Ending Pregnancies

I dont have very good coping skills at all ...I am not good with change and I dont handle curve balls one little bit !!

Hubby and I are super super carefull with sex as I fall pregnant quite easily ..it is keeping them I have an issue with ..and even with the trouble I have had ..if I was to fall pregnant now ..an abortion would be something that we would definatly discuss ...who knows what I would end up doing ??? I may even keep it ...I dont know ...but I am not in that position to make the decision so I can only surmise what I would do ....

none of these people are the ones dealing with two small children and being pregnant and moving and doing that all on your own ...If I was in your position ...I would ask the mods to delete this thread as there is very little that is constructive ...but then again you did ask the general public their opinion and you got it !! lol lol lol but I am not to sure your going to like what has been said ..as valid as their opinions are ...I dont think it is going to be sconstructive in your position ...go tot he link that Rikki posted and get yourselves some councelling ...this is a huge decision and for me ??? the fact that you are so unsure about it would steer me into the relm of "no" ...I think with this sort of thing you either know what your going to do or you dont ..if there is doubt then I personally wouldnt !! ...

good luck ..hope you can make the rightdecision for you and your family and you make it soonish !!

Wow good luck with making your decision. I have never ended a pregnancy and only you and your DH can decide what the right reasons for terminating are.

From the reasons you have given I would say no. I am in a similar situation, my DH works away months at a time, I have 2 young children, we are settling on a house at the end of April and have no3 due a month later. I have no family for support and I cope because I have to.

I understand you are worried how you would cope with another difficult pregnancy without DH. I find it hard sometimes and my pregnancies are relatively easy. Do you have any other support around you??

Good Luck
[Edited on 20/02/2010]

seren*dipity - she DID ask for opinions - she asked "what would you do?" that IS asking opinions!! do u seriosuly not get that?? i mean, seriously??

i dont want nay more kids, in fact, if i were to fall poregnant now, god knows how i would cope, but there is no way in hell i would get rid of it.

the ONLY reason i may contemplate it is if i were raped, and even then, i wouldnt want too, but i think DH and my family would want to. If anything, i would keep the baby and give it up for adoption................so many ppl out there cant have babies, and adoption is very rare.

is that an option??

there could be so many happy families out there is a qtr of the abortion rate went into adoption

No i wouldn't terminate.. i would keep the baby and manage as best as i could, or if i really couldn't support it i would give it up for adoption. That way some other couple who can't have children can have the joy of having a baby. I don't see any baby as being a 'mistake' sure it may have been a mistake to you as you can't see into the future, but that baby was still meant to be. That baby from conception is a tiny human, they can't plan when their going to be conceived, they don't get to pick the right time or place it just happens. It's not their fault that it's not the right time for you.
When is the right time really? Years down the track you could be in big debt, or you could have a great job etc.. I dont' think a baby is ever born in the right time as there are always going to be struggles that your going to go through.
I would maybe suggest that you get some councelling on the subject.
[Edited on 20/02/2010]

Obviously it's your choice and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about how you feel, no-one knows the exact details of your life and how you would cope so you need to really think about all of the scenarios:

Could you cope emotionall and financialy if you had the baby?
What if you terminated and then couldn't go on to have another baby?
What if you decide to have the baby then find out the child has a severe disability or you're having multiples? there are so many questions you need to ask yourself and counselling would help!

I know that I wouldn't have a baby at this stage of my life for many reasons, some might say it's selfish but I think it's selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world.

Good luck xoxo

when i was pregnant with my 2nd child up untill i was 24 weeks i was still thinking about having an abortion, then my mind went to adoption. there is a big story behind my 2nd but shes here now we love her wouldnt change her for the world, when bella was 4 1/2 months old i fell pregnant again, didnt even consider abortion. but my partner doesnt work away, if he did i dont know how i would feel about this baby as they are gonna be so close together. but ive also always said the only reason i would terminate are medical reasons and a few others.
You are the only one who can make this decsion and im sure u will make the right decsion for u. good luck!!

edited for spelling
[Edited on 20/02/2010]

I read the first page of replies and that is it all I can say is WT FLAPPY seriously the only thing as bad as a troll is someone that says something and then goes back and edits it.

As others have said, what maybe RIGHT for you may not be RIGHT for others, so only you can and your DH can make this decision.

Me personally couldn't do it not in a million years but that is just the way I am. Falling pregnant with my DS2 that was the most un-convenient, un-practical UN everything, I was not in the right state of mind for another baby nor was I set up financially to have another baby and truth be told I considered Abortion I tried to convince myself it was the RIGHT thing, But I couldn't do it! All I could do was sit down with DP and work out HOW we would do this, we got a house together we stopped going out we set ourselves up so that we COULD do this because no matter what life throws at you you will find a way to cope with it, to deal with it you will find a way to make it work even when it looks like everything will fall apart you will get there.

Now look at us, we have a gorgeous happy family, we adore DS2 more than anything in the world and often I find myself looking back thinking 'how could I ever of contemplated getting rid of him' and DP has often said the same thing to me.

I feel you regret the 'what ifs' because you can't change them, but the now and the future you can IYKWIM?
(that probably makes no sense LOL but I know what I am trying to say)

life is a very precious thing. it is short, it is unpredictable and it is full of ups and downs and surprises.
everyones journey is different. no two people will walk the same path, experience the same things and feel the same feelings in the same situations.

therefore nobody can rightly judge another person as they will never truly know all the factors that contribute to this persons feelings.

Based on the very limited information given, no i could not terminate.

Even when a baby is planned, unexpected things happen like partners working away, marriage falling apart, house settlement, homelessness, loss of a loved one, illness, unemployment and the list goes on and on. There is never going to be a perfect time to have a baby and something will ALWAYS come up to challenge you. It is part of life.
This is your challenge.
What you do with it is up to you but you need to speak to a counsellor, your husband, and perhaps family and friends so that you are 100% confident in your decision.

there is no "right reason" to abort. just like there is no "right time" to have a baby.
There just is what there is.
life is too short to have regrets and in the circumstances given above, i would be filled with regret down the track. but that is me and my feelings.

Good luck

I believe anyone contemplating ending a pregnancy is coming from a place of inner emotional turmoil and needs to be treated with care and dignity. I do not for one moment believe that anyone can take this action casually.

I have lost pregnancies and have found it difficult to get pregnant and I would find it extremely difficult to even contemplate termination under any circumstances, HOWEVER I have never walked in your shoes and what I or anyone else would do is of NO help to you, what anyone else would do makes NO difference. I really hope you get some counselling and discover the deeper reason for you reasons as I am sure it is more than just 'timing'. Good luck

in my younger days i probably would have considered an abortion. however now that i have a child i don't think i could. i think i would just have to grin and bear it and continue with the pregnancy.

When i fell preg with brody i i had the implanon in and we doing the pull out method.. 2 children was my plan and my idea of a perfect family. I DID NOT want another one. Then when i found out i was pregnant i went into a depression and contemplated terminating because it wasnt 'in my plan' the baby was due right when hubby was going to quit his job and start up our own business.. .so shaky grounds for us cause we didnt know how it would go emotionally and financially. I decided not to terminate(THANK GOD).. and altho we struggled we got through it and it was soooo worth it!! No matter what is thrown at you you will love this baby (if u choose to have it) and every time u look at it you will wonder what could force a mother to have those thought about there unborn child. I regret even thinking it... I wouldve regretted actually doing and god knows what that would've done to me mentally.. I think terminating wouldve thrown more spanners in the works than actually having Brody. But at the end of the day... your decision... just make sure you make the right one!!

I couldn't do it