Huggies Forum

Belting Children?? Lock Rss

Today whilst in a carpark I witnessed an elderly man repetatively belting a young boy (approx 4 or 5 yrs old) in his attempt to get the child to sit in his car seat. The old man kept hitting and hitting the child. This went on for at least 2 whole minutes, who knows how long it went on before I arrived. The child naturally appeared terrified and was crying. I could not help myself and told the man off -he told me to mind my own business. So I told him I would report him to the police as his behaviour had sicked me and that I thought that it was totally inappropriate. The old man's wife told me that they had taken half an hour to get the child out of the store and he was still playing up. I said I did not give a [email protected]#t what the reason was and it was inappropriate to handle a child in that way. Fair enough if a parent gives a child a smack but this was way beyond that and they are clearly the grandparents not the parents. I took down the car rego. Should I report this or am I over reacting. I would really appreciate some advice here as I'm not sure what to do. It makes me wonder if the childs parents are aware that the grandfather belts their child in this manner because if anyone hit my child this way I would kill them. No matter what excuse they had.

depends on wether it was belting with a belt or smacking i guess....

back in the good old days this is how they parented..... if you feel strongly about it report it.

if it was me i would have asked where the mother was and asked the child if he wanted to go with the grandparents.... and possibly called the police as most car parks have videos in them and also if you are in NZ the law states that you are not to smack children also if you know this why would you do it in public?

depends on extreme of the incident a couple of smacks of prolonged beating...

thinking about it i prob would contact someone you never know this child could have already been removed from one place to the grandparents and if you think he could be a risk do you want to be some on who could have done something...

sorry my reply is all over the place
as you were the only one who witnessed it, only you can gauge how bad it was.
what was acceptable forms of discipline and punishment back in the grandparents day is now illegal in this day so depending on whether you feel it was abusive is whether or not i'd report it.
Where was he hitting him?
Was it constant for the entire time?
Do you think it would leave marks on the boys body?

The thing is, if the parents dont know its happening and wouldnt approve (unfortunately some parents would consider this okay sad ) then i'd hope someone would report it if it were my child being belted by the grandparent so that *I* would know, even if it didnt become an issue with the police.

Perhaps ring the police and ask them what they classify as report-worthy and ask them if that sort of behaviour (describe it) should be reported to them. If so, give them the rego. The problem is, the grandparents know that you have threatened it now and can easily get their story straight before anyone approaches them.
But if the child seemed terrified and in danger of being hurt then i probably would.
i dont know, it is a tough one. what is acceptable and what isnt?

i smack ds occasionally but it is always only one. i never do repetative smacking and the thought of it makes me kind of sick cos with my ds one is most certainly enough.

the repetativeness makes me believe that the parent has lost control of the situation and therefore we are bordering on abuse yes? but i am only one person in one family.

tbh i have no idea what i would do. sorry.
actually, after having thought about it, yes i would report it.
i'd rather falsely report someone and have it investigated and deemed okay by the authorities than not reported it and seen that child on the news having been beaten to death. i know that sounds extreme but the problem with a lot of child abuse is that it goes un-noticed or people tend to "mind their own business"
this child is probably too young or too scared to speak up if it is happening on a regular basis and whether it was a one off or a regular occurrence, for it to sicken you and make you go up to them and tell them off, and then for you to take their rego and post about it here, its obviously bothered you a great deal and left you thinking about it.

At best, it was a one off and the grandfather lost control out of frustration and will feel terrible afterwards and hopefully never do it again.
But at worst, this was what happens in public when anyone is able to see it and they are aware of that, and i'd hate to think what might happen in private when there are no outsiders watching.
I would report it, it sounds excessive
I would report it, it sounds excessive
Thanks everyone. I think I will report it as I am worried about this childs safety.
I beleive people always act more controlled in public compared to when they are behind closed doors so who knows what would have happened once they got home.
There were a few other people staring at the man when this was going on but they did nothing. He was hitting the child none stop when I arrived and only stopped when I started abusing him so I beleive it would have continued if I had not have intervened.
The man clearly had totally lost his temper and was taking it out on this child.
I just think the mans behaviour was appauling and his wife just sat in the front seat whilst her husband pretty much assaulted a defenceless child.

I would probably report it if it was me, repeatedly is not ok at all, especially if the child is crying and frightened. My ds1 can be a real handful, but I use time out, if it's been really dangerous or he's had time out already a few times for the same thing then he will get one smack on the bum, and even then I feel guilty about it most of the time, sometimes not so guilty as he had probably hurt ds2 quite badly for the 3rd or 4th time.

There have been times when ds1 has been a right so and so at a shop, or runs off and wants wendys, and yes I could just cave in and get him an ice cream to stop the tantrum, screams and looks of digust by other people or parents, but I know if I caved once I would too often and it would be worse. But a few weeks ago this happened, and it took me 30 minutes to get him from the mall, carried over my shoulder hitting and screaming at me right before Christmas Eve when the mall was packed, to then getting him into the car and him not just getting out of his car seat and out the passenger front door, while also pushing a pram and putting my near 11 month ds2 in the car safely. Thankfully a security guard stood outside the car, but I had the fleeting moment where I wanted to smack his bum to get him in the car faster, instead once we were all in the car I just bawled my eyes out and wish my ds would be easier.

So yeah I'd say call him, but I'm guilty as charged for having fleeting thoughts of thinking I could smack my ds1 more than once when he becomes too aggressive, too much for me to handle and hits or kicks and screams at me for a good half an hour. I've never done it I've just walked away if we are at home, I can't lock the car and walk away as it's alarmed and he can open it from the inside and set the alarm off repeatedly. It's still no excuse for what he did to the thing to think it and to do is a complete other sad

If it was repetitive hitting, particularly with an object (you said he was belting him - was he using a belt?) then yes most certainly!!
I would also contact the appropriate child abuse line in your state.. Just to make a notification of what you witnessed.

That poor boy sad

I would at least call the police to find out whether what you saw is considered excessive from a legal perspective (from what you've said, I'd say yes) and have your concerns noted by someone. I'm a firm believer in carrying through on threats - you told them that you would be reporting it so I feel you should report it.

I know that, for me personally, if I smack DD more than once for something it is because I've lost control of my own temper and I do feel that excessive smacking (more than one or two times) is not acceptable. Its one of the reasons why I try to avoid smacking her (although I'm not perfect and do use smacks on odd occasions).

PLEASE report it to the Police. The Police can at least go around there and check the welfare of this child.
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