Huggies Forum

Sleepovers Lock Rss

I am in need of some help. Kaili is in reception and has lots of wonderful friends (even though I really don't like some of their parents). She has recently started asking to have people over for a sleepover or go to someone else house for one.
I don't want her going to other someone elses house. As much as I don't want to sound like a bitch, but some of the kids have "feral" parents. There is no way she is staying there. I don't mind the kids coming here for a sleepover but they are always going want to do it the other way as well.
How old were your children when they had their first sleepover?
What size town do you live in?
Did you grow up there and/or you good friends with everyone before kids?

I didn't grow up here and I really wouldn't trust my kids with anyone.
I sound like I am up on my high horse but I can't help it.
Please help. sad

DS1 was about 6 when he had his first sleepover. He had his friend, who lives next door, over. They haven't reciprocated yet...but then DS1 practically lives over there these days anyway. laugh He has been to another friends house though and his party this year was a sleepover one.

The city, that our small community is a part of, has about 38,500 people in it. We emigrated from the UK to NZ 5 years ago so most of the people that DS1 hangs out with we have met either through daycare or school.

Generally, IMO the fun of sleepovers is getting to do stuff you might not do at home, so unless I knew that the parents were druggies/alcoholics or would somehow endanger their lives I'd probably let my kid go if they were friends with the child but I didn't necessarily agree with how the parents were raising their kids. So for example, the friend that DS went to stay overnight with has parents who think that a smack, when appropriate is no big deal while I don't approve of or condone it. I trust however that they would never discipline MY child that way because they know how I feel about it, but if I didn't then I wouldn't him to go.

hi there
sorry don't know how old your daughter actually is (as we don't have reception here!?)
but my dd has just turned four and i wouldn't let her stay for a sleepover at a friends house yet (especially if i didn't really know the parents)
we have had my dd's cousins here for sleepovers and they are 6 and 8 - and the 6 year old still wants his mum sometimes (like at 1am doh!) yet he is such an independant boy!
my dd talks about sleepovers heaps too - but she hears these thngs from kinder, telly shows (like arthur and playschool) so i think it is just a natural role playing - i wouldn't let her sleep over anywhere yet - until she was at least 6 i think (and that she also understands things like what is "private" and what isn't)
i think 4 is too young!
ps. we have sleepovers sometimes with my dd's dolls and teddies - we get out blankets and they sleep on the floor with here - to me that is enough at this age (unless they are sleeping at nana and pop's house!)
pps. if you don't really know/like these people why on earth would you leave your most previous possession (your dd) with them overnight! wink
Hi, my eldest dd is nine and a half, and has only had sleepovers with the grandparents and Aunty. She is getting to the age where I would consider it, with her best friend if she asked, but I think each child is ready at different ages. I think you have to know the parents very well and trust them, and that your child would feel comfortable and confident enough to speak up if there was any issues. Personally I think reception might be a little young, but thats only my opinion. Also, if you invite them to sleepover at your house, you may have the friend wanting to do one at their house next, which could be awkward if you are not comfortable with that. I would say, "Sorry but we aren't going to be doing sleepovers until you're x years old, but xx can come over for a play..." HTH smile
my son was 8 had a couple of sleep overs at a friends place she was a single mum and a peads nurse.... but hasn't had any apart from grandparents and aunts and uncles .... not too keen keen for him to do sleep overs....
For me the age for school friends will be 10, and age for close friends will be 8.
DD asked to sleep at her friends house the other day I nearly cried LOL! Her mother and I are close friends and while i trust her 100% I just couldnt sleep without DD here and knowing DD id more than likely end up having to go and get her. Not that i'd mind lol
Thanks for your replies. It has eased my mind so much. She is 5 and only sleeps at ours or family's houses. Being that I really don't know the parents well but know they probably do drugs or drink a lot. One of her best friends seems to be neglected (child services know about them but won't do anything). The poor thing always has nits (can only imagine what the house is like when her parents are alcoholics) and there is no way I am putting her in an environment like that.
The kids are all lovely, it's just their parents and home environments that I don't like.
Thanks again. I was starting to feel like she was missing out. Thanks.

I dont think its got anything to do with being on a high horse! I think its natural and normal to protect your children and part of that for me is not leaving them with people I dont know and trust.

Personally I think under 10 is too young for a sleepover at a school friends house UNLESS you are very close friends with the parents as well and trust them implicitly.
DD and my niece have been asking me and SIL for a sleepover lately and they are 4 and 4.5yrs. I am fine with my neice coming here but dont want DD to go there as I just dont trust SIL or BIL (a few incidents and one was only on Oz day). SIL keeps pormising them it will happen soon which annoys me as I will look like a bitch when it doesnt.
I would let both DD and DS sleep at my other SIL's or my sisters, grandparents or my aunt and uncles and certain friends houses now but not a school/kindy friends until they are about 7ish and I know the both parents/caregivers well.

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