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Is THIS what its all about? Lock Rss

I love being a mum. I love my daughter and want more babies.

I am just finding it hard to get it through my head that this is MY job now.

Before DD I had a career and responsbilities at work. I worked my way up to a senior role and I was well respected. I worked hard to get where I was.

I dont think I will ever be housewife of the year. I do the basic clean but much rather spend my time playing and entertaining DD.

Is it normal to find the adjustment so hard? I just cant equate my new responsibilities as being as important as my career.
can you do both. i do and am very happy doing so. i could not be sahm nor could i work full time without feeling torn somehow. this way you can have the best of both worlds.
Hi there,

It did take me a while to get my head around too.

I'm similiar to you, I'll never be the clean freaky housewife of the year either.

But it is hard to get your head around the career and then changing to mum thing. Just remember though that the 'mum' job is the hardest, longest and most committed job you'll ever take part in.

You will reap the rewards well after you've finished with the young child responsibilities.

I too have struggled with the change over in expectation etc.... but now thoroughly enjoy my new role in the world.

And there's always the chance to return to the workforce...

Lottie

I love being a mum. I love my daughter and want more babies.

I am just finding it hard to get it through my head that this is MY job now.

Before DD I had a career and responsbilities at work. I worked my way up to a senior role and I was well respected. I worked hard to get where I was.

I dont think I will ever be housewife of the year. I do the basic clean but much rather spend my time playing and entertaining DD.

Is it normal to find the adjustment so hard? I just cant equate my new responsibilities as being as important as my career.



i still feel that way some days and my DD is 2.5 yrs old lol
it took me a long time to adjust to parenting. i never had the problem of equating one set of responsibilities as being more important than another though because to me, the parenting job is far more important and i take it much more seriously than i have any other job - even when im trying to take a stool sample like i was tonight LOL i considered myself quite the nurse tongue

I love being a mum. I am proud of the job i have done raising my DD so far and i think ive done a pretty good job if i say so myself. But i do still go through patches where i feel like "i cant wait to get my life back" Not so much my old life, but just the selfishness of not having to constantly put your needs after someone elses.
I spend so much time doing things for other people. caring for my DD, looking after our animals, cleaning the house, cooking, shopping, going to appointments for DD, the dog, helping DH with our business where i can. i feel like by the end of the day, the couple of hours where i finally get me time is spent wasting away the evening on the computer or in front of the tv. So in that sense i look forward to "getting my life back" because once ive finished having kids and they are at school i will get a lot more time to do things for myself. i suppose if i had DD in child care i'd have more of an opportunity now but i choose not to put her in care for our own reasons and so i only get a break when MIL offers me a couple of hours here or there.

Sorry for rambling but i guess what im saying is sometimes it is the best, most fun, rewarding job in the world. but sometimes we can easily get lost in it and forget that we have needs and wants and desires as well. i struggled for a long time with that and its only been recently i have really started making time for myself, looking into studying, making an effort with my appearance and going out with friends kid free etc when i get an opportunity. but yes, in my experience, it definately is hard.

can you do both. i do and am very happy doing so. i could not be sahm nor could i work full time without feeling torn somehow. this way you can have the best of both worlds.


I work up to 10 hours a week ATM.

The thing is I want to badly to be a SAHM. I think its the mum part I can deal with but the "housewife" part I am not so good at.

I just keep saying oh, the bathroom will be ok until tomorrow. Then before I know it its been 3-4 days before I do it.

Gosh I am being a trivial whingeing b*itch
Ok forgive me while I get on my soapbox.....


I view the role of being a Mum to be much more important than any career could ever be......

You are responsible for raising a tiny human/s, loving, supporting, understanding, forgiving them when and where it is needed throughout your lifespan....raising them and caring for them until they are adults and beyond (until your last breath really). I think the role of Mother (and Parent) is so undervalued by so many people. It is the ultimate responsibility we can ever have entrusted to us. Just because we don't have reports, timelines or monetary rewards we doubt that value. The success and happiness of our children is our ultimate reward.....

Ok, getting off my soapbox now,lol.
Thanks lottie and mummytoashlee. You have described how I am feeling to a T.

I was feeling selfish, and wasnt sure if it was normal to find it so hard to transition.

I have said to so many people that this is much much harder than working my old job (50+ hours per week with alot of responsibilities).

I work up to 10 hours a week ATM.

The thing is I want to badly to be a SAHM. I think its the mum part I can deal with but the "housewife" part I am not so good at.

I just keep saying oh, the bathroom will be ok until tomorrow. Then before I know it its been 3-4 days before I do it.

Gosh I am being a trivial whingeing b*itch


oh man, i will never get the housewife part down pat either. there will never be a day where i will be excited about doing any manual labour around the house. with me, it is all about routine. you will come up with your own way of doing things that is acceptable to you. the hardest thing i found is you need to put mothering first, housework second. i am sure you are doing a great job at both.

Ok forgive me while I get on my soapbox.....


I view the role of being a Mum to be much more important than any career could ever be......

You are responsible for raising a tiny human/s, loving, supporting, understanding, forgiving them when and where it is needed throughout your lifespan....raising them and caring for them until they are adults and beyond (until your last breath really). I think the role of Mother (and Parent) is so undervalued by so many people. It is the ultimate responsibility we can ever have entrusted to us. Just because we don't have reports, timelines or monetary rewards we doubt that value. The success and happiness of our children is our ultimate reward.....

Ok, getting off my soapbox now,lol.


No thank you! Thats just what I need. I know its hard. I didnt explain myself well in my original post. I suppose the thing is when I was working I saw more instant reward/results as I got paid and I had developed a really great relationship with the staff.

Its so much harder and slower to see the results with a baby. The weeks just tick by I cant believe how old she is getting.
Is there any chance you can get a cleaner?

I strongly believe that if you can afford it, it improves things drastically.

Is there any chance you can get a cleaner?

I strongly believe that if you can afford it, it improves things drastically.


I have been thinking about this lately....
Here's how I look at it. When I was working outside the house I had a high-stress job. People were always 'the world is going to end' drama queens about things getting done by a particular date etc, couldn't stay home when sick because xyz wouldn't get done blah blah blah. I left to have my baby and guess what? The workplace kept going. No one had breakdowns. The world didn't even come close to ending.

With my children there is no stress. If the washing doesn't get done today it'll get done tomorrow. The world isn't going to go into meltdown because of the state of my floors (although my mother might if she saw them right now!!!). But if I up and left, the lives of my children would be affected dramatically. I am so much more important and irreplacable in this role than in any paid employment I could ever find.

About the only thing I really miss about 'going to work' are the birthday morning teas and the Friday night 'wine-down' ;-D
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