Be comfortable in your skin – this is a judgement free zone. Find out more!

Huggies Forum

Just getting this out... Rss

I can't say it on FB and don't want to alert my extended family (only to have them worry)....so here is where I have decided to....not vent....offload, I guess.

Feel free not to read, I just need to get it out!!!

DD1 who is a teenager has given us some rough times in the last year or so, with attitude, rebelling etc...I know it is normal teenage behaviour....doesn't make it any easier to live with or deal with on a daily basis.

Some people here know that at one stage earlier this year she took off from home and we had to call the police when night fell and she had not returned (scared me even though we live in a small town where most people know us).

Anyway, she had been on the improve. Last night though she got physically violent with me when I tried to go into her bedroom to talk to her, literally trying to crush my body with the door and then pushing and shoving me after I asked her to stop sad Her aim was to try to hurt me....she succeeded...just not on a physical level.

This morning I have woken to a note taped to her open doorway, screen removed from the window and no DD. The note basically reads..."don't worry Mum, don't call the police, I am staying with a friend but will come back when I cool down.....at least she left a note this time sad

I just fear where she is going to be in a years time if this is how she is acting at age 13, we are not horrible people, we ask that she show respect with the way she speaks to and treats people and we ask that she contributes a small amount to the family and helping out with chores...that is it!

*sigh* I know no one has the answer or some magical cure for teenage rebellion, I don't expect an answer or advice really, I'm just getting it out because I need too. Hubby is asleep after a long night with little sleep (we were both upset with how angry and violent she got with me over nothing)so just spilling my guts here. I don't want to call my Mum etc, last time they freaked and felt helpless because they live so far away.

Anyway...might go make myself another coffee and then snuggle with the other kids.
No I do not have the answer but I wish I could come sit with you and give you a big hug.... thinking of you...
i think I will appreciate my 4 yo that is being royal brat this mornign just a little bit more smile
Oh and we tried after the last disappearance to get her to agree to attend counselling, through the school counsellor or through the local psychologist etc, thinking we could all benefit as a family....she refuses to go alone or with us....you can't make a person go or share their thoughts or feelings or make them listen or use the tools that these people can suggest. so where does that leave us?
GBH. That's about the best I can do sad I'm so sorry she is giving you such a hard time and I really hope she finds her way soon, and it doesn't take something drastic to do it sad

Kids - who'd have em?!

No I do not have the answer but I wish I could come sit with you and give you a big hug.... thinking of you...
i think I will appreciate my 4 yo that is being royal brat this mornign just a little bit more smile


Thanks for the hug Jess, I could use one (or a million right about now) not feeling very loved atm.

Oh give me a 4yo tantrum any day over a teen tantrum,lol.


Kids - who'd have em?!


I often say this. Then I follow it up with a...."Oh, wait,that would be ME! lol

Big hugs dee hoping things only get better for you, vent anytime you need. I know i was a royal pain in the bum for my mum it got to a breaking point and we got past it after some time and we are much stronger for it now, there will be a light at the end of this horrible tunnel xoxox


Thanks for the hug. I gave my own Mum hell. Thinking I should ring and apologise to her again today, only it would tip her off that DD was giving me hell.
no answers here either and i suspect that you living in a small town makes it not so scary for her to take off and go to a friends house. it is not such a big hike for her??

the physical stuff is a real no no though and not normal behaviour imo. just like she deserves to be treated with respect, so do you. how you even go about all this is beyond me though.

and she is only 13 with a whole lot of teenage years ahead of her...i'd say nip it in the bud but once again how? and how do you do it in a way that doesnt make her leave? no idea sorry sad
Hey Dee, you say you live in a small town, do you know the local police well???

A while back we had a kid here going the same way, though his included graffiti as well, but stealing form parents, running off etc, mum got desperate and asked the police what she could do.... they found him and took him in put him in the cells and had a good long chat to him, they were not rough or nasty they just had a chat about where his behaviour would eventually get him etc and that if it continued they would be taking it further, the poor kid was terrified when they picked him up in the police car but so far so good.....
I'm sorry you are having such a stressful time- GBH!!

I was a difficult teenager, I ran away from home several times (things at home weren't very nice and I maintain I did have good reason though!) and I know I caused my Mum a huge amount of worry.

That said, I moved out of home at 17 and totally got myself together. I put myself through uni, got married at 26, bought a house and have a baby now. I guess I just want to suggest that being an unruly teenager doesn't mean that your DD will be anything but a normal adult!

Part of my problem at home turned out to be that I was suffering from depression, from 13 years old which wasn't diagnosed until I was 20 years old. I was on medication for 3 years which really helped me. (my DH also had a lot to do with getting me out of that hole too).

Not sure if any of this helps but all the best for sorting it out!! Teenagers are pretty hard in general from what I hear! xx

Hey Dee, you say you live in a small town, do you know the local police well???

A while back we had a kid here going the same way, though his included graffiti as well, but stealing form parents, running off etc, mum got desperate and asked the police what she could do.... they found him and took him in put him in the cells and had a good long chat to him, they were not rough or nasty they just had a chat about where his behaviour would eventually get him etc and that if it continued they would be taking it further, the poor kid was terrified when they picked him up in the police car but so far so good.....


Jess, last time she took off the police were the ones who went and picked her up (we found out where she was while giving them the details, her description and a photo of her etc), they offered to pick her up so they could give her a chat and try to get through to her. They pulled up beside her (she was walking with a group of friends down the street) told her to get in and gave her a BIG talking to on the ride home...seems to have done nothing.

I'm sorry you are having such a stressful time- GBH!!

I was a difficult teenager, I ran away from home several times (things at home weren't very nice and I maintain I did have good reason though!) and I know I caused my Mum a huge amount of worry.

That said, I moved out of home at 17 and totally got myself together. I put myself through uni, got married at 26, bought a house and have a baby now. I guess I just want to suggest that being an unruly teenager doesn't mean that your DD will be anything but a normal adult!

Part of my problem at home turned out to be that I was suffering from depression, from 13 years old which wasn't diagnosed until I was 20 years old. I was on medication for 3 years which really helped me. (my DH also had a lot to do with getting me out of that hole too).

Not sure if any of this helps but all the best for sorting it out!! Teenagers are pretty hard in general from what I hear! xx


Thanks. I know being rebellious doesn't mean you won't turn out to be a normal adult....I am proof of that too,lol. I am just worried if her behaviour continues to escalate and she keeps being so hot headed and making such rash decisions that she won't get to adulthood.
Sign in to follow this topic