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Huggies Forum

dont know what to do Rss

thanks for the replies everyone really appreciate it. have spoken to some my 2 brothers and DP, and things are ok now, dont care bout the rest of them they believe what they want.

My neighbor has a similar story to this and she does not talk to her mother or the step-father.
i would not be getting in to contact with this man its like hes looking at your kids for his next fix and let your mother say what she likes, she obviously thinks this behaviour is normal and it not. i would be removing both of them from your life you dont need people like that in your life.
The only person who can protect you, is you. You have every right not to want to see this person and if it were me he would have been charged and in prison by now. Your mother won' t be able to help you as it happened to her and she has her on demons to play with.

You need to stay away from this person and if possible lay charges against him. What'sto say he doesn't do it again.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Although I wast sexually abused, I was physically, emotionally and mentally abused by my father. Although we have worked things out, it caused slot of damage that is still not fully repaired, but I can now live a fairly normal life.

I hope you can work through this. Just remember you ae the only one who can allow someone to hurt you now. Say no when you need to and mean it.
i would stop seeing them...simple
I've been in a similar situation. For my own safety i broke off all contact, years and years later my mum came to the conclusion that i wasn't lying and initiated contact with me. On the proviso that the "uncle" was never to be told my location or personal details we have very slowly been re-building our relationship. It is a very hard and painful decision to make to stop contacting your Mum but for both your safety and your children's it might need to be done. If you are seeing a counsellor they can help you to do it in such away that you don't destroy any possibility of having a relationship with your family in the future. If you are not seeing some support maybe now is the time to think about doing so. Goodluck and remember there is help out there for you.
thanks for the replies.

i guess its pretty much a vent of a very sensitive kind

You do what you want to do, whats right for you and your family. I have been in the same place as you are with my family. Dont let this get to you. You know the truth and all those that have turned on you for telling the truth are not friends and you will be better off without them, Yes it will hert you every now and then and its ok to be hert.

Talk to someone close to you so you can get it all out so you can think with a clear head if you want to. Dont let these ppl get the better of you now just look at where you have come from and where you are going, you have done lots of fantastic things in your life. You have come this far and now and you have your own family and thats what you should be worrying now.

Be Strong Belive in yourself
Sorry but your mother is a b1tch!
How can you not believe your own child and then go telling everyone that you're making it up.

As for the ANIMAL that did this to you, IT can go take a long walk off a short pier then you know that your kids and anyone else's are safe.

BIG HUGS to you.
Itmight be my age(38)..but at this point in my life, if i had all that to deal with, i would seriously be washing my hands of the lot of them... If you feel that you can live without them,but not actually be able to get over the abuse and the neglect. i would also go to counselling for those issues and get some help with how to live in peace with a life without the family around..... with family like that, you really don't need enemies...Life is to short to be in constant fear and sadness.. So head high, get some help if you need..(for you and your needs) and have a wonderful, stress and guilt free life with the beautiful family you have created.. YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!xoxoxoxoxo

8 babies..5boys 3 girls

As others have said, you need to do whatever is necessary to keep yourself and your children safe. No matter what your mother thinks, what was done to you DID happen and WAS NOT your fault. Your mother is probably scared, maybe she wasn't believed when she told someone what had happened to her - or maybe she was told it was her fault. Or something. But it doesn't excuse her behaviour. And you do not need such toxic people in your life, or in your childrens' lives.

I imagine the thought of losing your relationship with your mother is painful, just as much as the thought of "having" to have contact with your half-brother is painful (and angry-making, and sickening, and a million other things). But is maintaining the relationship worth the cost?

For me, it wouldn't be.

My mother has cut off contact with her mother over similar issues - not that my grandmother doesn't believe what went on, but she never did anything to stop it (my grandfather abusing my mother, her sister, her cousin, possibly her brother,my grandmother's sister, my sister, possibly me, possibly other children on the other side of the family, and who knows how many others) even though she has to have been aware of what was going on.

A few years ago my grandfather tried to make contact with me (through my family, not directly). The very thought of it just made me feel sick - and we don't even know if he abused me, there are only hints that he might have, not definite memories etc like others have. But while I still see my grandmother, there is NO WAY I will ever see my grandfather again, and NO WAY he will ever, EVER meet any of my children.

*hugs* to you. It's an awful thing to have to deal with.

thanks again, i feel better now, knowing that others would do the same

Good on you. You are a strong and brave woman, and your children will learn so much from the example you are setting.

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