Huggies Forum

Gambling problem Rss

If you love him and want life to go back to how it was, you could leave him and think of it as temporary. Tell him to call you when he's got help and has stopped gambling.

He's not gambling with just money, but his family. It's sad because it's a recognised illness, but you wouldn't just go along being sick without getting treatment normally, and neither should he.

Another thing you could do is go to the bank and make it so that neither of you can withdraw money without both signing for it. He should not have an atm card or the rights to withdraw money without your permission when he is like this.

You could also open your own account that he has no access to, and transfer all money across to it- leave minimal amounts in your joint account.

Good luck, I hope he can get this sorted, how awful for you!
[Edited on 31/12/2009]

Thanks ladies for all your replies. I feel a little embarassed spilling my guts to complete strangers but i think i needed an outsiders prospective on the whole situation. Thanks smile
We have done the signature bank accounts ect.. no cards.. I even got my MIL to open a savings account for us.. He begged and begged her until she caved in and gave him access to it without even consulting me first. Then he started borrowing money off other family members.. and well that had to be repayed didnt it.. so i was off to the bank always repaying HIS debts.. Then he took out another credit card behind my back..
yep I agree with pp... you have tried - and he is digging himself in deeper.

If he is being this sneaky, it wouldn't surprise me if he has a number of credit cards.. and if you don't want this to impact further on your family with debt collectors knocking on your door you need to get out now.

Here is australia's gambling helpline - this is not just for gamblers, you can also call for support and to ask what you can do about him. It's a free call too.

1800 858 858

How far away do you parents live?? if you no longer have a car can you call them and ask you to pick you up.. n just say to them please no questions until we leave or are back at their house??

TBH i think the sooner you do something the better

ETA i can't believe ur mil assuming she knows the full reasons y u guys have moved in their would give him access to that account wtf is with that
[Edited on 31/12/2009]

Like everyone else has said, good on you for sticking by him for so long, but it seems like the time has come to get away from the whole situation.
It's not good for you and it certainly isn't good for your DS.

If you can stay with your folks for a bit while you find your feet, it sounds like that would be great.

If you can, get a bank account set up in just your name and get some of the money from the joint account transferred in there (I'm just assuming you have a joint account etc).

Also might be a good idea to let Centrelink know what's going on and see if you can get any benefits from them?

All the best chick, and don't feel embarrassed about blurting it out on here - you've done your best and unfortunately that hasn't been enough to get your DH to recognise that he has a huge problem which is negatively impacting his family.
It's time for you to take control of your life, and ensure that your DS isn't around these negative and damaging influences.

Best of luck and GBH
I am only a 15min drive from my parents..regardless they would travel to the moon and back for me. We are heading there tonite for NY. I dont think i want to burden them with all this tonight with the whole family over.. I think ill have a nice coffee with mum and dad tomorrow and explain everything..
Sounds like a good idea..
The sooner you can get the ball rolling, the better for you and your little man.
thank you ladies for all your help.. Maybe we should try bumping this off the page.. Enough with my depressing Its new years eve!! Happy thoughts now lol.
Welcome to PM me though smile
i know exactly what you are going through!!! i am married to a gambling addict! i have treatened to leave i dont know how many times, i have actually left twice! once when i had a 4 month old and had just had surgery i went to my parents, and once when i had a 14 month old and just found out i was pregnant. my parents know everything about my life and i mean everything! hubby has been like this for years even before i knew him, i rang his mother crying last time i kicked him out and she didnt realise he was still doing it so she got in her car was ropeable and went looking for him, thank god she didnt find him otherwise i dont think he would be alive today! my parents have threatened to hurt him, i have threatned to walk away, but threats are only that threats..... if you ever want to just chat to someone pm me sometimes you just need to vent to someone on the outside of the situation

DS 11/01/08 DD 20/12/2009

I havent read any replies so sorry if I repeat something. I think and of course this is all IMO, that if he cant accept help and change, becasue he needs and wants too then leave. I have been through something very similar with my Dad, it has changed our realationship and I wish something was done before it affected every single thing in our lives. tbh it runied our family and I think and wonder about it everyday sad

I hope you guys can sort it out and quickly. Thinknig of you. PM me if you want to, im more than happy to listen. Big hugs.

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