Huggies Forum

Im not coping :( Rss

Well its day 3 being at home with the kids and im really not coping at all!! I feel like a $hit mum to be honest. Both kids were crying and I just didnt know what to do so I yelled at DS1 to be quite which was horrible sad DS1 behaviour has changed and I know he is just feeding off me.

I have no idea what im doing with DS2. I mean I have had a new born before so should know what im doing but I feel so lost. House is the pits, im absolutely exhausted and I knew this would be hard but not this hard., I hoenstly thought I would cope and I would be okay but doesnt seem to be the case.

I know there will be good and bad days but just waiting for the good days to come. Im shattered by 6pm and would love some help but DH has a fight coming up in 6 weeks which means he trains 6days a week and doesnt get home till 10pm by that time both kids are in bed. I would love for him to stay home and help but this is a big deal for him so trying to support him as much as I can.

With 1 kid you can have a break when they sleep but with 2 when 1 goes down the other is up for a feed than when that one goes down the other one is up. Im getting out of the house which is a good thing but the weather is getting pretty cold and dont really want to take a new born out.

As much as I love being able to breastfeed DS2 I wish I could just have a break with out this kid stuck on my tit all day. Plus I feel like I dont know my breasts iykwim? I know im still learning but I just feel so lost like I dont know whats going on or what to do next with feeding. Please tell me someone knows what im on about lol

Just having a whinge really. Doesnt help having visitors in the house when all you want to do is cry but the last thing you want is people on your back asking whats wrong. I really am trying my best to be a good mother to both our children but just doesnt seem to be happening.

Im trying not to feel bad that DS1 is watching too much t.v or he is having late nights or he doesnt get as many cuddles. Stupid mothers guilt. To add to it all I got asked how far along I was today sad

Thanks if you got this far smile now I can stop feeling sorry for my self lol.

If I was your friend and lived near you I would come and help you smile
Do you have anyone you can ask for help from? Don't be afraid to ask.
sweetheart, you are very entitled to venting, whinging whatever.

All I really have to say to you is you are NOT a crap parent, your body has just gone through an extremely stressful stage, you're readjusting to a new family environment and all of that is stressful.

Rest when you can.

Don't worry about your DS watching too much tv. If you need a break and you're not coping, put him in front of the tv and go have a rest.

Talk to your DH and let him know you're struggling to cope and would like a little more assistance.

and once again, SLEEEEEEEP as much as you can! Life is 50x worse when you're going on little or no sleep.

You'll get there hun! Those good days are coming. Just try to get some more support you if you can.

Keep your head up!!
xx
Where about are you from? I think from memory your are from NSW but not sure what area
Thanks ladies im in NSW Sydney. DH is home tonight and I told him we need to have a chat so will be talking to him tonight. My mum lives with us but shes sick at the moment but she helps out where she can.

Bit of a loser and dont have friends lol im not afraid to ask for help but just have no one to ask. I think I might look into getting a cleaner just to help out a bit. I always feel like crap when the house is a mess, you know how clutter can make you feel like crap sometimes?

probably doesnt help ive been up since 4am and my mind is so clouded at the moment. I dont feel depressed or anything like that just crap ya know?

It does get better.
DH was doing 4/1 roster when I had DD2 talk about chaos!
I think we ate mostly takeaway while he was at work.

Like PP don't worry about the tv and if you need sleep get an activity you know will keep DS busy for 30 min when bub is sleeping and go have a nap yourself.

As far as the house work it will always be there, just tackle little bits here and there and if you have a day where you don't do anything does it really matter right now?

Firstly, let me say you are doing a great job and are anything but a s**t mother.

Secondly, i am so relieved to read your post as you have just described my life at the moment down to a T...and i am so sorry that someone else feels this way.

I think we just need to take one day at a time. Try not to think too far ahead and deal with each issue seperately. Once you get over one hurdle then move onto the next(if there is one). Try to give yourself some credit you are doing a wonderful job.

All the best of luck.

(now to take some of my own advice....lol)

Amanda

It does get better.
DH was doing 4/1 roster when I had DD2 talk about chaos!
I think we ate mostly takeaway while he was at work.

Like PP don't worry about the tv and if you need sleep get an activity you know will keep DS busy for 30 min when bub is sleeping and go have a nap yourself.

As far as the house work it will always be there, just tackle little bits here and there and if you have a day where you don't do anything does it really matter right now?


Forgot to add the amount of takeaway as well lol. See I have a bit of a thing with cleaning, I panick a bit when the house isnt clean and I get real grumpy if there is mess. I always feel better in a tidy house, dont laugh lol

I'm in SYdney So if thats near you and you need a hand or a chat and coffee just let me know.

I have been though having the 2 and it will get better for you. If your DS watches to much tv it doesn't matter as long as he is happy thats all that matters
Sending you a gbh. I have no advice to give to you since i only have 1 child to look after but i think you doing a great job and stop being so hard on yourself.





I'm in Western SYdney (Glenmore Park) So if thats near you and you need a hand or a chat and coffee just let me know.

I have been though having the 2 and it will get better for you. If your DS watches to much tv it doesn't matter as long as he is happy thats all that matters



Thanks smile I might take you up on that offer sometime. DS couldnt be more happy with the t.v its like xmas for him. off to bath and feed thanks for the replies ladies im sitting here bawling my eyes out which feels alot better. Thank you for listening/reading

Hi, Hang in there, I know it is tough but it will get better. Can you look at any volunteers in the area. Speak to the local baby clinic and ask about volunteers. Some come and help with the baby and some come and help with the cleaning.

Can you afford to get a cleaner, just once maybe a fortnight. This will make the house feel better and make you feel better.

Understand about getting up all the time. I had twins as my first babies so understand about that a lot. It is a shock to the system.

You do need to talk to your husband and ask him for more help. What about family can they come and give you a break or any friends?

Do you go to a baby group if so maybe you can get support there. I know you are just going through a rough patch and it is just the reality and dealing with it and getting used to it is hard and an adjustment.

Do your parents live near by? I think you need to ask for some more help. We are not super women and men arn't either. I know it is hard and I tried not to, but my mum came and stayed a couple of nights during the week until the babies were 3 months on and it was great, had help with the house work and that was the main thing.

I froze dinners for about 3 months before I had the babies and that helped a great deal. Maybe get people if they are coming to bring dinner for you so you don't have to worry about it. When you next cook make heaps and freeze it.

Is there a way that the older child can go to childcare at least one day a week so that it gives you a break and can focus just on one baby? Just a thought. My girls go to childcare one day a week and it is a lifesaver. I have found just that day is great to get things done for me and to have some time to myself. You can even get a mate to mind the baby so that you can go and get a facial or just go shopping without having to worry about little people with you.

Chin up and I hope things get better soon. Hot showers and nice warm PJ's are just the treat and maybe some takeaway so that you don't have to be bothered.

Hugs,
Suzanne
Sign in to follow this topic