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So watching Desperates last night and Susan was upset over Lynette doing cc with her dd. So now I know where I draw the line with other peoples children, but what would others do?
I wouldn't cc a child in my care regardless of that being the parents preferred settling method. I've heard people say "if xx is being naughty I have no problem with you smacking him/her" But not for me, I couldn't do it. I guess there would be lots of other situations to where one parents methods aren't supported by others who might care for that child.
So, two scenarios;

1) If your child was in the care of a friend of family member would you expect them to follow through with your discipline techniques or would you mind if they did whatever they do with their own children?
2) If you were the one caring for a child would you take on board the childs usual sleep routines, discipline methods etc or just do the same as you do with your own children?

So watching Desperates last night and Susan was upset over Lynette doing cc with her dd. So now I know where I draw the line with other peoples children, but what would others do?
I wouldn't cc a child in my care regardless of that being the parents preferred settling method. I've heard people say "if xx is being naughty I have no problem with you smacking him/her" But not for me, I couldn't do it. I guess there would be lots of other situations to where one parents methods aren't supported by others who might care for that child.
So, two scenarios;

1) If your child was in the care of a friend of family member would you expect them to follow through with your discipline techniques or would you mind if they did whatever they do with their own children?
2) If you were the one caring for a child would you take on board the childs usual sleep routines, discipline methods etc or just do the same as you do with your own children?


If someone is watching my kids I expect them to use our disapline techinques (timeouts, removal of luxuries toys phones ect) as long as they feel comfortable doing so. I did CC my children at times but I would never expect anyone else to CC my kids. I would never accept anyone smacking my child not even family. And I do the same with other peoples kids, I use thier techniques as far as Im comfortable but will use a blend of my techniques as lomg as thier parents are happy with that...often they are very similar anyway. I personally would CC someone elses child if I was asked to but I ahve done it with my children so am fairly comfortable with the technique. And I would never leave a child to become hysterical. I also would never smack someone elses child.

Cheers Ness

Personally I would try and follow the parents wishes, even if I don't always agree they are the parent of that child and are parenting them the way they feel is best for that child. From sleep routine to discipline... If I really was really struggling with the discipline side of things, I would try time out etc but would never smack a child that the parent has said they don't want smacked, plus smacking to me is a tap on the hand, if any smack at all. I have looked after friends kids that had to be layer next to until they fell asleep etc, it doesn't really bother me smile I would want people to do as I ask for DD so try and to the same for others.

LHB



1) If your child was in the care of a friend of family member would you expect them to follow through with your discipline techniques or would you mind if they did whatever they do with their own children?



If mine were in someone else's care I would expect that they are cared for in the same way that we would care for them. Generally speaking though I wouldn't choose to leave my baby/toddler in the care of someone who had polar opposite views to us because they can't always tell you what's gone on...but DS1 I would as he is nearly 8 and he knows we don't use physical discipline methods so he'd tell me if they'd been used on him; when he goes to friends houses and the parents discipline in a way we don't I make sure they know what we do and that they need to use those methods.


2) If you were the one caring for a child would you take on board the childs usual sleep routines, discipline methods etc or just do the same as you do with your own children?



My 'borrowed' child was placed in my care because her parents and I have similar parenting philosophies. Now over the Christmas break she apparently learned to 'self settle' but I get the impression there was some crying involved; before this I was holding/rocking her to sleep as per mum&dad's instructions. She went through a stage a couple of months ago where she basically refused to sleep while here, she's here for nearly 10 hours 4 days a week, and I asked dad if the preference was for her to sleep by any means necessary or that she was 'self settling'. Self settling 'won' which shocked me because I am all for the sleep and would have just rocked/held if she were mine. laugh That's our only clash at the moment but I won't leave her to scream down the house regardless of what her parents would do, but will leave her if she is whininging. Lately I have been holding her to comfort her and trying again to put her down or just sitting with her until she is asleep or just about there.

So generally speaking I do what parents want...but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Physical discipline I could NEVER do..even if given 'permission' by the parents, and I'd let them know that.


all our friends have similar parenting styles to us including getting children to sleep..... what ever works is our motto

If someone is watching my kids I expect them to use our disapline techinques (timeouts, removal of luxuries toys phones ect) as long as they feel comfortable doing so. I did CC my children at times but I would never expect anyone else to CC my kids. I would never accept anyone smacking my child not even family. And I do the same with other peoples kids, I use thier techniques as far as Im comfortable but will use a blend of my techniques as lomg as thier parents are happy with that...often they are very similar anyway. I personally would CC someone elses child if I was asked to but I ahve done it with my children so am fairly comfortable with the technique. And I would never leave a child to become hysterical. I also would never smack someone elses child.

Cheers Ness


agreed. i would never smack someone elses kids and no one other than dh and i are allowed to smack my kids. i cc'd so i am confortable with that too.
I would expect that if I left my child with a friend or relative that they would use my techniques. Especially as I found when Serendipity was small, the tiniest amount of change would send her back in a way that could take days/weeks to correct.

I used the CC method in a round about, modified way, so I would be comfortable doing that, but I could never leave a hysterical child, so I draw the line there.

As for discipline, we don't use physical force in our house unless there is direct danger and I have done the same with children in my care. In saying that, the need has only arisen once when I had a friends daughter who was two at the time. I left her for a second to get her a drink and I returned to her trying to shove a small toy in the lounge room power outlet. I lightly tapped her hand and used a firm voice to frighten her. I would rather she was a bit wary of me, then injured (or worse) by an electrical shock :/

Kelly and Serendipity


So watching Desperates last night and Susan was upset over Lynette doing cc with her dd. So now I know where I draw the line with other peoples children, but what would others do?
I wouldn't cc a child in my care regardless of that being the parents preferred settling method. I've heard people say "if xx is being naughty I have no problem with you smacking him/her" But not for me, I couldn't do it. I guess there would be lots of other situations to where one parents methods aren't supported by others who might care for that child.
So, two scenarios;

1) If your child was in the care of a friend of family member would you expect them to follow through with your discipline techniques or would you mind if they did whatever they do with their own children?
2) If you were the one caring for a child would you take on board the childs usual sleep routines, discipline methods etc or just do the same as you do with your own children?


OOH interesting question. If I were leaving DS with someone I'd hope and expect they would follow through on MY parenting ideas. Which would include NOT doing CC and NOT smacking.
However, if I were in care of a child and told I could smack them, I wouldn't do it.

I guess the point would be, would I leave him with someone who would treat him opposed to my parenting views, and the answer, probably not.
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