Huggies Forum

Starting again...court Lock Rss

So i'll try and keep this brief. I've recently moved out of our family home but myself and DP are working on things. Our DS lives with me and my SD and SS live with their father and spend 4 days a fortnight with their mum and half of school hols. About 3 yrs ago we went thru the family court and the arrangements were put in place. Now my DP was never an angel when he was younger and alot of this came up plus a hell of alot of lies from the mother. It wasn't until the children spoke to a physchologists that every1 realised we were telling the truth about the neglect and kids welfare. 6 months ago it came to light the the mums brother had touched my SD. I took her to police and charges are stil being invetigated. It also came to light that the mother knew 12months ago but still sent her DD there overnight so she could go out. My DP told his ex not to let her bro near the kids. On the school holidays while they were there the bro came over. It's just not the physical side of things if mum is in the room but the emotional side of things for my SD it wouldnm't of been hard to take kds for walk she lves with her mum. Throughout court it was proven that the mother didn't feed kids properly sent them school dirty unidorms shoes with holes etc etc. Now i know being a single parent isn't easy but when you lve in housing commision and still get ur elec cut off ndd kicked out for not payiing rent but can still affird to go clubbing and leave kids home alone there is a problem. The mother also all thru court told SD he'd live with her but cudn't submit drug test or do parenting course which kids olicitor asked for just annoys me. They constantly run me down and DP plus she not looking after them physically again neither SD came home from hol wit a bad infection on her face that needed antibiotics. My DP has just started working in a town about 3 hours away and the children stay with me. I'm frustrated that with court again the cost legal aid does cover some plus lost earnings and stress of it. I can't understand if you can't look after your children don't screw with their minds or not support ppl who do look after them. If i cudn't care for my DS i would support his father 100%. Now about to start whole process again.We don't want them not to see their mum but again we'll be made out to be bad guys. Sorry for my ramble and vent but i had to get it out. It sh!ts me when ppl can't look out and after their children.
Posted Today, 10:15 AM

Oh hun! I know how you feel! I have started the court process with my ex again as I am moving out of Christchurch. Ex doesn't want me to have ANY PLAUSIBLE contact even though HE is the one with a drug problem, HE is the one who wouldn't continue with toilet training (I had to do it 3 times!) and he still puts DS in a nappy out of lazyness, HE shares a bedroom at his parents house with DS and DS's half brother (when he is there). He is trying to use my history of mental illness as an excuse for me not to have DS If ex was a good (doesn't have to be great, just good) parent I honestly would be able to handle ex having "primary care" with me having substantial contact but he isn't so I want DS in the best place for him and that happens to be with me, if it changes in the future (he gets his *** together) and DS wants to see dad more then fine but DS needs stability and to be provided for PROPERLY and his dad just doesn't do that

Oh babe the court process is defintly fun. I'm in australia so not sure how it works in NZ but here the chilfren's solicitor asked both parents for a drug test (actually due to my DP history) but he supplied a cleam one and mother didn't bother. Plus in regards to mental history the solicitor asked for the mum to be assessed only as she lied bout not bein able to go out as DP supposedly bashed her... all lies.... Can you ask for a drug test and see a physch and submit that for court..???? Big Hugs to you i know how frustrating it is to do something only for them to go to other parents and you have to start again!!!
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