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how would you feel Lock Rss

My dh and I had like a 15 minute exchange of words about how he thinks I negelect the dogs and that the kids never destroy anything on his watch. I was angry (hadn't had a lot of sleep the night before) I yelled at him in full hearing of the kids that I didn't want to be with him. I dont even know where it came from.

He than went on about how that is child abuse and that the kids will soon realise what type of woman I am. And that none of this is his fault and that I am saying that he has a part of own in our arguments. I jsut say that so that I feel better apparently.

I have for the past three weeks really been struggling with depression, I feel suicidal and I feel emence guilt everytime I do something wrong I mean like little things or yelling or being less than perfect.

So I wrote him a note saying I feel suicidal and depressed and Everything. I left it on his computer last night 5 hours after the disagreement.

When he came home from work he asked me nicely to go get him a case of beer. I thought ok you are going to be nice. Well got him the case of beer and he is instantly hating me.

About 30 minutes after he went to the computer I went and saw him and said what did you think of the letter. Oh it is just manipulation and you have made the whole thing up and if you feel suicidal well you best speak to someone that cares and that person is not me I dont care.

To say the least I am devo. I am finding it hard to function. I am going to see the doc next week and I am on edge crying all the time and I truly have no support.

I am weak and I try to do whatever I can to make the family happy. My dh knows that and treats me like dirt well because he can. I feel powerless I dont know how not to let it affect me.

Please help me know how you are strong against your dh's lack of care and him always thinking he is right.

I always want peace and I get very destressed and upset when I can't manage it. I am so anxious that he is angry at me. I mean I want to not care but dont know how.
and this morning he feels angry at me and says if you just didnt get angry or upset ever again I would support you but you have proven you cant so I dont care.
I think seeing your doc is a good thing, do you see a counsellor or psychologist at all??? Beating depression on your own is a very hard thing especially when you have someone sabotaging it every step of the way.

The only way you can have any power in the relationship is to take it how you can do that with depression I dont know, tbh you need to get that managed and under control first...

GBH sweetie

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I am seeing a therapist. Im just finding it so hard to not need reasurance and love.
I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time, but your DH sounds like he is in no way supportive of you, or your emotional needs at all! In fact, he sounds like an utter pig. You are screaming out to him for help, and he doesn't care - this is not the action of someone who loves or cares for you.

Do you have any support where you live? Someone to help with the kids, to sit and have a cuppa and a cry with? Someone to listen and actually hear what you are saying? Are you able to seek some counselling to help with your thoughts. You are smart enough to know that your thoughts aren't healthy, and you have taken an amazing step by writing your post. Have you seen anyone to help you through the depression?

Do you not want to be with him? Sometimes when people argue, the truth comes out in the heat of the moment. Would it be possible for you and him to have a break away from each other so you can re-evaluate your life and try to find some clarity? Would you be a happier, more stable person without him.

If you saw this post from someone else - what would you suggest they do? Sometimes taking a step back, and looking at it differently can help you work out what to do.

I'm not sure what to advise you to do. I know if I were being treated by a partner the way you are - I wouldn't stay there, it would destroy me as a person. I hope you can seek some help and counselling, and you can find a way through this grey patch. We are here to listen to you vent, and offer advise, I hope it helps in someway.

Best of luck to you love. I hope you find an answer and some support.
Firstly GBHs for you. The problem with depression is that unless you have gone through personally you really do not know how to offer support. I think you will find that a lot of partners out there are not very supportive. Some try, but just do not know how to provide the support that is needed. Other times partners are just jerks. I am not sure which is the case for your from your post. When you are going through depression you need to have people who offer support unconditionally. Maybe talk to your counsellor about your husband attending a session with you to work out if he can offer support in way that is helpful.
Good luck


Firstly GBHs for you. The problem with depression is that unless you have gone through personally you really do not know how to offer support. I think you will find that a lot of partners out there are not very supportive. Some try, but just do not know how to provide the support that is needed. Other times partners are just jerks. I am not sure which is the case for your from your post. When you are going through depression you need to have people who offer support unconditionally. Maybe talk to your counsellor about your husband attending a session with you to work out if he can offer support in way that is helpful.
Good luck


See the thing is my dh has had depression for over 7 yrs now and he should understand. sad

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time, but your DH sounds like he is in no way supportive of you, or your emotional needs at all! In fact, he sounds like an utter pig. You are screaming out to him for help, and he doesn't care - this is not the action of someone who loves or cares for you.

Do you have any support where you live? Someone to help with the kids, to sit and have a cuppa and a cry with? Someone to listen and actually hear what you are saying? Are you able to seek some counselling to help with your thoughts. You are smart enough to know that your thoughts aren't healthy, and you have taken an amazing step by writing your post. Have you seen anyone to help you through the depression?

Do you not want to be with him? Sometimes when people argue, the truth comes out in the heat of the moment. Would it be possible for you and him to have a break away from each other so you can re-evaluate your life and try to find some clarity? Would you be a happier, more stable person without him.

If you saw this post from someone else - what would you suggest they do? Sometimes taking a step back, and looking at it differently can help you work out what to do.

I'm not sure what to advise you to do. I know if I were being treated by a partner the way you are - I wouldn't stay there, it would destroy me as a person. I hope you can seek some help and counselling, and you can find a way through this grey patch. We are here to listen to you vent, and offer advise, I hope it helps in someway.

Best of luck to you love. I hope you find an answer and some support.


Ricki my answer would be leave. But it is so hard to think about when I already feel overwhelmed. I have to draw the line in the sand but I dont know how. I am going to the therapist again this week and hopefully he will help me.
so you give him all your support over those years and he cant give you any right now. selfish pratt!

Ricki my answer would be leave. But it is so hard to think about when I already feel overwhelmed. I have to draw the line in the sand but I dont know how. I am going to the therapist again this week and hopefully he will help me.

you may find that if you leave, you will be able to walk tall and have a HUGE weight lifted off your shoulders, and it may be something that is actually very healing for you IYKWIM.

I dont know how you would go about it either. I definitely think you need a break from him - he isn't helping you emotionally at all.

I hope your therapist has some answers for you. I hate to think you have to put up with his very negative attitude until then though. Good luck.

so you give him all your support over those years and he cant give you any right now. selfish pratt!


thats exactly how I feel. I feel like in my hour of need he doesn't care.

Also does anyone else fight or yell at each other? He says I am the only woman that does and he refuses to make up for 3 days. he knows it really upsets me but its like he enjoys seeing me be desparate for acceptance again.

WOw I am a weak person sad

See the thing is my dh has had depression for over 7 yrs now and he should understand. sad


I would probably say that he is being a jerk than angry

I would say that you should write down everything about how you feel at this point in time about your relationship with him. Put the list somewhere where you will not touch it until you are feeling calm. (maybe after you have seen your counsellor). Relook at the list when you are calm and than make the decision if you feel that these problems are something that you can work through. I think it is impossible to determine if you are able to make a relationship work when you are feeling this way.

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