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What would you have done?? Lock Rss

MY DS started kindy in the last few weeks of term 3 so has been going for quite a few weeks now. He has never been to daycare or anything before so its the first time leaving mum. He has done so well. On the odd occassion he will ask me to stay but after holding a teachers hand and saying goodbye he is fine and says goodbye easily.

Today he was crying a lot. He was very distressed and kept asking to go home. 2 of the teachers told me that beacuse it was out of character for him, that i should take him home as he might start to hate it there if he is forced to saty when he is so upset.

Another teacher told me to be tough and just leave him or he will play on it every time.

What would you have done??
I would have just left him them and told the teacher that if he did not calm down in half an hour to call me and come pick him up.

I believe that once they see all the other kids are fine - he would have been fine.

Poor little mate!
I would have left him there. Kids have there off days just like everyone else and im sure that after you left he would settle down and have fun just like everyone else. And then secretly i ring up half an hour later to see how there going.

My kids have been going to Daycare since they were very little and they have days when they cry too (they are now 4.5 and 2.5) and they dont hate it.

Its tough and really does pull on the heart strings when they do that.

MY DS started kindy in the last few weeks of term 3 so has been going for quite a few weeks now. He has never been to daycare or anything before so its the first time leaving mum. He has done so well. On the odd occassion he will ask me to stay but after holding a teachers hand and saying goodbye he is fine and says goodbye easily.

Today he was crying a lot. He was very distressed and kept asking to go home. 2 of the teachers told me that beacuse it was out of character for him, that i should take him home as he might start to hate it there if he is forced to saty when he is so upset.

Another teacher told me to be tough and just leave him or he will play on it every time.

What would you have done??

Hi This is my opinion only - I would have taken him home as I would not want him to be so upset and feel ' abandoned' by his mum. Is he well ? Sometimes if children aren't well they can become clingy , also ask him if there was someone or something that he felt upset about.Saying that he could be just having a 'bad' day too. Good Luck smile

Hi This is my opinion only - I would have taken him home as I would not want him to be so upset and feel ' abandoned' by his mum. Is he well ? Sometimes if children aren't well they can become clingy , also ask him if there was someone or something that he felt upset about.Saying that he could be just having a 'bad' day too. Good Luck



I agree with this post <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span>
Thanks for your replies.

Well i did bring him home, for the fact that 2 of the teachers said i should (including the teacher that is his favourite). Hopefully i haven't started something and he will go back to kindy next week as per normal!

Thanks for your replies.

Well i did bring him home, for the fact that 2 of the teachers said i should (including the teacher that is his favourite). Hopefully i haven't started something and he will go back to kindy next week as per normal!



Thats good!! Did you ask DS why he was so upset?? I hope he will enjoy the weekend and return to kindy as per normal on monday good luck smile xx

Thats good!! Did you ask DS why he was so upset?? I hope he will enjoy the weekend and return to kindy as per normal on monday good luck smile xx


Yes i asked him and he just kept saying that he wanted to come home. I will try to have a proper talk to him about it over the weekend.

Thankyou smile

It certainly pulls on the old heart strings thats for sure lol.

Thanks for your replies.

Well i did bring him home, for the fact that 2 of the teachers said i should (including the teacher that is his favourite). Hopefully i haven't started something and he will go back to kindy next week as per normal!

I am sure he will be as you have said before that he has not had any real problems before. If he does start again then maybe you couold leave him and ring up to see how he is going that way if he is happy and playing etc. you can relax and enjoy the day . If not then you can go down and discuss with his teacher/s what might bee the cause or what you can do together so he does not get upset and enjoys kindy. smile
He may be coming down with something if it is out of character. If he is like it next week see if you can stay and watch for a while without him seeing you. My friend was advised to do this by staff as she was getting upset that her DS always screamed when she took him. She said she wanted to throttle him when she saw him look up from a screaming floor tantrum less than 3 mins after she had "gone" see that she "wasn't" there.. get up and go and play happily with other children. She had had about 6 weeks of stress for nothing. lol..

I would have left him.

All 3 of my children started pre school at 2 and in the last 4 years we have used two different schools. All the teachers have said the same on days when one of my children has been upset and that is that 10 min after you leave they calm down and start getting in and having fun. I've always called half an hour later ust to check that they have relaxed and are having fun.

They do need to learn that they cant manipulate you with tears and that when it is time to go to kindy/daycare or whatever, that that is it. What are you going to do when he starts Kindergarten? If you've been modycoddeling him at kindy he's going to expect the same reaction from you when he starts 'big school' and you just cant do that there.

Of course make sure he's not unwell and that there isn't anything/one that is specifically worrying him and if there's not, be brave give him a kiss and tell him you love him, then hand him over. You'll be thankfull in the long run!
I have found recently with DS that he has become a bit clingy when I go to leave him at preschool.

If I just walk out, he melts down and is inconsolable (sp), so I have been telling him that I will stay for 10mins. If he wants to do a painting I will watch him, if he wants to play something, I will play too for the first 10mins, then I have to go. This has worked really well as he is then happily involved in an activity before I leave.

DP done this with him the other day too, he helped Ben and another boy build a big train layout, so when it was time for DP to leave, Ben was busily playing trains with his friend.

But I make sure he knows that I am only staying for a few minutes and I will be back in the afternoon to pick him up. This has worked really well for us smile

Ben 25/10/06 + Erin 10/9/08

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