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Those with 4 year olds Lock Rss

So my little man is 4 in a couple of months and we are having bedtime issues.

He is going to bed no issues, but he is just so frightened of monsters. I feel bad for him. I leave a lamp on for him with the bedroom door open and we check on him often. Most of the time when we go in there he has the blamkets pulled up over his face with just his eyes poking out.

We constantly reassure him that monsters aren't real and that they are only on cartoons (why they put them in there I have no idea). We never have adult TV on whilst there up, only playhouse disney and the likes.

I can remember being frightened as a child and feeling like you were being turned inside out, and I hate that he is feeling that way. He also has bad dreams. The other night he told me that he had a dream where we were walking to the shop and I was walking to fast for him and a man got him and put him in a cage.

Now I have taught him about stranger danger and how not everyone is nice, and he should always stay with us, or someone might take him away. But I have no idea where he got the thought of being put in a cage.

I know all I can do is reassure him that he is safe, but I just wanted to know that this is normal and something that most kids go through.
DS is almost 5 now, but he had a phase where he was waking up occasionally from nightmares and saying spiders or monsters were in the room. Thankfully he's pretty much grown out of it now, but he has a stuffed toy dinosaur that he loves, so whenever it happened, I'd grab the dino and go into his room (telling him to jump into the spare bed next door) and go in, all guns blazing and throw up the doona and make a lot of roaring noises etc.

Then I'd go back and tell him Larry and I didn't find anything, but by golly, if there was anything trying to hide anywhere in his room they'd be heading for the hills by now, because we would have scared them so much.

It made it a lot less scary for him, and he got to have a little laugh about his dinosaur being so brave. Thankfully it didn't become a game or anything for him, so it wasn't a regular occurence, but it helped him get over his fears.
Poor little bug sad

I remember my bad dreams as a kid - not nice! So I can imagine how he (and you) are feeling.

The only thing that made me feel better was to creep into mum and dad's bed and sleep with them! laugh (something my DS does when he wakes up <img src='<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' /> )

I've heard that a special 'monster' spray often works - just get a cheap spray bottle and fill it with water and perhaps a couple of drops of lavender oil.
When he feels frightened he can use the spray to get rid of the monsters..
Or, like onewingedangel said, a special toy that protects him might work.

When DD was being a scaredy-cat I pointed out the dream catcher I have in her room and told her that it caught all the bad dreams so that they didn't get to her, and the feathers made the good dreams fly over to her when she slept..

It made her feel happier about going to sleep.. until she had a bad dream and accused the dream catcher of not working properly.. roll eyes
to which I responded, 'well you shouldn't have pulled the feathers off of it!' LOL

Anyhoo... the other strategy is to get some Brauer's Child's sleep drops.
I have been using these with DS because he got into the awful habit of waking up every single night and only going back to sleep if he was in our bed (on my side of course, hogging.)
It really worked wonders!! Used it for a good few weeks religiously..

Good luck anyway!

Ds1 is 5 now, but he went thru a similar stage a when he was nearly 4.

We tried night lights, teddy to sleep with, so many things, and in the end the only thing that worked for him was monster spray"! We filled a spray bottle with water and some lavendar drops, and sprayed the monster spray before we said goodnight, and if he woke up in the middle of the night, we just sprayed the monsters away. Went on for ac ouple of weeks, and he was back to sleeping well.

My DS1 turned 4 in December. He went through a phase where he was scared of spiders being in his room, and wanted me to spray his room every night. I didn't want to douse his room with bug spray before he went to sleep, so I used a home-made air freshener, just water with a few drops of eucalyptus oil in a squirty bottle, and sprayed a fine mist of that around his room. He liked the smell and it made him feel safe, so we had no more problems - I only had to do it for a week or so. Maybe you could try something like that, and call it his special monster spray?

Edit - just saw that everyone else suggested the same thing laugh
See I have thought of these things, but was worried I would be conveying the message that monster were real? But maybe I could just still stick with the monster aren't real but if he is still frightened the spray will help.

Did you just leave it beside there bed and let them spray?

See I have thought of these things, but was worried I would be conveying the message that monster were real? But maybe I could just still stick with the monster aren't real but if he is still frightened the spray will help.

Did you just leave it beside there bed and let them spray?

I didn't leave it in his room, I took it out with me when I left his room. I let him spray it when he needed it though.

Personally - and I know others may disagree - I don't actually think kids think like that, with saying the monsters aren't real but giving them spray to chase them off. As you've found, you can tell a kid til you're blue in the face that monsters aren't real, but they're still going to be scared of them. I have found that the best thing is to humour him to an extent - not so far as actually agreeing that monsters are real, or acting scared of them yourself, or anything like that - but it's important to recognise that the things kids are scared of are very real to them, regardless of what you say. Chances are, it's a phase, and he'll grow out of it anyway.

I do still tell my boys that monsters aren't real, they're just pretend; but if they're scared anyway then the extra reassurance of their monster spray is helpful for them, so I'm happy to let them have it smile
what i did with my son when he was scared od dreams/monsters etc, was give him a card (or picture) of archangel michael and told him that is he ever got scared of anyhting all he had to do was call archangel michael and he would come with is sword (he is carrying a sword in the picture) and protect him. I explain that he would suround him with white light that and no one could harm him.

You could also do the sam with a crystal as well if you don't want to bring religion into it.

Good luck, it so sad to see the more lil mites so scared.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

My daughter us four and she is still waking two or three times a night.. Ahh and for no real reason, just need a cuddle mummy.. Im so tired!! No monsters here, just the kids hahaha.. smile Sorry not much help.. Just keep reassuring that there is no such thing as monsters
My 4 year old knows monsters aren't real, but sometimes pretends there is one in his room, I think just for a bit of extra cuddles and attention from mummy, just keep reassuring him they aren't real, I read a post a while back and the mum did something like pretend to chase the monsters from the room, or send any monsters to the naughty spot for scaring the child, or pretended to tell the monster off type thing, but thats not a good idea when you want to pretend they aren't real, but I think it just made a game out of it, like if my kids bump there head on a door, or bench, we tell the bench off "naughty bench, don't hit Bria in the head" type thing and the kids think its funny. Could do the same for a pretend monster...
we have had similar issues with DS1. we try to tell him monsters aren't real, but when he was going through the stage, every night before bed we would check everywhere to make sure there was nothing. under the bed, in the wardrobe, making sure none are in the toilet etc. so by him seeing for himself everynight for a week or so, he got use to the fact that there wasn't any. we also put a special lock on the front door (more to keep them in) and said no one can get in because of this special lock. also DH is their hero, so we say daddy has special powers and if any one or any thing tries to come inside, daddy's special powers will protect us all. worked for us and DS1 got over it rather quickly
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