I really hate doing this but I just gotta get it out before I explode !!

Hubby and I are mid thirties as well, and 6 months ago we moved into a home that took us over three years to build. We did a hellofalot of it ourselves, and it was a hard slog. A lot of sacrifices along the way as well. But, in building it, it has put us into debt - not a huge amt going by what a lot of ppl we know oew, but we wanted a home that we would have for a long time, and we wanted it to be all about us. And it is. We could have stayed in the dog box that we lived in, and owed not a cent, but, we wanted comfort. In the building though, we did have luxuries and the odd holiday - nothing flash, but it was valuable family time. You can't get that back.

I have a BIL who is very wealthy. Very. BUT, their holidays revolve around leaving their daughter with grandparents while they have 'time to themselves'.These people are very self centred and I look at them at think that they are unhappy. I think the years of hard slog to get where he his, took the joy from their lives.
I work, I earn decent money, dh doesn't have a consistent income, but we do ensure that whilst we save, we enjoy life and spend time together.
I hope you can sit down with hubby and talk to him about these things. Kids grow way too quickly, and it would be a shame if you all missed a few fun times together.
Michelle

I dont ever want to go on a holiday with out my kids ..I dont dislike them that much ....yet !! lol lol lol

I know I need to talk to him about this ..but here is my problem ..I find it impossible to talk to ..he either talks over the top of me or he falls asleep mid convo ....it is frustrating ..and when he does stay awake ..he generally has no idea what I am talking about ....

We will be ok .....I just wish I was on the top of someones list ..I know my kids love me ..but they have to ..they are kids !!! lol lol lol ...I want someone to choose to put me at the top ...it gets lonely down here on my own !!

Poor frankie sad

I know I need to talk to him about this ..but here is my problem ..I find it impossible to talk to ..he either talks over the top of me or he falls asleep mid convo ....it is frustrating ..and when he does stay awake ..he generally has no idea what I am talking about ....

When you sit down to talk to him, put your hand on his leg and look him in the eye. It is harder to fall asleep when you have eye contact. If he does fall asleep, with your hand already in prime position on his leg, pluck out a leg hair. Trust me, they wake up pretty quick.

and with regards to getting you DH to listen... can't help you there. I can't manage to get mine to. But if it's really important to you you need to find a way because bottled up feelings are never good!

When you sit down to talk to him, put your hand on his leg and look him in the eye. It is harder to fall asleep when you have eye contact. If he does fall asleep, with your hand already in prime position on his leg, pluck out a leg hair. Trust me, they wake up pretty quick.

crikey lady ...I would prefer you to be a friend then an enemy lol lol ll ...I was sure you were going to say something other then that when you talked about having your hand in prime position !! Lol lol lol

remind me to shave next time I plan to piss you off ~~!! lol lol ..

p.s ...I taught Luke to pull the hair on his big toe when he snores to loudly in the recliner ! lol lol ...now that my dear is funny !! LMAO !! Lol lol lol

crikey lady ...I would prefer you to be a friend then an enemy lol lol ll ...I was sure you were going to say something other then that when you talked about having your hand in prime position !! Lol lol lol

remind me to shave next time I plan to piss you off ~~!! lol lol ..

p.s ...I taught Luke to pull the hair on his big toe when he snores to loudly in the recliner ! lol lol ...now that my dear is funny !! LMAO !! Lol lol lol

Oh god that would hurt so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frankie - I missed the original post, but going on all the other replies I reckon you have just described my life!!
We have our own business, DF works 14hr days (that includes travel). On the days that he does come home early, I am at work and not home til 8pm myself. When he is home it's like he has no energy left for us, and also falls asleep at the drop of a hat. I can tell him something one night and the following, he has no idea what I'm talking about!
We also have set ourselves goals, paying off the business debts in 5yrs, paying off the house in 10yrs etc etc, but lately I really have been wondering if it is all really worth it.
We also want to move onto acreage and away from the 'burbs. I would love to be able to see my boys running around and riding bikes and having trees to climb in, etc etc!

I really feel like our relationship has taken a bit of a bashing lately, and am trying to work out how to fix it before it gets too late. The way I've been seeing it lately is, there's no point to the financial/materialistic happiness if it means our relationship fails and our children come from a broken home. DF unfortunatley justs sees the end result and can't see what's happening right in front of him at the moment!

So really, I'm sorry but I'm no help to you whatsoever cos I don't know how to fix my problems, but just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel, you are not alone, yip it sucks, and hopefully one day somehow it will all be better!!! LOL

Frankie - I missed the original post, but going on all the other replies I reckon you have just described my life!!
We have our own business, DF works 14hr days (that includes travel). On the days that he does come home early, I am at work and not home til 8pm myself. When he is home it's like he has no energy left for us, and also falls asleep at the drop of a hat. I can tell him something one night and the following, he has no idea what I'm talking about!
We also have set ourselves goals, paying off the business debts in 5yrs, paying off the house in 10yrs etc etc, but lately I really have been wondering if it is all really worth it.
We also want to move onto acreage and away from the 'burbs. I would love to be able to see my boys running around and riding bikes and having trees to climb in, etc etc!

I really feel like our relationship has taken a bit of a bashing lately, and am trying to work out how to fix it before it gets too late. The way I've been seeing it lately is, there's no point to the financial/materialistic happiness if it means our relationship fails and our children come from a broken home. DF unfortunatley justs sees the end result and can't see what's happening right in front of him at the moment!

So really, I'm sorry but I'm no help to you whatsoever cos I don't know how to fix my problems, but just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel, you are not alone, yip it sucks, and hopefully one day somehow it will all be better!!! LOL

I am sorry you in this mess also ..but I really appreciate knowing someone else knows how I feel ..thanks !!

Hope we both get through this ...I have a good man ...just incredably focused !! xoxo

I have a good man ...just incredably focused !! xoxo

And I guess that that right there is what tells us that we will be ok!

I am grateful that he works so hard for us, and I know he has all our interests at heart (as I'm sure your DH does also). Underneath it all, we really are lucky to have them!

Feel free to PM me any time, we have actually met before, but it was only the once and you probably don't remember, but you left a good lasting impression!! LOL!! Hope that doesn't sound too freaky and weird! LOL!!

GBH sweetie if you wanna complain go ahead and complain you've got every right to.. don't anyone let you feel like what you have to say isn't important

And I guess that that right there is what tells us that we will be ok!

I am grateful that he works so hard for us, and I know he has all our interests at heart (as I'm sure your DH does also). Underneath it all, we really are lucky to have them!

Feel free to PM me any time, we have actually met before, but it was only the once and you probably don't remember, but you left a good lasting impression!! LOL!! Hope that doesn't sound too freaky and weird! LOL!!

really ???? we have met ??? eeek ...hope I wasnt a cow !! LMAO !! ......pm-ing you now !! lol lol

the hair pulling might work. just the threat of it gets a reaction here.
Seriously though, if you need to talk about it you NEED to talk about and he needs to listen. Perhaps a letter? would that work?