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Abort or Keep Rss

Hi Girls,

I found out yesturday that I am pregnant for the 2nd time. The clear blue pregnancy test said I was about 2-3 weeks from conception. I already have a (nearly)3 year old daughter who I chose to keep and went through pregnancy and birth as a single mum.

Really need some decent non judgemental advice. We have signed up to build a house. Finance has gone through and we are paying for the land at the moment. House is due to be completed around March/April next year and baby will be due in May.

This couldn't have come at any worser time really. Im really worried how we are going to afford a mortgage on the one wage? I am prepared to start my own business from home, but this could take some time to build and get decent amount of clientelle? Does anyone know roughly how much parenting payment I would get for 2 children?

My partner hasnt told me exactly what he wants. But judging on the comments he has made, im about 70% sure he wants to abort. hes really concerned about how we are going to afford having 2.5 kids (have his little girl week on week off) plus having a new mortgage and all the other expenses that come with a house and a newborn baby. He told me he will support whatever decision I make and isn't going anywhere. Which is nice to hear as my daughters dad took off as soon as he found out I was pregnant with her.

I never thought I would consider having an abortion. EVER. but im so lost and confused at the moment. I just want to give my family the best possible chance at stability. I don't want to give up the house, as it means so much to Dale and myself too, and we have pushed so hard to make it happen. But I would be affected for LIFE if i had to abort?

I can't talk to any friends or family as I would hate for them to know, and judge, if I did choose to abort.

Please Help!!

you could get a part time job once bubs is born so there would be 2 incomes. then when you are ready you can start your home business.
are you in nz or auz???

ummm it does kind of effect you for the rest of your life, just because every now and then you think about it, how old it wolud be etc

i had one about 6 years ago and these days its not so upsetting, just a "what if" feeling.. and i now see i would be alot worse off than i am now if i had gone ahead with the pregnancy

in your situation theres going to be a "what if" feeling either way, you really need to make this decision for yourself, dont take anybody elses opinion into consideration, only you would be getting the abortion so only you have the right to judge either way
If you abort you may live with the guilt of why did i do it because you be thinking about what he/she maybe like and what they look like and everything that goes along with having a baby. Like others have said you can manage like getting a part time job and going to op shops to buy clothes. Plus if you a good shopper you be able to pick up good bargin.

As PP have said only you and your partner can make that decision!

If it was me, I would keep it for I believe finacially we will always find a way.

If you log onto (I think) you can do an income estimate and that will tell you what benefits you could receive on your partners income.

We survive on one income even though DP lost his job seven months ago so we have actually been living off our savings for the past seven months. I'm a SAHM. Due to the fact that we had so much in savings we have recieved hardly anything from centrelink. Even now we finally get the full amount it only covers around 3/4 of our mortgage and the rest of our expences are paid for by savings. Even prior to losing his job DP was on a low income but we still saved money each month.

Give it a few days. I think you're still in shock and you need to think about this logically!

I agree with the other ladies, if you really want to keep the baby, than just be tight with your budget while your still working and then pick up part time work after the baby is born to help out.

Abortion is something that really will play on your mind for the rest of your life, you always wonder what colour hair they would have had or if they would have looked like you or your partner, so its not a decision that we can help you with. Will you be able to live with yourself if you chose to go through it.

Best of luck, its going to be an extremely hard decision. xx
We have a 2.4 year old and an 11 month old and have been surviving on one (modest) wage more or less for the past 3 years while paying a mortgage and a car loan as well as all the other expenses of life! It has been a constant struggle and it is exhausting surviving on a tight budget. I have picked up casual work where possible to help, of course this dependent on child care. It has been hard but I'm about to start a permanent part time position and yay(!) we are so happy that we are going to have more money again. I guess what I am trying to say is that, if you can get by and manage on a tight budget for a couple of years, you'll get past the hardest bit and things will get easier again.
I wont tell you what to do but all ill say is, if you want to talk, inbox me smile
If your in Aus and currently working, at least you are now entitled to paid maternity a bit of time at home paid.

also jump onto the centrelink website and do the calculations as to what you can maybe surprised....we aren't entitled to any money with just 1 child with DF's job, but when the 2nd child comes along we are actually entitled to a little bit i believe if i'm not working.

Also maybe with your homeloan, you could maybe look at doing 'interest only' for a year or so till you go back to work, that should ease the burden a little?

newborns aren't too bad bad cost wise as skippy said, EBAY!!! cheapest way to afford a child EVER smile

I hope you come to a decision you are happy with xx

i think if u abort it will affect u for the rest of ur life. 1 of my friends got an abortion about 3years ago as the guy was a complete dropkick and said he wouldnt stick around. she acts like it was no big deal but we can all tell it affects here and she feels really guilty. every year around the same time she drinks herself stupid and wen i told her i was preg she was happy but i could see she was upset at the same time.
its something u need to be completely sure about if u do go ahead.
either way I really hope you make the right decision cause it is one that cause cause alot of hurt and harm to your future ...but also what ever decision you make just know you have lots of support xo

for me ?? personally ?? I dont see how you can compare the two ?? If you wanted to make it work then you could ..there are lots of things you can do and having money is not always going to make you happy ...are you going to feel comfortable looking at your brand new house in years to come knowing what sacrifice you made to get it ???

can I suggest you get some help and guidance from a professional ?? maybe call life line or similar and see if they can give you some guidance ...often talking is a better medium for advice then a forum cause here you will get lots of opinions and I feel that would confusse me sad

either way i hope you can make a decision your comfortable with no matter what it is ...take care xoxoxo

if you are only a few weeks along you could try and get a fixed term paid temping or reception work. that way you will have a little bit of extra money to be organised for when the baby comes. and then when the baby is here im sure you can get some form of government subsidy.
or if your in NZ, sign up with porse or a similar company or aus equivalent and work from home, that way you get to see your own kids as well as get paid to look after other children you could start with them now or when bubs is born, most will put you threw ( at a reduced cost) some papers in early child hood care if you want them to, aswel as first aid courses and workshops that could be beneficial to you as a mother and carer . im not saying abort and im not saying don't abort im saying with what time you have left before making a decision, explore all your options and do some research into what is out there and what help or subsidies you can get.

p.s i have had an abortion, not because i didn't want it or couldn't afford but for reasons i am not to keen on discussing publicly, i do think you should ask your partner or atleast talk to him about the abortion because assuming he is 70% for an abortion, is not really an answer or an excuse to do it. i thought my partner at the time wanted me to and later down the track found out that he wanted it more then anything, but let me decided as he seemed to think i always new what was best for us and made the right decisions and considering the things going on in our lives at the time he was probably right. neither of you want to force the weight of this choice on each other nor have it upon your selves so work together to find a solution that suits you both. there are always going to be what ifs... no matter which way you go smile

good luck and great big hugs for you xo
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