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Telling the ex... PART 2 Lock Rss

Ok, so further to my post the other day about telling the ex I am getting married, decided to go with a note to him which I will give him when he drops DS back off to me (lol, so I dont have to see him for another 2 weeks!).. this is what I have so far, does it sound ok?

Hey Ex,

Hopefully what I am about to tell you is not going to hurt or upset you, but I felt as DS' father you should hear this from me directly.

DP has proposed, and I have accepted. Our plan is to get married early in February next year. Hopefully you will soon find the happiness that I have.

I want to make sure you know that your role as DS' father will not change, and hopefully our friendship remains for DS' sake.

Let me know if there is anything you are unsure about or need to know.


Congratulations hun that is wonderful news... I think a letter is a really nice idea.... however I must say your new username cracks me up.... lol as everytime I see borntobeamum I think borntobeabum... sorry.... just my funny... but congratulations and a great idea.

Lol, thanks duff - everytime I see it I think I see "bourbon!"
hi .. congrats on your engagement . I think the note is very nice and in no way nasty or anything like that and I'm sure he will be fine with the news.

Hope everything goes well for you.

I would personally take the first part out about "not going to hurt or upset you"... Their are two things i read into that.. firstly that you feel a need for his approval and secondly that you are concerned for his feelings and that his feelings have some say in the matter...

Only other part i might query is the "hopefully you will soon find the happiness that i have".. again just a personal thing kinda feels like rubbing salt in the wound..

Again their just kinda personal things for me but i don't know ur ex so might make all sense to him.. Good luck with it thought

p.s (chicken bwahahah)

i think it would b much better to be said in person, rather then a letter.

a letter to me seems a lil i dunno the right word lol, not cos its actually a bad idea, but it might b taken that way, like ur either a)to scared to tell him in person or b) dont wann deal with it iykwim

i would just say what u have said (with teh alterations from kellyndarcy) and work it out from there

You done a good job with the letter maybe change it and say the bit about nothing going to change first then put that what i just told you wasn't meant to hurt you last.

I aggree with pp, too much info. If you're going with a note keep it simple and facts (not feelings) only.
Hi there,

I dont really know the full story here, but just thought I'd say that you should probably just tell him to his face and not via a letter. I wouldnt make a big song and dance about it... Just say, "hey, just thought you should know that DP and I are engaged and I just wanted you to hear it from me". A letter says, "Ive thought through this alot", "I was too scared to say it to your face", "Im still worried about what you think" etc.

Good luck with it. You'll be fine. smile
Thanks ladies - I understand what you are all saying about feelings etc. I guess it was just force of habit to be overly nice about it! Even though he is the ex I guess I just wanted to prevent hurting him even though the same courtesy has never been given to me...

And yes, I am a total chicken doing it via letter instead of to his face lol.. I'm not totally sure why I decided to go that way, I think because things have been becoming less amicable lately, I was just trying to prevent an argument... but I also get what you are all saying about not making a big deal out of it by writing a letter instead of saying it to his face. I will do the face-to-face thing first, and see how that goes, and if it goes pear shaped I will send him an email telling him that his position as DS dad is not going to change.
Does that sound better?
sweetie do what ever makes you feel most comfortable its fine for us to offer an opinion but were not the ones in the situation having to face him or know the full details of whats happened
good luck with it n let us know how it goes


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