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how would you feel Lock Rss



Also does anyone else fight or yell at each other? He says I am the only woman that does and he refuses to make up for 3 days. he knows it really upsets me but its like he enjoys seeing me be desparate for acceptance again.

WOw I am a weak person sad


All partners argue, but I think it is how you work through your problems that is the important thing. Refusing to speak to you for 3 days after is pretty immature.

You are NOT a weak person. Depression is a health issue that needs treatment and people who can offer support and love. By acknowledging that you have this condition and actively seeking support is a very brave step to take. Never forget this.


thats exactly how I feel. I feel like in my hour of need he doesn't care.
WOw I am a weak person sad

You are FAR from weak!!! You have been brow beaten, and you are letting him make you feel week. somehow you need to find yourself again - I'm not sure you can do that without him supporting you,
I've just read through this thread and I feel so angry for you. Your partner should be supporting you, especially as he has experienced depression himself, instead he's putting you down. I think, as Ricki has suggested, that the best thing you can do is go, even if it is only for a little while. I know that's easier said than done too.

Do you have family that is close to you that you could go to for a while, or a very close friend?

We're here for you if you need to talk. Please don't think you're on your own.

Great Big Hugs to you.

Sheridan


Also does anyone else fight or yell at each other? He says I am the only woman that does and he refuses to make up for 3 days. he knows it really upsets me but its like he enjoys seeing me be desparate for acceptance again.


we sure do fight. we dont yell cos that is not our temprement but we still fight. my dh is big on sorry's etc so our fights dont really last that long as he just doesnt let it. he either says sorry or drags one out of me. you are NOT the only women who yells at her dh. i am sure that there is a lot of women reading your posts who would be wanting a word with him too!

as for enjoy seeing you be desperate for acceptance, i am sorry to say that he just does not seem like a really nice guy at all.
What you guys have said is spot on and very hard to hear. My husband is not a very nice man most of the time. I suppose I make excuses for it but there are none. I have for so long thought and been told by him it is all my fault but it isn't. he doesn't help with the kids or housework at all. He will mind the kids for about an hour than ring me and say oh you have to come home if I ring him while I am out to say I love you or do you want anything he will yell at me on the phone to just get home stop mucking around.

Seriously I must sound so stupid to everyone here as I am sure most wouldn't put up wth their husbands being like this. I dont want to talk to my mum as she will jsut blab to everyone and than I will feel more like I can't do anything without everyone watching.

I lack self respect the therapists have said and they blame 90% of the issues on my husband saying he is just got the view that nothing is his fault. He manipulates me all he can because he knows I love him and that it will work. He punishes me for his mothers short commings and man she is the reason this whole thing has happen. he suffered extreme abuse as a child and now I pay for it. But I shouldn't have to and I am not making excuses for him any more.

Im totally scared and unsure of how to proceed. Im pretty sure he doesn't love me or even care for me but than every now and again he is tender and I feel good about us and think things will be different.

he says that I try and paint the picture that I am perfect to the thereapists. Well they would disagree I spend most of the time saying I do this which makes him do that. To which they say. UMMM no he is goading you and hates seeing you happy.
This man is abusing you emotionally and verbally. It can destroy your very existence and proof that it is. He has suffered from depression and he doesnt want to deal with his own depression so he drags you into his dark hole with him. Why should he be the only one to suffer (is what he thinks).

My ex was emotionally & verbally abusive until one day he cracked the shits cause I put the recycling bin out on the wrong day. I said at least I tried I think a thanks for trying would be nice. He turned around and said you can't do anything right......(words I cant repeat). I snapped put my hands up & said thats it Ive had enough of your abuse. I'm done.
I wanted to get couples counselling a year prior but he said it was all me that was the problem & that he didnt need counselling.

I had to move on. Otherwise I was going to lose what was left of my self esteeme. I to felt depressed cried all the time and dreaded going home after work.

It was the best thing I ever did. Sure I loved him otherwise I wouldn't have stuck around for 5 years. But in the end I just realised I could live without him and his behaviour. It hurts for a while. But I felt liberated once I got my own place & my freedom to come and go as I pleased. I found who I was again and a year later met my dream man.

Emotional & verbal abuse is as devastating as physical abuse. Don't stick around because of children. Ask yourself do you really want your kids raised in a hostil environment thinkning its ok to treat the people you supposedly love like that?

Best Of Luck & I hope you find the strength and answers you need.

AM NO LONGER TINKERING WITH THE TICKER HMPH!

Likrish the things I have described did your ex do this to you? Did you fight him and always get blamed for it.

He is still not talking to me over what I did on Friday I mean seriously I yelled at him in a stressed moment and I have now had 2.5 days of anger. And when I confronted him this morning he said that I should jsut f*** off and leave him alone.

I truly know I am being abused. And you are right he is pulling me into his hole. Today I have started to feel better. I am just taking steps to help myself and it is going well. I will get through this and I wont be a door mat.
Drawn line in sand. Will see where this goes. I have gone from been sorry that I am a failure. To what the heck am I thinking. This guy is a moron and loser. No more.

He has thrown the last gift I gave him up and in my face as how dare I spend any of HIS money. (UMMM WHAT THE HECK) So I went back to Big W of all places and returned it (to be honest it had just exploded up the walls of my kitchen when we tried to make cofee).

Anyway I am sick of being the victim. I thank you all for your ideas. I truly am thankful. I just need to start on making my life better.

And when I confronted him this morning he said that I should jsut f*** off and leave him alone.

Leave him alone, let him wallow in his self pity. Dont let him drag you down with him, I wouldn't be waiting for him to grow up love, you are better than that!


I truly know I am being abused. I will get through this and I wont be a door mat.

GOOD GIRL!!!!, see, I told you that you are far from weak! No-one has the right to treat you as a door-mat, nor emotionally abuse you the way that he is. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS, I have every bit of confidence that you will. It's not going to be easy, but we are all here to help where we can.



Drawn line in sand. Will see where this goes. I have gone from been sorry that I am a failure. To what the heck am I thinking. This guy is a moron and loser. No more.

Well done!!! You arent the failure in this - the way he is treating you is the thing that is failing. No-one who loves a person treats them like this. I am so glad that you are seeing things a bit clearer today.


Anyway I am sick of being the victim. I thank you all for your ideas. I truly am thankful. I just need to start on making my life better.

You ARE very strong B, just give yourself the chance to show it. I am glad you can see that you are a victim in all of this, and that you are certainly not the cause. Your right, you do need to make your life better, I hope you can work out where to start and what you need to do this - I really cant see your DH ever helping you achieve it though.
Best of luck and love to you B - you will find your way through and you will shine once again when you get there.
If you need help to leave please call your local women refuge.

Hugs Ness

Yes everything & argument came back on me. The constant torment turned me to drinking a bottle of wine a night. It was easier blocking out the crap. Of all things it was chatting to people on line that made me realise I was flogging a dead horse & that I deserved better.
I could never make uninformed decisions about anything like large purchases or paint colours without his approval.

Its soul destroying after a while. After him I spent a year single to sort myself out. Reassuring myself that I am in fact a good person & that there is someone out there that will love me for me and all my wonderful flaws.

Its just the initial step of wondering if you can survive on your own. I got a feeling he has made you believe you can't live without him and that you could never survive. Brainwashing you to believe that your incapable of making it financially and emotionally. Would I be right?

Anyway at least the light is on at the end of your tunnel. Its just the final courage to put your hands up and say thats it Im done here.

Good luck.

AM NO LONGER TINKERING WITH THE TICKER HMPH!

I've just read through this thread and wanted to say that I hope you stick to your resolve! Your husband sounds like a very manipulative selfish man. It's not my place to say but I think that you are stronger than you give yourself crdeit for, and your own mental health would be much better for not having his influence in your life. All the best to you, Australia is a great country in that we have wonderful resources available for women who need them.
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