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You think the 2's are terrible.... Rss

Try dealing with a 12yo girl!

I just got so much hatred spat at me for asking her to take the rubbish and recycling out for me. DD1 told me living here is 'hell', she hates me, hates Dad, that her little sisters and brother are annoying and she wishes she didn't live here sad ....all I did was ask her to take out the rubbish!!!! There had been no disagreement or tension before that point, she didn't have a bad day at school or anything, she just snapped! She has now stormed off out the door into the backyard.

God give me strength to deal with her outbursts because they are beginning to weigh heavy on my heart. Watching her be so mean to her siblings and saying such hurtful things to them is breaking my heart but short of sticking a dirty sock in her mouth when she starts ranting, I literally cannot stop her, we talk afterwards all the time about how much her words impact on everyone and she gets upset, cries, says sorry BUT does the same thing over and over at the drop of a hat.

Give me a 2yo any day....this pre teen suff is tough!
Oh man, I don't envy you. I don't know how my mum did it with us kids. I feel so guilty still to this day for behaving similar to your Dd and have apologised to my mum! I have no words of advice or wisdom but I think you are doing a fantastic job.
Thank goodness I only have boys, Will probably get the same with them though
Oh I remember going through this when I was younger. Perhaps she is going through a few hormonal changes once they are under control she'll be better.
Try to take comfort in knowing that this wont last forever! GBH
My 10 year old son is pretty darn good at throwing his attitude around this house, to an extent i can deal with his treatment towards me but when he says things like......i hate my brothers and wish you never ad them.....well that gets to me.

So to an extent i know how you feel, i just hope it doesnt last forever
My mum told me not long ago that when i was a teenager it was like walking on egg shells.
Hopefully your DD, will not be one of these teenagers that has bad mood swings.




Aww hun! GBH! Try and stick with it! My MIL always said to her DD during her teenage tirades that she hoped one day she would have a child just like her so she'd know how it felt! Guess what...MILs DD now has a child EXACTLY like she used to be! Ahh karma!
Hang in there hun...

Hi

Not sure if you have much family support but something that was a huge help for me a couple of weeks ago was.... Hold on I'll give you bit of back ground 1st. I have a 6 month old DS & an almost 8 yr old DD. DD has been sooo nasty lately, huge tantrums, hurts her brother, etc, etc. I was starting to feel as though i would snap. She has been struggling with not being an only child anymore. Anyway my Mum came to visit & she was having an outburst at the time. Mum took her off to her room quietly & had a big long deep & meaningful with her. It has made a huge difference. I think it was not only the words she had to say but the fact that 1- it was her Nanna & 2- someone other than ME! Mum later said that they talked about hurting other peoples feelings & that mummy (me)was starting to feel like i was doing everything wrong. She told her that she as my mother thought i was doing a great job and DD should start to appreciate me and the family a bit more, she's lucky to have a family that cares, etc,etc.
Worth a try, if nothing else seems to be working.

Mara xo

Oh man, I don't envy you. I don't know how my mum did it with us kids. I feel so guilty still to this day for behaving similar to your Dd and have apologised to my mum! I have no words of advice or wisdom but I think you are doing a fantastic job.


Ditto to the above except sadly I didn't get to apologise to my Mum as she passed away when I was only 15years old and still in total BITCH mode sad

(((hugs))) Dee - I really hope you get through these hard years without too many tears on your behalf.

I'm really hoping my boys will be easier in the teenage years than what girls are.

Thanks everyone for the replies. I have been busy implementing some tough love. I figure seeing as I am already the 'bad guy' that I might as well start living up to the rep. If she thinks being asked to take out the rubbish is tough, then wait until she walks into her bedroom....

DD's room has been cleaned out, she has a bed and clothes and that is IT! Oh and a dictionary and her school stuff.....

DD is still outside (atm in the rain) refusing to come inside. So tough and stubborn!

I am done with doing the D&M talks with her, I have tried until I am blue in the face and have had others do it too, like her Aunt and her Grandmother who she thinks the sun shines out their bum- nothing is working!!!

To top off today's drama she took my ipod to school again today, after being warned not to take it several times. TO get it she had to steal it from my room, it was not just left laying around because I have caught her trying to sneak it to school too often. When confronted she just shrugged and said 'Who cares what you say'. She has also taken money from my purse.....

I now face the prospect of having to lock all my valuables away from my own child.....it is a very confronting and sad day.

I thought I knew what I was doing as a parent, I now find I don't have a f'ing clue when it comes to this....
ohh mate sad my first thought was PMS however after reading more into your posts I'm thinking it's attitude and influences from friends/peers. My sister is 14 (going on 20) and thinks that she is top dog. No-one knows anything about anything but her. She shouldn't have to help out around the house as it's not "her" house. She shouldn't have to lift a finger for anything. Homework is dumb as she's at school X hours per day (when she doesn't wag that is) so why should she have to do more school work at home? bla bla bla She thinks that people with tatts, piercings, criminal records and addictions to drugs are oh so cool... not a happy picture.

Part of it I put down to her now knowing who she is yet and trying to figure that out. Being a teen isn't easy and being a teen in this day and age where pop culture have oversexualised EVERYTHING, technology has made life too fast and there are just way too many options out there - well it doesn't help the situation.

She wants to be treated as an adult then she should be made aware of what the role of an adult is. The adult gets to do super fun things like stay up late however there are also the crappy jobs like cleaning that go with it. Can you try to perhaps arrange an adult trial where you both compromise on what she can/can't do and what adult responsibilities come with those privileges?? would that work??
Casey, she just doesn't think she should have to do anything! I've tried the - you do this and then you get to do that type thing and she still doesn't do the couple of things asked. She just expects EVERYTHING and she has not been raised to think that way! I am at a loss....

A small victory....I just went outside to feed our dog and he didn't come when I called, found him with DD holed up in the cubby house (at least she was finally out of the rain). Confronted DD and called her bluff about sleeping outside. Told her if she decided to do that it was HER choice, not mine, I would NOT be held accountable for that choice when she had a warm dry house and bed on offer. She started mumbling about not being invited inside. Like she expected me to seek her out and ask her to please come inside....

In response to that I told her that it is her behaviour that is alienating her from her family, she is the one choosing to reject us with her very words and actions. I also told her that when I went to bed the doors would be locked to our house and that she had the choice now to come inside if she wished, she did not have to speak to us or even make eye contact....

She is now inside in the shower. One small victory for me, although it feels hollow and I shudder to think what tomorrow will bring.
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