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Why do old people care so much ?? Lock Rss

I had a friend have a baby on Wednesday morning ..she was 9 days over due and when she went in to have a S&W a day after she was due she was 3cm dilated ..so we were all so positive that this was going to be a wonderful experience for her as the hard work is half done !! ...

Well ....as it turns out bubs head was to big and got stuck so she was put in for an emergency c-section ...mum is doing well and so is her beautiful bouncing 8pound 12 baby boy (dont know how big his head was !! lol lol )she is dissappointed but happy it is all over and they are both ok ...she is really pragmatic about it ..

Her MIL came in saying it was a crok that she needed a c-section as woman are made to birth and the fact that a babys head is to big for the mother is crap as this would be a minority ..she recons the only way this can happen is it people from diffrent origions have a baby (like a phillipino woman and a Aussie bloke for example )and made my friend feel like a complete failure ..she was really upbeat before hand and now feels like crap !! ....why do they care so much ??? now she half believes her cause I had Luke Naturally and he was 9 pound 10 ...

so ....I want some stories to give back to my friend to make her feel better about herself and her decision ..I have tried to flip it off by saying "oh who cares ..you and bubs are perfect adn that is all that matters "but it is not working ..she feels like she gave in to easily ...I tried to tell her that if there was a way to have this baby naturally and this is what she wanted then the middys would have moved heaven and earth to have this happen ...but it was obviously not possible as the outcome was a c-section ...

Anyone got any stories of baby to big for his mummy !! I will show her this thread !!
When I had Lachlan I was 11 days overdue and went into labour the day before I was booked in to be induced. After 2 and a half hours of pushing, I was taken for an emergency C/section as he was stuck. At first I felt like a failure as being my second baby I didn't think I would have any trouble getting him out! He was a big boy though 8pd 8pzs, 53cms and his head was 37.2cms.

Congratulations to you friend on the safe arrival of her precious baby boy! It is dissapointing when you don't get the birth you are expecting, but I guess at the end of the day they are both healthy and happy and that is the main thing.
Here, pass this on to the MIL...
The baby is alive.

and give her a slap in the head for me smile
What an awful woman. Does she even realise how many babies die per year from shoulder dystocia?! Getting stuck and then it's too late by the time you manage to yank them out?

Cohen was stuck and wedged into my pelvis. There was no way he was coming out vaginally. Even in theatre, all that yanking trying to pull him out with forceps. No amount of epidural would stopped me from feeling that.

Layla was 6pd 10 and only just came out only with the help of ventouse. She was stuck at the top of my cervix which i tore trying to push her down. They said any bigger and i would of been off to theatre again.

Some women need to keep their opinions to themselves.
I too had an emergency c-section as bub was too big to fit and she was only 7pd 2oz, 43cms long and 35cms head so if its a crock why was i told that even if i was to have a 5pd baby there is no guarantee i would be able to deliver naturally? The MIL sounds like a silly old bat that needs to live in the now and not the past. I hope your friend can realise that its not how bub comes into the world its all about the safest way they come out. I hope your friend can ignore MIL and just enjoy her baby. I hope her recovery is quick and congrats to her on the birth of her precious bundle.
I have had two emergency c - sections...

First time my dd was near 10 pound and after 17 hours of trying i couldnt push her out, Doctor said her head was to big.

Second time ds had no fluid around him and was indistress .

And now i am going to have 3rd c section because its medically needed.

I am australian and so is hubby and i cannot naturally birth.
First time alot of people made me feel bad for having c - section especially my mil. Oh and when i couldnt leap out of bed after c - section stupied mil says oh come on it cant be that bad.But she had never had a c-section herself...

Ignore stupied ill informed morons and tell your friend to enjoy her beautiful bundle of joy.
I'd remind the MIL that there was a lot of still births in her day, and now due to technology and research done since she had babies, the still birth rate has significantly dropped. If a baby gets stuck and can't get oxygen or becomes distressed, it may need to be resussed and that's not how any mother would want their baby to start life.

Also, every mothers body is different and lots of doctors recommend caesers for big babies/small mothers to avoid the risks that can follow with natural births.

I hope your friend feels better, I had emergency caesar with my first and he was only 7pound but thankfully he came out healthy and I wouldn't change what I did for anything and I was probably at my fittest and healthiest during my pregnancy with him.

hugs to your friend xoxo
Oh Frankie, please tell your friend she is wonderful and not a failure! Her MIL should keep her nose out of it and be happy that both mum and bubs came out of it alive and ok.

My horror story is very similiar to your friends, I am only 5,1 tall and am the smallest in my family for 3 genmerations (everyone is 6ft or a fraction under) and I married into DH's family where no is under 6ft 1. I was in labour with DD# 1 for 34hrs (8pm monday night - 7am wed morn.)and getting know where fast. they did a check (internal) and found that bub's head was to big to fit into my pelvis, and then bubs started to get distressed. Dr ordered an emegency c -section, and luckily they did cause they discovered when they opened me up that bubs had stretched out and put one of her feet into my ribs and it was stuck! so even if she could of fitted out of my pelvis, she would have died cause she was stuck! In order to get her out, they basically had to break my rib.
I would rather go through that again than have the babys or my life at stake just cause I or someone else didnt want to be a failure. smile

Tell her MIL where to go because back in her day infant and mother mortality was really really high due to the lack of medical intervention.

A similar thing happened to me with me first child. DS was born at 37 weeks, 3.405kg and Head circumference of 34.5cm. I went into labour naturally but 31 hours later there was still no baby delivered. He started to show signs of distress so they took me to theatre and tried the vaccuum twice and the the forceps and they just seemed to get him stuck more. So then they prepared me for a c- section. He was so far down the birth canal that they had to put their hand in and push him back up. Then when they were trying to get him out thru the c-section (they were pulling me quiet violently) he still would not come out. They ended up getting the forceps and using them somehow through the c-section. He seemed fine after he was born but then about 2 hours later he went blue and started fitting. They rushed him away to the NICU where he spent the next 10 days of his life in NICU fighting for his life and then 3 weeks after that in special care. His head was black from bruising from getting stuck and from all of there pulling he had a severe concusion and they thought he might now have cerebal palsey (which he doesn't thank god). He couldn't maintain breathing, heart rate, body temperature, could not feed so was tube fed but then could not keep that down so he ended up on a drip. After he was released from hospital he then needed surgery at 7 weeks of age. After all of that he always seemed to be getting illnesses and at one stage when he was about 7 months his weight dropped from the 50th percentile to the 7th percentile. He was also no a very happy baby and was very clingy to me and grizzly alot of the time. He is 3 now and is fine thankfully.

With my second baby (DD) I found the best OB I could find (DS was born at a midwifes clinic with the oncall OB for the final bit). After telling the OB about my first experience he said that they let me go far too long on the natural labour and all of that could have been avoided if they did a c- section a lot earlier. My DD was born via a planned c-section and is a happy healthy baby.

Tell your friend to be grateful they did the c-section when they did so now both her and the baby is healthy and can start a happy healthy life together. I wish they had of done my first c-section ALOT sooner. She is not a failure and she should feel proud that she has managed to produce a beautiful little baby. It doesn't matter how he arrived into the world.

Also for the record my husband and I are both Australian so that blows here MIL's theory out of the window.
The thing that getts me is that she was fine about it ...she was happy it all turned out for the best and that they were both happy safe and sound ...it is not what she wanted nor what she expected (this was her first baby and I feel a little responsible for getting her to think this was enevatable that a vaginal birth was going to happen ..I should have known better !)but she was fine ...she was confident and happy and loving her bundle ...untill last night !! ...

I will definatly let her know she is not alone and having a baby that is to big is definatly possible ..she is not a big girl to start off with and that is why I was so surprised that He was so big !! ...she was teeny tiny when she was pregnat not that that is much of a yard stick !! lol lol lol

Her MIL turned up when she was asking for no visitors while she swallowed this for a second and she was there within an hour of this little boy being born .....no wonder her FIL divorced her !! lol lol lol
I had no idea you changed your name Frances!!

You know my friend Kylie - you meet her at my 30th?? Well we always use to joke how she had child bearing hips - she was always wide, not fat, just wide, but when it came down to birthing her son she couldn't dialate to 10cm, only got to 9cm and then when she got told to start pushing his head was in the wrong place and if she kept pushing she would have broken his neck.

She had to have an emergency c-section after 40hours of labour.
Then she got told she would never be able to deliver naturally as her bones don't move right during labour and her sons head was MASSIVE - there was no way she could have got his head out. Its still massive too! We joke about how big his head is, hehe!!

She did get a bit of depression - but unfortunately anything that can go wrong for my friend will. Something simple will turn into something difficult for her.

How time flies!!

Posted by: Leeuwin
Tell her MIL where to go because back in her day infant and mother mortality was really really high due to the lack of medical intervention.

A similar thing happened to me with me first child. DS was born at 37 weeks, 3.405kg and Head circumference of 34.5cm. I went into labour naturally but 31 hours later there was still no baby delivered. He started to show signs of distress so they took me to theatre and tried the vaccuum twice and the the forceps and they just seemed to get him stuck more. So then they prepared me for a c- section. He was so far down the birth canal that they had to put their hand in and push him back up. Then when they were trying to get him out thru the c-section (they were pulling me quiet violently) he still would not come out. They ended up getting the forceps and using them somehow through the c-section. He seemed fine after he was born but then about 2 hours later he went blue and started fitting. They rushed him away to the NICU where he spent the next 10 days of his life in NICU fighting for his life and then 3 weeks after that in special care. His head was black from bruising from getting stuck and from all of there pulling he had a severe concusion and they thought he might now have cerebal palsey (which he doesn't thank god). He couldn't maintain breathing, heart rate, body temperature, could not feed so was tube fed but then could not keep that down so he ended up on a drip. After he was released from hospital he then needed surgery at 7 weeks of age. After all of that he always seemed to be getting illnesses and at one stage when he was about 7 months his weight dropped from the 50th percentile to the 7th percentile. He was also no a very happy baby and was very clingy to me and grizzly alot of the time. He is 3 now and is fine thankfully.

With my second baby (DD) I found the best OB I could find (DS was born at a midwifes clinic with the oncall OB for the final bit). After telling the OB about my first experience he said that they let me go far too long on the natural labour and all of that could have been avoided if they did a c- section a lot earlier. My DD was born via a planned c-section and is a happy healthy baby.

Tell your friend to be grateful they did the c-section when they did so now both her and the baby is healthy and can start a happy healthy life together. I wish they had of done my first c-section ALOT sooner. She is not a failure and she should feel proud that she has managed to produce a beautiful little baby. It doesn't matter how he arrived into the world.

Also for the record my husband and I are both Australian so that blows here MIL's theory out of the window.
HOLY CRAP !!!!! ...I will definatly let her see this one ...she will be pleased that things worked out the way they did !! ....glad they all seemed to work out for you guys in the end ...wow ...what a journey you and your little one have been on !! !
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