Huggies Forum

To bother or not to? Lock Rss

I just wanted people's view would you be annoyed,

The kids get to catch up with there nanna (my mum), maybe once a fortnight or every 3 weeks depending what her work roster is.

And when we catch up its always at the playcentre because nanna doesnt like the kids coming over because they can't sit still and she has a nice house.

Every time we meet up with her she says i can only stay a hour or two and my friend so and so is dropping in for coffee ( at playcentre) to catch up with me. So in the end she spends the whole time talking to her friend and doesnt really spend any time with the kids.

I just end up sitting there because the conversation rarely includes me.


I have three kids 6 months, 2.5 and 3.5 my mother has never ever baby sat not even in a emergency because she isnot really a kid person, she was never a warm and fuzy mum. She wont come to our house we live 40 minutes away, i offer to drive to her but most of the time she says no im busy or im off to do this.

I just start to wonder why i bother any more making a effort because if i didnt ring her she wouldnt ring us for weeks.

Most of the time i just feel like a total stranger to my own mother.

Sorry for the vent

Kelly
oh Kelly im sorry to hear this sometimes its not worth the heartache hun i wouldnt bother with her if that was me save alot of stress on you.

i dont have anything to do with mum due to her drama she like to cause and make trouble for me so i would rather my children not know her then be around her and she sits in pub every day drinking not the best situation for kids to be in.

so i hope that has helped you

good luck and GBH

Sally
GBH to you both. I'm sorry to hear you dont have the relationship you would like with your mum.
I Dont feel I can give advice as I have a great relationship with mine and she just adores her grandkids and even offers to babysit (she lives 50 min away.
But to answer your Question I would be annoyed if my mum was like yours VERY annoyed and would prob stop making an effort.

I can relate to what you are saying, and yes it hurts when mums are strangers like that. My suggestion in this senerio would be; suggest to her that you want some family time with her and the kids, and the original idea of here coming to the playcentre was to see the kids, not to catch up with everyone else at the same time. Ask her how she feels about this. Hopefully she is receptive to this and you can say going forward, you would appreciate it if she spent this small amout if time with you and the kids, and catch up with her friends after. With my mother I try to start things with, 'I feel', as opposed to 'you did or do not etc etc'. Also one thing I find handy with awkward conversations (espically my mother), remember to pause when you finish what you are saying, silence actually encourages the other party to speak.
oh I forgot to say, after that convo, you could ring her before the playsentre meeting and ask her if it was just going to be you guys today. If she says she has invited others, tell her that perhaps it would be better for her to come next week then, as the kids/or you were looking forward to spending that time with her, (thats maybe a way to keep it light hearted as well, instead of just telling her to pull her head out of here **^&^&^) smile
tbh i wouldnt bother. i keep saying on here that our kids are worth peoples times. they should be climbing over each other to see them. so when you have to (in essence) force your mum to see your kids and at that time she doesnt even spend the time with them, why put yourself through that.

let it go. she might get the hint and start making an effort herself, and if not, you can use your time more wisely with people who actually deserve to see your kids and you.
Yeah i'd be pretty annoyed, can't offer any advice my mum is the opposite, i see her a couple times a week and i can't talk to her because she's to busy with the kids!! We have regular phone calls so we can talk because it just doesn't happen when she's around the kids, they have a great relationship!
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