think it would be abnormal.... This is part of the grieving process and you have every right to feel sad, angry, moody, guilty, and all of the emotons to come, but htey are emotions to go throught o get to the feeling OK stage...
No matter how many times people tell you these things, this is your personal journey and how long it takes you both to start healing is anyones guess and there is no time frame, , and there is nothing wrong with you for having any of these thoughts.. Its just a really sad, unfair time with a roller coaster ride to go along with it. My only advice is to let it be what it is, take time to fell the pain, dont pretend you are ok if oyu are not, its ok, to scram cry yell, and it will be ok, to laugh and smile again one day soon as well. and dont forget to look after yourself as well, apiece of toast even and a cup of tea, because you are important as well..... If it makes you feel better to write your feelings down then do that, if not, just taske each emotion as it comes. and if you want to just ignore my post, then thats what you should do as well... this is a personal time and one that is truly heartbreaking... Yvette.
[Edited on 23/02/2009]