DF has left :(

DF has left me tonight.
he has been really not himself for a couple of weeks now and I have been trying to help him by being there for him etc. he keeps saying that he isn't in the right head space, and that its not me it him. tonight he said he cant do it anymore and he was leaving.
after nearly 2hrs of us talking and crying he said he was going down to his brothers.
I msged his bro to see if he was there, and he rang me asking what was was wrong. him and his GF came up to make sure I was ok, which I wasn't, but DD has a cold and they wanted to make sure that we were actually ok.
any way turns out DF didnt go to his brothers, so no idea where he went.
he has sent me a msg telling me he is sorry, but its over, and asked if DD was alright.
I have just gotten a msg from him now asking if he can stay in the spare room, which im ok about I spose, I dont want him sleeping in his car. I still do care so much about him and love him to bits, but he said he doesnt feel that way about me anymore. I'm at a loss, no idea what Im going to do. I havent even told my parents yet cause i think in my head Im pretending its not happening and that we will be fine
we have a house together and I cant afford to pay the mortgage which I told him and he said he will keep paying it, but if he does that then I dont know where he will live as he wont be able to afford to rent. I know that it seems Im worrying about him too much, but I am really worried as I think he has depression and not accepting that he does.
he is also scared that his parents will hate him. I told them that they wont , they maybe a little disappointed about it but not hate him. he also keeps saying that the only ppl that are his friends are our families, which is mostly true, as last night he had a falling out with his mate.

soo sorry if none of this makes any sense. no need for replies I just dont know what I will do. I feel like Im no one with out him.

DF has left me tonight.
he has been really not himself for a couple of weeks now and I have been trying to help him by being there for him etc. he keeps saying that he isn't in the right head space, and that its not me it him. tonight he said he cant do it anymore and he was leaving.
after nearly 2hrs of us talking and crying he said he was going down to his brothers.
I msged his bro to see if he was there, and he rang me asking what was was wrong. him and his GF came up to make sure I was ok, which I wasn't, but DD has a cold and they wanted to make sure that we were actually ok.
any way turns out DF didnt go to his brothers, so no idea where he went.
he has sent me a msg telling me he is sorry, but its over, and asked if DD was alright.
I have just gotten a msg from him now asking if he can stay in the spare room, which im ok about I spose, I dont want him sleeping in his car. I still do care so much about him and love him to bits, but he said he doesnt feel that way about me anymore. I'm at a loss, no idea what Im going to do. I havent even told my parents yet cause i think in my head Im pretending its not happening and that we will be fine
we have a house together and I cant afford to pay the mortgage which I told him and he said he will keep paying it, but if he does that then I dont know where he will live as he wont be able to afford to rent. I know that it seems Im worrying about him too much, but I am really worried as I think he has depression and not accepting that he does.
he is also scared that his parents will hate him. I told them that they wont , they maybe a little disappointed about it but not hate him. he also keeps saying that the only ppl that are his friends are our families, which is mostly true, as last night he had a falling out with his mate.

soo sorry if none of this makes any sense. no need for replies I just dont know what I will do. I feel like Im no one with out him.

Hi Hun,

Just wanted to send you big hugs!

I hope you are ok.
Times like this can be very hard and challenging but just make sure you look after yourself and your DD.

I hope everything works out well for you

xx

Hi im so sorry to hear your story, you will go through all different feeling when it happened to me a bit of a different to your story ,i went through i hate you, i want us to get back together for the kids why did you do this to us,and so on in the end you be friends for the kids sake, things will be different as the days go on,i sounds like you still love him very much you say he said he doesnt love you do you think his just saying this so he doesnt hurt you anymore,maybe tomorrow you can sit down one on one or sometime in the next few days.i hope you are ok tonight and just hug you little DD they do make you feel better.xoxo

Big Hugs to you. I don't really have any advise as it is really early days so this may all just work out. What ever happens just try to keep civil for your DD's sake.

Thanks Ladies.
I do still love him heaps, he knows that. the part that gets me the most is that 5 weeks ago he said that he wanted to get married at easter this year. I was so happy, and just weeks pass he he has left.
he has even said to me that it would have been easier to leave if he had a reason like he was seeing someone else but he doesnt. I dont thave any hate for him atm and I hope i dont develop any, but emotions, who knows what they will do

I'm sorry that you have to go threw this.
He may need some counceling and it might help you too.
Sending you a hug and hope everything works out for the best.

I do hope you guys can work things out, Your DP is being very mature about everything. It would be unfair for him to sleep in the spare room as what will that do to you. I feel for you and im sorry that your going though this and i do hope things get batter and maybe with a little time. He will decide what he wants. Good luck xx

Heres my take.

Let him sleep in spare room dont do everything for him. Basically take care of you and your daughters needs and let him see that although you love him you wont be a door mat. Dont do his washing cook his meals. Also go to centrelink and get payments and be clear with finances.

I hope he will see what he is missing out on.

so sorry to hear this hun sad

It's hard to admit but sometimes people just move apart..sometimes with no reason whatsoever..no explanation. I think that you guys are being extremely mature about all this and am very proud of you.

I hope things get sorted out for you sweety and that you don't get too down on yourself. GBH!
xoxo

Ohhhhh hun sad You had me in tears reading this. I don't know what to say sad GBH to you xox

If he has no reason to be leaving... I think I would be suggesting that you start again, and start out by having a few 'dates'. Even if you're not in the same house when you do it - a conversation over dinner can do wonders for a relationship. Dh and I do this on a regular basis just because things can get a bit stagnant if you go through everyday life just living. We make sure dd is with my parents, and enjoy an evening together. At the end of the evening we get back that closeness that has been missing for a while.

I hope that things will be worked out... sometimes you feel like you drift apart (maybe thats how your DF feels?) and it's only because there needs to be a bit more effort to spend more time together.

big hugs
xxxx

I wouldn't be letting him stay in the spare room. How dare he treat you like this? He obviously wants the best of both worlds.

I'd be renting the house out and moving somewhere you CAN afford by yourself. He can do the same.

The most important thing is your DD and she needs to have some stability in her life, not a father who comes and goes as he pleases.

Fiona.